Tomorrow a week.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
Tomorrow a week.
Well some of you may know who I am by now. Since I've been onthis site 5 days straight. My higher power has shown his presence so far. I've done so much to myself when it comes to drinking that sometimes I wonder how everyone around me still can take me and support me. My parents have brought me back to the nest and placed me under their protective wings once again but with some resentments of course. Theres still much work to be done however. Even though I feel safe here once again, I've missed living at home for so long.
Anyways tomorrow will be a week of being sober for me once again. Thank god. Lately I haven't been able to maintain a month. When I did I was drinking again. I was starting to lose myself in that illusion that I could drink whenever I wanted to. I know everyone says in the end I must want to have a sober life and not do it for everyone else. It's just the fact that I owe my parents so much for taking me back that I feel I need to go by their rules. This isn't like before where I could just sit back and enjoy life. I have alot of work to do to prove myself. And I am striving to reach 1 year. but 1 day at a time right? I have to focus on today and today only. Tonight i'm going to an AA meeting with my father. As a deal and I want this for real.... I have to go to a mininum of 3 AA meetings a week but I feel i'm going to do more and they are happy I have that mind set. Since I only have 1 shift this week I feel Ic an't just sit around and go to 3 meetings. I have done 90 90 before And I feel I'm going to strive for that again since AA meetings are only a 10 min bike away from my house. I feel I have reached a new bottom in drinking. Drinking again only mean to drink until I don't wake up. Thats how close I felt last time. I was afraid to go to sleep. When it gets to that point I know its bad. Because I did doze off half a minute and I felt my heart slowing down. It was scary. I really do feel this is it. A brand new mindset! Ican do it this time around. I want to be me! Not drunken chris. Drunkard Chris is selfish, deceiving and lies alot. When I'm sober I care for others, draw, ride my bike, work and go to meetings and thats what I want. Sober Chris. Thanks for reading and I'll update as muc has possible
God Bless
Anyways tomorrow will be a week of being sober for me once again. Thank god. Lately I haven't been able to maintain a month. When I did I was drinking again. I was starting to lose myself in that illusion that I could drink whenever I wanted to. I know everyone says in the end I must want to have a sober life and not do it for everyone else. It's just the fact that I owe my parents so much for taking me back that I feel I need to go by their rules. This isn't like before where I could just sit back and enjoy life. I have alot of work to do to prove myself. And I am striving to reach 1 year. but 1 day at a time right? I have to focus on today and today only. Tonight i'm going to an AA meeting with my father. As a deal and I want this for real.... I have to go to a mininum of 3 AA meetings a week but I feel i'm going to do more and they are happy I have that mind set. Since I only have 1 shift this week I feel Ic an't just sit around and go to 3 meetings. I have done 90 90 before And I feel I'm going to strive for that again since AA meetings are only a 10 min bike away from my house. I feel I have reached a new bottom in drinking. Drinking again only mean to drink until I don't wake up. Thats how close I felt last time. I was afraid to go to sleep. When it gets to that point I know its bad. Because I did doze off half a minute and I felt my heart slowing down. It was scary. I really do feel this is it. A brand new mindset! Ican do it this time around. I want to be me! Not drunken chris. Drunkard Chris is selfish, deceiving and lies alot. When I'm sober I care for others, draw, ride my bike, work and go to meetings and thats what I want. Sober Chris. Thanks for reading and I'll update as muc has possible
God Bless
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 89
Obij--That's quite a story, but one that many can relate to I'm sure. Stay strong in your conviction. Sounds like your family is willing to help and support you. Set aside your pride, guilt or whatever and lean on them. Once you have some sober time under your belt you can begin to repair the damage with them. But for now...do the AA thing and anything else to keep from drinking. You can do it!!!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
When I started my AA steps...I switched from shakey sobriety into solid recovery...
Yes in my family...one is expected to follow the house rules as laid down by the person who owns the home.
I think that is only fair ..
Well done on your fresh start....
Yes in my family...one is expected to follow the house rules as laid down by the person who owns the home.
I think that is only fair ..
Well done on your fresh start....
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
Thanks you all. I've been told by my sponsor he can see and feel something has changed inside of me, he almost cried he can tell i've changed. I'm back to who I was. I think I missed home alot. I've been here and it feels right Thanks everyone I really appreciate this and I appreciate my family and my sponsor and AA AND my higher power
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