Should have sooner, but trying now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 22
Should have sooner, but trying now.
This is my first real attempt at quitting alcohol and maintaining sobriety. I stopped for 10 days then drank again for 5 before this. It has been six days since my last drink. I am 33 years old and have drank since I was 16. I drank most nights of the past year since giving birth to my daughter. Before pregnancy, I drank near nightly for over 3 years. Prior to that I would binge drink off and on occasionally, rarely was I a moderate drinker. Still, I was in denial so deep that I couldn't see this was a problem. Not working a regular job since the baby and the many stresses of life- including my mother-in-law moving in with us before baby was born- made it too easy to self medicate constantly. There has been stupid fights and all, but I had to quit more bk I am tired of feeling like crap all the time and the booze just was not fun anymore at all. Was drinking alone most the time bk husband doesn't drink.
I was drinking 8-12 beers a night most nights. The first 2 days sober were full of weird anxiety and the nights were sleepless. I'm exercising and drinking tons of water. Feeling better each day and hoping to stay on good path. I can not afford a doctor visit or rehab so I am on my own there. Reading is helping a lot. So much to say, so much to ask. Here I am now though, 6 days in and hoping many more.
I was drinking 8-12 beers a night most nights. The first 2 days sober were full of weird anxiety and the nights were sleepless. I'm exercising and drinking tons of water. Feeling better each day and hoping to stay on good path. I can not afford a doctor visit or rehab so I am on my own there. Reading is helping a lot. So much to say, so much to ask. Here I am now though, 6 days in and hoping many more.
Beating this demon for GOOD
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
welcome!!! These boards are great, like "coming home" again, to me at least.
Someone actually posted that as a reply to my latest post, "welcome home" and it made me tear up (in a good way though, the tears have come hard and fast today, my "day one" once again).
Hang in there, and reach out here, we have all been where you are, and you CAN DO THIS!!!!
Hugs and congrats on six days of sobriety!!!
Someone actually posted that as a reply to my latest post, "welcome home" and it made me tear up (in a good way though, the tears have come hard and fast today, my "day one" once again).
Hang in there, and reach out here, we have all been where you are, and you CAN DO THIS!!!!
Hugs and congrats on six days of sobriety!!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
AMD - What good news - you sound very positive. I know what you mean when you say it wasn't fun anymore. I insisted it could be what it was in the beginning - an escape from reality. What I should have been doing is figuring out why I needed to have an escape. Getting numb every day kept everything on square one - nothing changed - I didn't grow or become the person I was meant to be.
Reading here and sharing what I was going through - even the bad stuff - saved my life. I was so alone before finding this place. Glad you have joined us.
Reading here and sharing what I was going through - even the bad stuff - saved my life. I was so alone before finding this place. Glad you have joined us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 22
I drank for fun, stress relief, boredom, habit. I haven't had any major health issues from it yet. I still can't believe I kept on as long as I did not accepting or admitting I was stuck in a vicious cycle. A few days is all it takes to feel much better, but I never went more than 1 or 2 days without. I am a smart person and feel so stupid. I've lost so much time and money that is just gone without even many "good times" to excuse my waste. Even knowing now the error of my ways and thoughts, knowing and accepting alcohol as poison- Will I fall back into the cycle. I'm not ignorant to my actions anymore and I must remain sober. I don't want to lose more life. I want to become the best me that I can be now.
to SR.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: CT
Posts: 181
AMD . . .welcome and great job on the 6 days. I am a little ahead of you with sobriety. The past few days have been really tough (for various and changing reasons). I've been hitting AA meetings, calling people, posting here - all of which helps.
In the end though, I was left with myself, my feelings, my emotions. I kept telling myself that 1 drink wouldn't help . . . and of course 12-24 or 36 would not be enough.
I didn't want my sobriety count to reset - just for me, not anyone else.
And I made it another day. You can too. One day at a time.
Well done and we're all glad you're here. Keep coming and letting us know how you're doing.
Stu
In the end though, I was left with myself, my feelings, my emotions. I kept telling myself that 1 drink wouldn't help . . . and of course 12-24 or 36 would not be enough.
I didn't want my sobriety count to reset - just for me, not anyone else.
And I made it another day. You can too. One day at a time.
Well done and we're all glad you're here. Keep coming and letting us know how you're doing.
Stu
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Welcome AMD,
I think it's normal to feel a lot of shame and guilt when we get a bit of perspective on how our drinking has affected our lives. But, don't let it drive you back into the cycle of self-medicating. I'm so glad that you have decided to stop drinking and that you're feeling a bit better.
I think it's normal to feel a lot of shame and guilt when we get a bit of perspective on how our drinking has affected our lives. But, don't let it drive you back into the cycle of self-medicating. I'm so glad that you have decided to stop drinking and that you're feeling a bit better.
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