School starting...
 

Just feel like venting a bit today.....

School started yesterday - I am sure that many of you with kids are or are getting ready to go through the same...I have a 6 year old starting 1st grade, and a 4 year old starting a new daycare/school....They are both 3 hours away from me though, and it has been harder on me than I thought to be away from them on such a big day...That as well as some problems at work and with my boss...and also a girl that I dated last month decided to put a stop to that as well.....not a good Monday.

Today is Tuesday though, and I did not drink. Even though there were a few moments where that seemed like I good idea, I knew it was not the right thing to do....It really wasn't that hard all things considered.....I am having a hard time with all of the emotions that come with all of these things...Feeling them is such a new thing to those of us that have avoided them for so long...It becomes clearer to me everyday the idea of just not drinking - but learning how to live again without drinking...I am still having trouble with that one....

This site is very helpful to me. I don't participate all that much, but I am on quite often. It helps to cut the loneliness (if only for a while)...At times like this I tend to dwell on how much I have lost by my drinking - wife, kids, house, self respect, etc.....I know I will be fine, and that I will get through this - I will feel all of these emotions, and they will pass. They will make me stronger. Somewhere down the road is some balance that I have yet to find, but am anxious to get to......this is day 264 for me....

Thanks for listening.....

Howdy. Thanks for the post. School started out here in Northern Nevada Yesterday. I tpp lost my wife, kids, dogs, house, self-esteem, etc. Drunks seem to be careless in misplacing precious things. But I do have my recovery and on that foundation everything can rise from the ashes, not always in the way I would want but in the way that it is. At least I didn't lose my life, and in living all things are possible. I know for damn sure that picking up again will bring nothing back and just push everything further out of reach. My best to you and the kids. Hope they enjoy school/daycare.

Do you have a program to follow? Being on the wagon is great! I just want sobriety and Happiness, so I now have a design for living via AA. At 99 days, I can honestly say I AM happy.

I am grateful and I have hope. Today I am not beating myself up because of my past.

Peace & prayers to you

Hi and Welcome,

I have found that balance in my life is so important to my recovery. And, yes, knowing that your emotions don't control your life is a big step forward.

I'm glad you found us.

I'm really glad to hear you're doing well, being there for your kids, and moving forward musicman...even with the ups and downs of life :)

D

Hi, musicman. Good for you, staying on track. I'm a divorced parent too. My ex and I split four years ago, though I realize now I didn't fully deal with the emotional fallout until I quit drinking. It took time, but I can honestly say I'm at peace with it all. I still miss my daughter when she's with her mom... but that's because I love her, and I'm grateful to have someone I love enough to miss. :)

musicman - I've felt that way so many times. It took me quite awhile to stop grieving over what I'd lost, but I knew until I did I wouldn't be able to heal.

We really do have to learn to live again in a different way. Participating in life with eyes wide open & clearheaded is a bit shocking. It's obvious from the way you explained your feelings that you're healing and growing, though. So glad you shared those thoughts - thank you.

"Drunks seem to be careless in misplacing precious things."

Well said Fitz.....unfortunately, so true......

"It took me quite awhile to stop grieving over what I'd lost, but I knew until I did I wouldn't be able to heal."

Thanks Hevyn.....I think that sums up where I am right now pretty well....Not only do I have to grieve over what I have lost - I have to learn how to grieve as well.....