Hi my name is joel and i am a drug addict
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Miami FL
Posts: 4
Hi my name is joel and i am a drug addict
Today I find myself sitting alone in my house on a friday night on my 7th day of recovery craving chemical substances, so I decided to join this forum
This is my 6 or 7th time entering recovery from a polysubstance drug addiction with my drug of choice being marijuana, the difference with this time though is how serious I am taking my recovery. I got in trouble with the law and was put into drug court. Drug court in Miami means a year of outpatient therapy with drug tests twice a week. This was about 5 months ago. About 3 months ago i relapsed, disappeared from my program and subsequently was placed in jail for 5 days. I was released last Wednesday.
Those 5 days were the worst of my life, i wasn't abused, i wasn't assaulted, i didn't get into any fights, in fact I actually made friends in there. It was so bad because of the forced containment, plus coming off of the drugs, the boredom, the guilt, the embarrassment, and all that time with just your thoughts. That place is insanity and I never want to go back. I swore to myself that I will never go back and that swear is the foundation upon which I am rebuilding my trust within myself.
Having done the recovery thing numerous times my own way and having failed numerous times, I want to try something new, I want to be someone different. So here I am bored, alone, my thoughts stink at the moment and we all know what that leads to.
I look forward to using this site and the people I meet here
This is my 6 or 7th time entering recovery from a polysubstance drug addiction with my drug of choice being marijuana, the difference with this time though is how serious I am taking my recovery. I got in trouble with the law and was put into drug court. Drug court in Miami means a year of outpatient therapy with drug tests twice a week. This was about 5 months ago. About 3 months ago i relapsed, disappeared from my program and subsequently was placed in jail for 5 days. I was released last Wednesday.
Those 5 days were the worst of my life, i wasn't abused, i wasn't assaulted, i didn't get into any fights, in fact I actually made friends in there. It was so bad because of the forced containment, plus coming off of the drugs, the boredom, the guilt, the embarrassment, and all that time with just your thoughts. That place is insanity and I never want to go back. I swore to myself that I will never go back and that swear is the foundation upon which I am rebuilding my trust within myself.
Having done the recovery thing numerous times my own way and having failed numerous times, I want to try something new, I want to be someone different. So here I am bored, alone, my thoughts stink at the moment and we all know what that leads to.
I look forward to using this site and the people I meet here
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Joel, welcome to SR!
You sure came to the right place. I can totally relate: when I quit drinking, the boredom was so thick I could cut it with a knife. Those first few weeks I spent a lot of time here, and also getting exercise, watching movies, reading, and going for long drives (that turned out to be very cool actually, taking a drive late at night, no particular destination in mind). Basically anything to stay busy those first few weeks. Now, I'm never bored. Just... peaceful.
You sure came to the right place. I can totally relate: when I quit drinking, the boredom was so thick I could cut it with a knife. Those first few weeks I spent a lot of time here, and also getting exercise, watching movies, reading, and going for long drives (that turned out to be very cool actually, taking a drive late at night, no particular destination in mind). Basically anything to stay busy those first few weeks. Now, I'm never bored. Just... peaceful.
chevygirl
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: dearborn mi
Posts: 7
i know,,,,im home alone.....thinking about what i need to do, get my dl back after 11 yrs will i know how to drive....waiting on hearing date from sos.....mgr at work got me a lawyer to help me for only 350.00, owner of co i work for 13 yrs.....has seen me at my worst and now sees me doing better gave me a great letter....i am so worried of failing and letting these people down....i work at a new/used dealership and need there help getting a car...,..boss said get your license in your pocket first....,then well talk.....insurance plates gas....will that be all there is money for....no chump change for whatever...,...2 buses to & fro for 11 yrs has been tough, now im 53 and tired of being "one of them people"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Miami FL
Posts: 4
It's all a part of the process. This last relapse I completely withdrew from non using friends, lost some of them, got my phone disconnected, blew a lot of money and put myself into debt. Now comes the uphill climb and these are the consequences of my actions. I'm going to have to work hard and be very disciplined to fix this and fix it right.
That peaceful state is my goal.
That peaceful state is my goal.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi Joel
Support was very important to me staying quit - my main drugs of choice were alcohol and marijuana.
This place really helped me turn my life around - and gave me a few ideas too....I hope we can do the same for you
Welcome aboard!
D
Support was very important to me staying quit - my main drugs of choice were alcohol and marijuana.
This place really helped me turn my life around - and gave me a few ideas too....I hope we can do the same for you
Welcome aboard!
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome joel - I can relate about being "alone with your thoughts"...... 
I'm sorry you had to go through that experience, but you may look back on it someday as a good thing..... some people get wake-up calls and continue to ignore them.
Just coming here and knowing I wasn't alone was a huge help in getting sober. I know you'll find lots of support here, too. Keep it simple and take it one day at a time......
I'm sorry you had to go through that experience, but you may look back on it someday as a good thing..... some people get wake-up calls and continue to ignore them.
Just coming here and knowing I wasn't alone was a huge help in getting sober. I know you'll find lots of support here, too. Keep it simple and take it one day at a time......
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