loudog430

I had gone a successful 40 days without alcohol (3 months ago). Over the past few weeks, I slowly let it back in my life. Over the past weekend, I was back to my old ways. An old friend from childhood visited me and we just let loose. No DUIs, no lost friendships, but just the horrific psychological and physical affects alcohol has on me. I could barely work on the little sleep I had, left early, lost money, ect

So I am starting over today.

What I would like to share and focus on, rather than the negatives of the past few weeks, are the positives of the month I had of sobriety (first time since I was 18, I am currently 24). I have never gone a whole month without alcohol in 6 years. Anyways, here is a few just bullets about my month, and how I plan to go another month, into a whole year, and hopefully lifetime without it.

That month I notice much better ability to focus on my life. While alcohol did not have have an enormous deterring affect on my life, it slowed me down in areas like fitness, health, and happiness. I could perform my job sufficiently, but not to my expectation. With that said, I tried harder at my job to perform at higher levels. I had more energy, slept better, worked out entirely much more. I was happier all around. I felt like a good 6-10 on a daily basis, as oppose to the past few days of a 2,3,4.

Things that helped me through all this we're as follows:
1) I have a big whiteboard in which I wrote an huge "1" for my first day without alcohol, and counted up as I go to remind me of my challenge.

2) I didn't make a huge deal with my friends about giving up alcohol. I just said "No thanks," when offered a drink. I even had the will power to just "take a sip," and by sip, I mean 1/20 of an ounce or whatever a sip maybe.

3) Again, if you have the willpower, I put myself in drinking situations. I went to bars, sporting events, ect with my friends. Face it, alcohol is everywhere, so I agreed to live around it. An enormous upside of this was I very happy to be a reliable DD for my friends.

4) Like cigarettes, I believe alcohol is formed from addiction plus the habit of having a beer in "x" situation. If you always have a beer after work, at the pool, with your buddies, you may need something to replace it for awhile. Non-Alcoholic beers don't fancy me, but Sparkling Water sure did. For now on, I am bringing a 6 pack of La Croix with me to the pool. And I will dont them like water, because that is what they are.

5) "He's not even drunk..." I actually enjoyed hearing this when I was out and about, having a good time. I would be out with my friends, and I would say something hilarious, or do something daring (legal and in good spirit of course) and people would say "He did that and he isn't even drinking!" I was proud to something that other wouldn't dare to do unless they had alcohol in them (ex: talk to women!). Be yourself!

Dee74

Hi Loudog
Welcome

I ran my programme along your lines for 20 years - no changes...same friends, same places to hang out...but just not drinking - it never worked for me I'm afraid, or not for very long...

I got really tired watching the action and not being ion it...the buzz I got from being the responsible one wore off pretty quick.

Those one off 'taste this' sips became the occasional drink, became the regular 6 pack again....eventually, every time, I was back where I'd left off.

I think most of us have found we need to make more changes than just not drinking.

I'm not trying to put you off - you're not me, and I hope that your plan works...

but I have to say - from reading your post - it sounds to me like the plan hasn't worked once already...

whats different this time?

D

artsoul

Welcome to the forum, loudog - Glad you've decide to quit. The experiments with moderation never worked for me either, not for very long anyway. I always wanted "just one more."

Keep reading and posting - you'll find lots of company here!

loudog430

Good point. It would seem I was unsuccessful because here I am.

Well, to clarify, by sipping, I think meant more of a "taste testing" when a friend would concoct some new cocktail. During the initial 40 days of no alcohol, I was actually turned off every time I "sipped" it. Anyways, after 40 days, I believed I could control my drinking, and starting having one or two maybe....once or twice a month. Eventually, I lost control. I had a lot over the weekend with a friend in town and we all just went at it.

What is different? Well, I cannot control alcohol, even after over 40 days of denying it from my system. I thought if I built up enough willpower over "x" amount of time, I could control it with that willpower. That is not true.

eJoshua

Hi loudog -- I'm 26 and I know what it's like to feel like the odd duck when everyone else is drinking and you're not.

All my relationships that were built around drinking, at least in part, have deteriorated in the last 6 months. I'm not one to do anything halfway, so when I finally got sober (for good) I changed EVERYTHING: friends, living situation, relationships. You know, you always hear people talk about starting over or starting fresh, but until you really do it you don't realize how terrifying and wonderful that can really be.

Anyways... I did try to get clean pretty much all last year by following a program similar to the one you describe. I told all my friends that I used to get drunk with that they could still get drunk and crazy and party and I'd just stay clean and we'd still have the same amount of fun.

It really wasn't any fun at all. I quickly realized that being the sober guy is fun or tolerable for a night or two, but after a while you realize that drunk people are just not all that fun to hang out with.

I'm still building my sober life right now, so I'm not sure how things will look for friends long term, but I do know that my new social circle has a radically different focus.

Just some random thoughts from my own experiences.... Best of luck to you in your efforts.

sugarbear1

Best wishes!