BodhiTree

Hi,

I know those of us newly sober sometimes struggle with what to tell people who ask why we're not drinking in social situations. I have my own lines I use, but I read one this morning from Alan Carr that I just had to share:

"I never drink when I'm sober."

Ha! I loved this one. :-)

Cheers and have a great sober Monday!!

ajangel

I love it.

Symmetry

Thank you! That's a good one!

sugarbear1

"Normal" people never asked me that question.

BodhiTree

sugarbear, I've had lots of normal people ask me that question, including people who don't even drink. I think it's natural to have some curiosity when someone changes a lifelong habit. If I had a friend who loved meat and I noticed him passing up a steak, I'd probably ask about it.

sugarbear1

Just sharing MY experience. I meant nonalcoholics. Not one ever questioned my choice not to drink.

BodhiTree

sugarbear, it's always interesting to see how different people have such different experiences. Thanks for sharing. :-)

Englishrose70

I love that!

I agree Sugarbear. I have noticed that only drinkers ask me why I am not drinking.

Social drinkers or non-drinkers have never asked and just accept my request for a soft drink or water when alcohol is being served.

I remember myself, with no doubt a skinful of wine inside me, asking a non-drinker why they werent drinking on many an occasion and I know why now. When they didnt drink it only served to highlight that I was and deep down I was envious of them not drinking and being totally fine about it. I have only recognised these feelings since being sober.

At the end of the day it really isnt a big deal in reality, only in our minds and it really isnt anyone elses business is it?

comanche

I was at a party Friday night when it came time to do some shots. I was talking to someone at the time and when I was offered a shot, a friend of mine said, "Oh, he can't contribute, he doesn't drink." The girl I was talking to said, "You don't drink?" I gave an excuse about having to drive that night. Later I regretted giving the excuse and realized that I probably should have just owned up to the fact that I don't drink. I don't know why it's still something that I feel like I have to be kind of ashamed of in my peer group (I'm in my mid twenties.) But I guess the important thing is that I didn't drink and got to drive home sober that night.

ajangel

I don't have to worry about that. Thanks to my boyfriend and alcohol, I don't have friends anymore. If people ask me about having a drink or mention alcohol, I tell them I don't drink. They do not think anything about it.

wheresthefun

Because I don't want to. And, if that's not good enough - FU. My choosing not to drink brings no harm to anyone or anything on this planet (cept for the liquor stores and manufacturers - sorry folks ). I do not care one iota what someone thinks about me based on whether I choose to drink or not.

Anna

Hmm, I became a vegetarian about 10 years ago, and I didn't expect anyone to question me about it. I felt that it was a very personal decision and I didn't really want to explain my motivation to people, especially to co-workers or people I didn't know well. I sure didn't want to go on about saving animals and sounding like I was some kind of crusader. Being a vegetarian was my quiet way of doing something for the greater good.

And, I felt that stopping drinking was a highly personal issue and something I was doing for myself. I had no desire to explain my situation to people. If someone offers me a drink, I say 'No, thanks'. If someone goes beyond that, and says 'Oh, you don't drink?', I just smile and let it go. After all, in my opinion, it's rude to make such a comment.

I also think that honesty is the cornerstone of recovery. And, as long as I'm not hurting someone's feelings and telling them their new haircut looks horrible, I try to be honest. I don't believe that a long list of excuses as to why you're not drinking is the way to go.

BodhiTree

I must just have really nosy friends. :-)

I honestly have no problems telling people why I'm not drinking. I'm a bit of a smart-mouth and I just thought this line was funny, which was why I posted it.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

ajangel

I always thought it would be funny to tell someone I can't drink because I was having a vasectomy in the morning.

BodhiTree

lpnangel, I love that one! :rotfxko

Englishrose70

Thanks for the line Bodhi Tree, defo worth sharing and because I am mischievous I will no doubt have to use it at some point!

lbern

I feel the same way right now. I'm also in my mid twenties and 99% of my friends drink...not all are alcoholics, but they pretty much all drink. It's really hard for me to have to say "no" to them. For example two nights ago, I was walking home and saw a couple friends out in front of a bar near my house...they were like, "oh come in and have a beer with us...we're just having one more then going home" and I was like, "no, I'm tired, just gonna head home and go to bed" and then they were like "come on, just one beer?" In my mind, I knew it wouldn't be just one beer. I ended up going home and not drinking...but it's social situations like you said, going to parties and whatnot where it can definitely get tricky.

ElvisInASkirt

"When I have even one drop of alcohol I start s*itti*g everywhere like the unholy marriage of Mount St Helens and Chernobyl"

That usually kills all conversation.

BodhiTree

LOL, Elvis! I can always count on you for a good line.

Phillyphan8811

"I usually end up someone's mom's bed... do you want that to be your mom?"