725bygrace

So, do we abandon the old friends ... and try to find new friends who don't drink??

And if so, is there a time when we can return to the old friends???

sugarbear1

I have friends I used with because they support my decision and there is mutual respect. I don't push sobriety on them & they don't drink around me or come over high....

MycoolFitz

I think it depends on the quality of the friendships and situations. If I have friends who behave unhealthfully and seem vested in my unhealthiness I would probably not be comfortable nor enjoy their company. I can certainly have friends and family who drink, for example, but are respectful of my lifestyle choices. I can be around drinkers without the urge or desire to drink. I think that's an individual thing.

Anna

I think it depends upon whether the friends support your sobriety and respect you by not drinking when they're around you, until you feel ready.

bennybored

I think it really depends on the friends. If they support your decision then they care about you - if they don't it is probably because they don't want to acknowledge their own problems and those people are not good to be around because they will just try to bring you down to make themselves feel better. This is what I have noticed at least. But I've also been awesomely surprised at how many of my drinking buds have been so so supportive - so give them a chance and see how they react I guess is what I am saying.

sugarbear1

Needless to say, but there's less than a handful of people I hung with before. Were they real friends? I think not!

wheresthefun

I'm kind of lucky, I guess, being sort of anti-social.

My wife and I were each others drinking buddies. And, after my wife, I really only have one very close friend, and I can count on one hand the number of drinks he's had in his life, and I don't even need hands to count the number of times he's done drugs - ZERO. By the way, he's 43 years old and an ex-pro musician, like myself. He says he saw how people were in the bars he played in and it disgusted him, said he never wanted to be like them. I guess I missed that. :rotfxko

bonami

This. I am the friend and coworker of an RA who is about 2 months into his recovery. I care about him very much and want to support his decision to quit drinking and turn his life around in any way that I can. I had not heard anything from him during these past 2 months while he has been completing outpatient rehab, so I was a bit concerned that he was trying to distance himself from me. Thanks to the wise people at SR, I have learned that early recovery is very difficult, contains a lot of ups and downs, and takes more time than I ever thought. So I must say to all of you who are making this journey now: well done and keep going!

I finally did get a call from my friend yesterday, it was good to hear from him and he seems to be doing well. So you definitely need to give your current friends a chance; there are some who are probably just waiting to offer their support and encouragement, if you tell them how.

Mcribb

I only had a couple friends. One of them "Byrdman" respects my choice not to drink anymore. My old drinking buddies weren't really worth a crap in finding a new life. That just gets sorted out when you really want a new life of sobriety. You string together months of being sober you attract new people and the people who aren't your friends, or who can't even put enough effort to be your friend, hey fade away.

NYCDoglvr

Not all old friends ... only the ones who drink a lot around you. People, places and things that can lead you back to a drink.

camedown

I made sure to set boundaries with my old friends. The keepers are the ones who abide by them. They managed to sort themselves out real quickly.

Dee74

Most of the people I was hanging out with at the end were drinkers like me - all day everyday.

None of them wanted to live my new life, and I had no interest in theirs....so we parted ways...

I did reconnect with a lot of old friends tho - and made new ones - who support my lifestyle change, and respect it

D

725bygrace

I still feel like a newby and 3+ weeks of sobriety isn't very long at all. I have isolated - in a way - until I know that I will not be tempted if I'm out and about. Since my daughter's death I have a little social anxiety. I feel as though all eyes are on me and that discomfort could open to a relapse. So, either we go out by ourselves to new places - or we invite "safe" people into our home and entertain here.
I am returning to a place of honesty and simplicity - part of that is rediscovering the art of hospitality that includes good fellowship - without it being "just another excuse to party".
I like the comment that "the friends will sort themselves out". That is so very true. I see it happening in my life and welcome the change.
In time - perhaps the peace I discover in my own life will be an inspiration to old friends and acquaintances.