chevygirl

i feel scared anbd unsure of myself anbd i just turned 53.....waiting on sos hearing date to get dl back after 3 dui 11 yrs ago....will i know how to drive a car......went to kid rock concert last friday ...drank....went to "my bar" after concert after being awol for about month.....glad to see everyone but one person said i could stay the night, i had to go home.....whammo mood changed dramacly....dont remember going home....my sonbn called me in am and said ask his wife why she's mad at me......wtf.....i didnt want to come home alone i guess.....just kept telling her she was being mean to me....now she says she doesnt support me driving again.......so sad and confused....my boss the owner of co wrote a great letter even after seeing me at my worst yrs ago.....dont want to let him down....,.,.confused .....can i afford insurance gas monthly bills still get by comfortably......take 2 buses to work and back home.....winter cant do that.......???????encouragement & advice needed.....cant go to aa meetings none close.....too tired when i get home....leave at 650am get home at 640 pm...,..is this all there is in life.....

nandm

I am sorry you are struggling so right now.

I wish I had some wonderful words of advice that would make things better but I do not.

My experience has been that I needed a program of recovery to help me find recovery. AA is not the only program out there. Here is a list of many of them: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html Some require meeting attendance some do not. The only one I am very familiar with is AA and it is the one that works for me but I realize that you are not able to get to meetings so it may not be the right one for you. I encourage you to check into the other programs out there. Keep posting here as well as SR is a wonderful support system.

Again I am sorry you are struggling so right now and do hope that things look up for you soon.

chevygirl

i am taking anti=depressant (prozac 40 mg 20 in amn 20 iun pm)just so unsure of myself at home.....i do accting at work and deal with alot of cash and balance daily. when i get home i lose it......will a car outside really make mne happy....or more sad....cause wont have no play money....but on other hand need transportation (car) to get home fronm work inb winter when its dark at 4 and i get off at 6....and downtown detroit...ughhh..use to get a ride home up til spring my work buddy got deminia and had to retire...everyone else lives east side.....i hate standing at bus stop while they drive by me......thats my evil twin sounding off......my mgrs has bveen my support....helping me with lawyer onbly 350.00 but still has doubts....thanks for letting me rant....no one else understands.....my bf said dont come over if i drink at baby shower tomnarrowk,,,,,,and i wont.....we go back to pre teen days....is that her way of supporting me.....she dfont like me when i drink and knows when ive had only one.......glad i found this site......but will find real people meetings when i get my car......by nov 1

Dee74

nandm gives some great advice chevygirl...but really it comes down to doing things differently - nothing changes if nothing changes. I found that out myself the hard way.

Sounds like alcohol is as destructive for you as it was for me.
The only way I know out of that destructive cycle is to stop drinking.

I believe supports very important for that.

If AA's your chosen method don't wait til November - ring the local office and see if you can get a lift to meetings

D

sugarbear1

I'm not in Detroit, but been on a bus since May 2009 (nonalcohol accident). My higher power was throwing rocks at me to get my attention. Today, 96 days sober and a different person. Neighbors puff puff passing outside and loud as I type this...today I don't want that.

Life gets better each passing sober day & saving for another vehicle.

AA helps me. Today I have HOPE I never had while picking up any mind altering substance or drink.