ljames103

One of the most embarrassing things about when I'm drinking is that I go on facebook and say stupid things. I just run my mouth and can't stop. The thing is, it all sounds like a great idea at the time, but every morning I wake up and wonder what I said the night before. Oh god...

I guess one obvious solution would be to stay off of facebook, but it's a huge part of my life. It's how I keep in touch with family and friends (most of whom are non-drinkers or at least moderate drinkers), so I would hate to disconnect because of my own embarrassment.

I've "accidentally" sent messages to old boyfriends (btw, I'm happily married), or even started debates or arguments that I wouldn't have otherwise. It's humiliating to go back and read these things.

I don't know... I guess I'm just venting a bit.

Dee74

It seems to be a common problem these days ljames...it's the modern equivalent to making a nuisance of yourself on USENET, or drink dialling, I guess.

I don't know there's any way around it if someone like me wanted to both stay on FB and drink...

I think the really obvious solution is to keep working hard on your recovery - no alcohol - no embarrassment

D

nandm

I am fortunate that when I was drinking facebook was pretty much non existent. I did do a lot of DUI's (Dialing Under the Influence) which were not too pretty. I actually fell asleep on the phone too many times. My sister and I were just laughing about it during her recent visit. Even when I would do that to her she still did not realize how bad my drinking really was. In our recent talks though she has come to appreciate that I am an alcoholic and have absolutely no business drinking. She is a normal drinker.

But I digress. What I have learned is that I did and said a lot of stupid and embarrassing things while drinking. Things I would not have done sober or at least I would hope not. I can not change those things that I have done. Therefore the only thing I can do is my best to avoid doing them in the future. I don't feel the need to explain to everyone that I embarrassed myself in front of them or the reason why I did it. I deal with it as it comes up. It was not until nearly 8 years into my sobriety before my sister and I spoke of my drinking and the insane things that she noticed when I was drinking. There are others who to this day I have not discussed it with but am open to it if they bring it up and want to talk about it. I don't feel I owe everyone an explanation and many would not understand if I tried to make them understand.

So don't let your embarrassment keep you from connecting with friends and family on facebook. Instead use it as a reminder of what happens when you drink. Use it as a way to show people how much you have changed by not having those behaviors show up through facebook anymore. You don't have to post a big message about how you are now sober and you regret things you have said or done. Unless you want to of course. Just be who you are and be thankful that you are not doing those things today.

But that is just my opinion and I am sure you will do what is right for you.

Soberpotamus

Unfortunately, I made a big fool of myself many times on FB. It sure sucks the next morning... waking up out of that haze, knowing somehow you said some weird s*** the night (or early morning) before to god-knows-who... for all the world to see. Bad, bad feeling.

All I can say is... just don't do it. Just don't drink, and if you do... try to stay off Facebook! Easier said than done, I know. I'd get through half a bottle of wine and onto Facebook I'd go... as fast as I could. It was such an entertaining way to spend the evening, so I thought at the time. It started out "ok" and just deteriorated quickly into some pretty horrendous conversations and chats.

You're definitely not alone, I can tell when some of my friends are drinking by the way they're typing on there. It's disgusting to me now... not very funny at all anymore. In fact, just today I finally unfriended a guy who was just toxically negative on my FB page... just couldn't allow him to keep it up anymore, now that I have my brain back!

Xander

lJames,

I, too, have made an ass of myself on FB while drunk. I've said things that might have cost me jobs (I'm a self-employed designer in a small world) and when I wake up the next afternoon and realize what I have done it's the worst feeling in the world. I'm waiting for a bed in a detox/rehab facility as I type this. My first ever true attempt at quitting this beast that has had control of me for 20+ years and I'm only 36 years old. I hope you find the strength to control the beast as I hope I am strong enough to do the same. Good luck and stay off FB when you're drunk!

XOXO

Xander

Snarf

I'm very familiar with drunk Facebooking, or drunk texting, or drunk dialing, or pretty much doing anything drunk. But yeah, I definitely feel your pain when it comes to the next-day embarrassment.

You say that one obvious solution would be to stay off of Facebook. In my opinion, the more obvious solution is to stay off the booze.

