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New Here Hi all! I have been lurking and finally decided to create an account. I have been drinking for about 5 years now. It started when my marriage imploded. Looking back it started as something to numb the pain of that. And to numb my loneliness. And then it became a habit. About a year ago the drinking was getting really bad. I would always start in the evening and I was putting away 1/2 of a large box of wine a night. I would start around 7 or 8 and stop at 11 or 12. I have managed to make it to work every day though so I decided everything was "fine." One of my dearest friends had gastric bypass about a year and a half ago. After losing all of her weight (and the ability to binge eat) she began drinking. In less than 9 months she has gone from one of my favorite people to someone on the brink of death. And she has scared the crap out of me! She has suddenly started wracking up dui's, public intoxications etc. She has lost her home, husband, children, job and sold everything she can get her hands on. Watching her has made me really see where this could all lead. I haven't had a drink since last night (Almost exactly 24 hours ago) and I am sitting here with my flushy cheeks trying to hold on. I attended one AA meeting last winter. I thought I should go. I bawled through the entire thing and haven't gone back. It was a small meeting (about 12 women) and when they realized it was my first time the meeting screeched to a halt and they all shared their experiences with me. It was terrifying and humbling and yet I felt so safe for that hour. I drink less now than I did a year ago so I am still playing with the notion in my head that maybe I am not a "real" alcoholic. But I guess denial is the beginning of the journey, right? -Carla |
Breaking through denial sure is. Welcome to SR. Only you (and perhaps a professional) can decide if you're a "real" alcoholic or a "fake" one. Whatever you decide and however you proceed I hope things work out for you. Thanks for posting. |
Welcome to SR! :wavey: Glad you are here. This is a great place to find support. You are not alone. Meetings can be uncomfortable at first. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect. Here at SR you will find that some members go to AA while others do not. It is a personal choice. Some members just come here for support. Personally I enjoy going to my outside meetings--which include a variety of groups like AA, NA and Celebrate Recovery in addition to coming here to SR. Recovery is a process. The main thing for me was that I had to get honest with myself about my drinking and then find others that could help me. I wasn't able to stop drinking on my own. In fact, I could relate to what you posted about your friend and how far advanced her alcoholism had become. I felt hopeless at one time, but today I have hope. SR, plus other outside programs, had alot to do with that. Hope to hear more from you soon. We do recover. |
welcome carla77! SR has been great for me and I hope you too! |
:welcome to SR. |
Welcome to SR!!! I abused alcohol then opiates, lost a career and still had a lot of denial going on. I then discovered crack, which took me to my bottom. Not everyone changes around DOCs (drugs of choice) but most of us do have a point where we question if we're "really that bad?" That's where SR has been a big help to me, reading other people's stories, finding the similarities despite what the DOC is helped me break through my denial. I also advise you to see a dr. and be honest about how much you drink. Everyone's bodies are different, in how they deal with withdrawal and it can be fatal. I was a nurse, trust me..dr's have heard it all and they can't help you if you're not honest. Hugs and prayers, Amy There is a lot of f2f support out there, and maybe going back to that meeting might help? |
welcome Carla :) D |
Welcome to SR. I hope you find the help you're seeking! |
Hello. I wanted to say welcome as well. I went through the denial really hard but I eventually got through it and came to terms with what I am. Acceptance seemed to help me in my recovery more than anything else. I also wanted to say that I understand completely about your friend. I also had gastric bypass in 2005. I lost all my excess weight and about a year and a half after surgery I started drinking and gaining my weight back (not all of it though, thank goodness). Unfortunately those of us who have had gastric bypass experience alcohol in a whole new light. My reactions to alcohol since my surgery have been terrifying to look back on now but very different from before my surgery. I hope that helps a little and I hope your friend works through things as well. If you ever want to talk further about it, just drop me a line. Again, welcome. J |
Welcome home! |
Welcome! You are not alone anymore. |
I *heart* you for caring enough to send me here. Love T |
Welcome!!! There are so many of us yet we share the same problem! You are not alone and here you can be 110% honest! ;) |
Hi Carla and welcome. I think if you read more here you'll see that there's a lot of us here with a story similar to yours. The best post I read (and I forgot who posted it) was: I've never met an alcoholic that wasn't high functioning and I never met a non-alcoholic that drank every night. I stared at that post for a long time. I was a nightly drinker for 6-7 years. Started in my 40s. 4 wonderful kids, married, great career and I will never be able to drink "normally". Came to that revaltion With the help of this forum. Actually it's a relief that I now know what I have to do. I hope (sincerely hope) that you don't drink tonight, or tomorrow or the next day. Maybe set a timeframe. Like 30 days to give your mind some time to be clear to think about your drinking and what it offers you. For me it was getting to be much more trouble than it was worth. I also hope your friend gets help. Her story also sounds so sad. Come join the November 2011 class. There's plenty of room! Terri |
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