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New here! My name is Katelynne, I prefer Kate. I'm looking for help for my addiction (quite obviously) it is getting out of hand. I just turned nineteen years old & I've been heavily addicted to Xanax for over a year now. At first I started taking two at a time to make myself pass out, then eight would do the job. We're talking 1mg here. Now I can't even feel effects from it unless I take 18/22 at a time. Background: Last year my mother brother her hip. I wanted to be numb so I relied on an Xanax I could find. Both of my parents are prescribed them. I steal them from then & they are getting suspicious of me abusing the Xanax. My mom will give me one or two at a time to calm me down but that makes me want more; so I steal more to numb myself. I have Social Anxiety. Some more Mental Health issues, I'm positive. Xanax numbs me. I love it but I hate it so much. I can't even remember what I did yesterday. I'm hurting my mother because she needs them and I'm only taking them because I'm scared of withdrawal. When she runs out, I run out. Every month I go through laying in bed, sick. I can't move & I feel as if I am in another world. Xanax has become the love of my life but I need to let it go. As I write this now - I am high on 24 1mg Xanax. I want to go to rehab and fix this but I have no insurance. Please, please give me recommendations on what I should do. Should I admit my addiction to my parents? Should I look into rehab without insurance? We're on fixed income, we could never afford it. Are there other options. In January & February, I almost fell into a heavy Meth addiction as well. I realized I didn't need two addictions and dropped that as soon as possible. Now to just drop Xanax. . . I need help before I die. Thank you so much. All I can say is why did this happen to me. We all share the same pain, that's why I'm here. For support. |
Please be honest and seek medical help for getting off those pills! It's going to be ok! You can do it! |
I would also recommend getting medical help to ease off the xanax. Benzo addiction has some wicked withdrawals so best to get professional help to w/d safely. Welcome to SR!:hug: |
Some good advice here Kate. I would also recommend you seek professional medical advice :) welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of support here! :) D |
Welcome bokura! You will need to come clean to someone to get off the xanax. You are taking very high doses and will need a Professional to assist you. I also think looking into a rehab is a great idea. :welcome Best Wishes To You! |
Bokura, I'm going to be honest here. I honestly can't believe you are still alive taking that much Xanax. You, my friend, are a walking miracle in that respect. You cannot go on doing this and not lose your life. You have to take action TODAY! Go to your parents and tell them you need help and have them help you get to a doctor ASAP. I really think you should go to the ER! I'm 3+ years clean from an addiction to Xanax and I overdosed 3 times, the last time I was put on life support for a short time. I was taking 1/4 of what you are taking. At the most 10mg. Everyone is different in their tolerance, but you're playing with fire BIG TIME! Add on to your miracle that you haven't suffered a grand mal seizure during these withdrawal periods you talked about. There are low cost and no cost rehab options through the Salvation Army and any hospital could help you set that up, I believe. I'm terrified for you. You're so young, and I know you feel invincible, but this is going to take your life...it's just a matter of time. Get help!!!! I'll be praying for you and please PM me if I can help you in any way. |
Hi Kate. I'm very glad you found us and told your story. I also hope you'll look into rehab. You're going to need alot of support to get off the xanax & stay off it. You can't continue on this way, and I'm glad you realize that. I hope we'll hear from you again - please let us know how you are. We care about you. |
Wow, thank you all so much for the encouragement & advice you are throwing my way. I didn't expect people to actually try and help me out so I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will try out some of these suggestions. Once again: Thank you! |
:welcome to SR. You have been given some wonderful advice from those posting before me and rather than reiterate it I will just say glad you are here. |
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