Since I've stopped drinking - surprise, surprise - I've experienced none of that embarrassment or shame or guilt or confusion about things I did the night before. I remember everything I did, and everything I did was done consciously and with purpose, since my mind wasn't swimming in a pool of alcohol all the time. This way is much better, I promise.

ajangel

I haven't made an ass out of myself on FB but I have posted things that didn't make too much sense. I woke up and deleted what I wrote. My thing was the phone calls. I've too have passed out while on the phone. I have also called a couple of my coworkers while drunk. Stay sober and you won't have to worry about it.

ajangel

Many a time my sister and I would get together and laugh about stupid drunk phone conversations. One time I woke up with bruises all over and she woke up with a busted tooth. Neither one of us remembered we got into a fist fight with each other. From what we were told, it took 2 big men to rip us apart. We laughed about it for weeks. She is an alcoholic too. I am glad I don't have to worry about that ever again.

soberviking

Oh yeah I'm no stranger to drunken facebooking.

Plenty of times I've written something I thought was deep and awesome sounding and wind up looking at it the next day and going "for f*cks sake!" and hitting delete.

Looking at chat logs and having no memory of chatting it up with them. Luckily I never typed in anything TO stupid.

And I'm a big fan of getting drunk and posting the same song over and over again becuase I think EVERYBODY MUST listen to it.

You're not alone. Facebooking while drunk is just as humiliating as drunk dialing. Or doing it the old fashion way and being out in public and acting foolish it in real time.

basias

Don't feel alone......my problem was e-mailing. I have gotten myself in soooo much trouble with the stupid and mean e-mails I have sent family and friends. I even sent a nasty e-mail to my previous boss during my last binge, he didn't even need to fire me.....I fired myself telling him I would not be back. That's pretty serious, I loved the job and have no idea why I would say the things I said. Just goes to show the insanity that goes along with drinking/and or using. Now I am paying the price, looking for a new job. But I think I might have learned a big lesson on this mistake, now is not the time to be looking for work with the economy and job shortage. I was always afraid to go to my computer after a binge, especially the "sent" file. It would always take me a day or two to get the courage to look at the things I said. Then I was always mortified and immediately had to start making amends. Some of my friends understood (but did not like it) and others turned me loose, even family members.

Don't have to do that stuff anymore as long as I remember the terror they caused. This site helps a lot because it keeps those memories fresh and makes me more determined than ever to work on my sobriety daily.

Thanks for the post, it helped me. Good luck and keep posting.

newwings

Ugh, I remember that! Sometimes it used to take me several attempts to type in my password...why I didn't stop there I don't know. It was usually a good indicator that if I had to try it more than twice, I was too drunk to be on there. I saw a comedy sketch once for a 'facebook breathalyzer', where it would deny you access according to your alcohol levels, and I thought it was the funniest thing I'd seen in ages. It's not funny, really....

I'd post all sorts of links to old tunes from YouTube, you could tell if it was 'one of those nights' because there'd be 30 odd links on one night. Ridiculous. I'd also have rants about my husband which my Mother in Law and his family would read. Even worse, they all live back in the UK so whilst I'd crash out in bed, they'd all have 8 hours to read it by the time I'd get up.

I am so glad I don't have any of that cr*p any more!!!

sugarbear1

If I don't drink today, I have a lesser chance of doing something I regret.

defyinggravity

Oh, man. Yeah I used to drunk facebook. Quitting drinking really helped with that. I used to have to leave myself notes on the computer screen: "DON'T comment on facebook, you are WASTED." before I would go out drinking. Ridiculous.

prayforstrength

I was the master of drunken facebook posts and the shameful deletion mission the following morning. I even had a friend ask me why my posts disappeared so often. Geez, what a mess I was.

Alas - no more of those shenanigans for me.

smacked

Ditto.

alphaomega

Holy Crikey. I was the Master of stupidity of drunk facebook posts. I actually had to delete myself - temporarily - from the utter shame and embarrasment I felt. I'm now deleted. People would tell me how profound my posts were. Little did they know I was smashed off my gourd while posting. I (((shudder))) at the very thought of it to this day.
What a badass I thought I was... BLEH.

Tangledweb

I am a facebook drunk and yes have said some very embarrassing things. Its lovely to know that I am not alone in my shame. Still facebook is luckily not taken seriously by many people. At least I no longer drunk dial people I used to do that a lot. Had to delete lots of numbers in the end as I had no self control.

SteppingItUp

Sure would explain something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. A guy friend I hadn't seen since junior high school put 17 comments and over 60 likes on my profile. Flattering? Or eek...

Zebra1275

I think that you know the solution to this issue.

The problem is one of execution. You know what not to do.

SteppingItUp

Right on, but maybe worse...since you basically just drunk dialed all of your friends, family, colleagues etc. at once.

Eek x 100.