Squizz

Just completed day 27, but man it was another tough one. I've been working midnights, and my sleep schedule is/was all messed up. It got so bad last night, that I even told one of my friends I was going to smoke some weed. I just didn't care. I wanted to do anything to stop the terrible anxiety, depression, and terrible headache I had.

BUT..........When the time came to actually follow through with my little plan........I just couldn't do it for some reason. Normally, when I get in that frame of mind, there's very little that can be done to stop me. Once I've got my mind made up that I'm drinking, using, gambling, or sleeping around, there's usually no turning back.

I don't know what the heck stopped me, but I can only attribute it to some sort of divine intervention. So instead, I went home, slept for an hour or so, and picked up another 24 hours of sobriety.

My headache is gone, but I woke up after an hour or so. So I decided to take a ride downtown in the city I live.

Now *that* was a sobering experience. Just seeing the endless insanity going on around there around 1am was enough to thank God endlessly that I didn't "just smoke a joint". Because that sort of chaos and insanity is EXACTLY where I would have ended back up.

So I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank all of you at SR, the good people I've met in (and out) of AA, and the God of my understanding. Without all of you, none of this would have been possible. And I surely would not have made it through another rough patch like last night.

I owe it all to you.

Dee74

I'm really glad whatever the reason Squizz

D

Squizz

Me too. As badly as I wanted to drink, use, or whatever......I just couldn't. I'm not gonna' question it though. I'm clearly right where I need to be. Somebody out there is looking out for me.

recoverywfaith

Amen on sobriety. Glad you are here and sober today!!

Anna

I'm glad you got through that, Squizz!

aidadeb

Congratulations Squizz,
That was a really difficult decision you made and a very good choice. I'm sure that you are going to make it. Keep up the good work...we are all here with you!

sugarbear1

Way to go!

Squizz

Oddly enough, *this* was my horoscope yesterday:

Saturday , Aug 13, 2011

"Restlessness, nervous haste, and rashness can be something of a problem, for you act on impulse and may be out of sync with your environment."

eJoshua

Congratulations!

We don't have to give in to our desires or cravings. They are just temporary feelings that will pass.

I'm so glad you decided to stay sober!

Missy7

Good for you Squizz. Don't we feel good today?

27 days! Look at that milestone coming up. No need to screw that up.

Healthyfood

Squizz

Well done you!!! For some reason Im very bored. I got through 5 days, relapsed and now on day 2. But so bored, I could just fell asleep from this boredom. I was active during the day, but still bored. Will it go away? You are on day 27 tell me please.

Squizz

I can assure you it will. Today I feel MUCH better. Don't exactly feel 100%, but it's been a much easier day than yesterday. I really think it was a biological thing that caused my irritability.

Hungry, angry, lonely, and tired must be avoided. I certainly was hungry, angry, and tired, that's for sure. I ate, that didn't help. I tried to sleep. Slept for an hour.

Sometimes, I guess we just gotta' tough things out. I'll be honest: I had to dig real deep into the tool box to overcome that obstacle last night.

But I did, and I'm going to a meeting a few minutes where I know I'll feel better.

I always keep telling myself this: "Matt, just tough it out until the next meeting, and make a decision after that."

And it seems to be working.

Thanks for all the support SR. I truly love and NEED you guys.

Squizz

That was a big part of it. Not to mention, I know it would just lead right back to the usual insanity. And staying sober this time around has been TOUGH. It's required much more work than in times past, but it's been well worth it. I'm not going to throw it all away because I don't feel well.

sugarbear1

It always gets more difficult. You did it!