Belier

Hi Everyone: I was not sure if I was going to fess up and tell you all because it was not very climaxic.

the other day I was with a friend they had a shandy, very little beer and some gingerale, they asked if I wanted a sip, normally I would say no, but I said yes. I have not had any for 8 months and this has been my first time of ever stopping. I had been fearful that this monster would take control over my body and once I started I would not stop. But alas that did not happen, i sipped it and went hmm, no I don't really like it. then carried on with a great night. I had been out at big events the previous week and not drank anything. Not sure how this should be taken, but I have had no desire to continue and felt very empowered with not wanting more after the sip.

Am I in dangerous territory? My thoughts are I feel even more in control now. hmm.

GettingStronger2

My concern is that by having the sip and not liking it, and not drinking more, next time, you will have more than a sip, because you are in control after all, right?

For me, drinking any amount of alcohol is a risk. One i hope to not take.

Another question i have is why? Why did you say yes to the sip this time?

Belier

Good point, I had built up this amazing fear that it would just take over me and I would be posessed. I think I need to think about the situation and why I said yes in this instance. I think the answer lies in that I wanted to appear normal but did not want to actually drink the alcohol

sugarbear1

Why bother?

Dee74

Hi Ring

In my experience alcohol never instantly possessed me - it wasn't like I ever took one sip and turned into Mr Hyde...

It was waaaay more subtle than that - it was always insidious...

Truth is I often didn't like my reintroductions to booze either....but a sip here...a sip there...a very weak shandy there....all ok...

then hey why not....one beer...still ok....then two beers...suddenly a six pack...before I knew it - I was back where I was.

I'm not saying you've started any process, ring - but I really believe for drinkers like us a sip can never be just a sip.

I'd think carefully about what your rationalisations were - you've done amazingly well to rebuild your life...there's no reason why you can't keep doing amazingly well, y'know?

D

Belier

Yes thanks Dee, I am kind of regretting posting. As I want to be a good example to all new comers. But it happened, and it is my journey. My life is going wonderful and I will never ever go back to what it was I know that with certainty.

Dee74

Don't regret posting - this is a thing most of us face at some time or other....
by posting about it, you're doing a great service - not only to yourself, but others Ring

D

SASA

ring, thanks for posting. I am also tempted, but I think Dee is correct, the monster first feeds you candy and lulls you in with a song. Then once you trust you are in control it will bite and drag you in. This happened to me the last time I started to think I can control and one sip will not hurt. First 1 sip, then another, then a glass, it took 1 year but the monster got me. after 3 years I started drinking full blown again..... After 5 years with the monster I am finally free again, not planing to be lured in this time

Reset

Hey ring, don't regret posting. Nobody here is judging you (at least I'm not). I'd consider it a good thing that you didn't get sucked into the vortex, and the indifference to the alcohol is a good sign too imo. Just keep up your guard though.

Hevyn

I'm glad you posted too, ring. Being honest about your feelings isn't something to apologize for. We're here to deal with the truth. Thank you!

Anna

I'm glad you posted, too, but I do think that you are in dangerous territory. As soon as you think you have some/any control over alcohol, you are in a losing position.

topspin

Posting about that is waa..aaay better than just keeping it to yourself.

Contemplating how you were thinking at the time, helps us all.

I'm thankful you're not taking a u-turn.

congrats on 8 months !!!!!

Belier

Thanks Everyone, I hope posting is positive for some people, I kind of felt a bit hurt by the "why bother" comment and kind of felt that should have applied to them posting, but hey this is my first time of ever slipping up and I suppose everyone has opinions.

I can now see how some people may not come back when they have a slip and how important is for all of us in how we respond.

instant

Hey Ring
If we were talking about a "sip" of heroin, would any of this make sense?

pica

Thanks for posting Ring

Well, I've just joined this forum, having realised I was "developing a problem" and stopped drinking daily over a year ago. I didn't think I was an alcoholic but admitted that I was abusing alcohol.

Over the last year I have had occasional drinks with dinner, at restaurants, on special occasions. I thought I was ok. As Dee has said, it's insidious (perfect word for it!) that it creeps up. It was a false sense of security.

After all that time I had an alcoholic blackout earlier this week, and I only remember having two drinks. I have had two drinks a couple of times in the last year. I can't get over how little it took. When I "woke up" from the blackout it was like a slap in the face. I was SHOCKED.

I would have thought that a blackout wouldn't happen to someone who had been sober for so long, but obviously, I've done enough damage to my brain and body that it still happened. I'm just thankful that nothing "bad" happened, though I have lost 90% of the trust that I have built with my partner (and myself) over the last year.

I am an alcoholic. My tolerance is zero.

I hope things work out well for you and you don;t have to learn anythign the hard way!

saphira

I guess I would say that it seems like maybe you realize you shouldn't have taken a sip? Anyway, it sounds like you are aware of the risk and are determined not to go back to how things were. congrats on the sober time by the way!!
I will just add that my relapses always happened after being sober for awhile and then "trying" to drink normally again. I would only have one or two, the night would go really well, and I would convince myself that I could continue that. Never happened. After a couple of times I'd end up back where I started. I would just urge caution.