mandinka

Hi everyone... I have a problem with alcohol. I really want to give up. Its got to the point where im just hurting everyone and being a total embarrsment to myself and people around me. Ive always liked to drink but now i go to extremes like this weekend for example i drank Friday night, slept a bit got up and drank from 8am til i left a club at 2am. I am seeing a guy who i really upset yesterday and he now says he has no respect for me anymore, Im going to end up losing him and i have 3 young children who depend on me so i really need to sort it out. The kids stay at their dads from friday til sunday and thats when the drinking gets totally out of control. Now i even drink during the week in the evenings and sadly by myself alot of the time. I am a total mess, I just seem to have no control over the amounts im drinking i could easily drink a bottle of brandy to myself then go out clubbing and have about 10 drinks more, but without drinking i cant go out because its like ive got no confidence. Im so angry with myself so now im here otherwise if im honest im going to die very young.

sugarbear1

You can do this! Welcome!!!!

Elisabeth888

Hey and welcome!

You recognize that there is a problem and that is the first step. Now you can decide what you want to do about it and you have many options. SR is extremely supportive and I know you will find it and the people supportive.

I waited to get into a variety of forms of trouble before I addressed my alcoholism. You could start by going to your doctor or a therapist and discussing it with them. That is what I did.

For me, talking and posting here with other people that have this disease helps tremendously.

recoverywfaith

to SR.


Very glad you are making the decision to get sober. Have you considered AA as well to help you achieve and maintain sobriety? The below AA big book has AA successful recovery stories and describes alcoholism:

Big Book Online Fourth Edition
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc

Hevyn

Hi Mandinka! You just described me when I finally decided I had to stop. Except - I was much older. At least you've come to this conclusion now & you can turn everything around before your life is total chaos. I think you should be proud of that.

You can definitely leave the drinking lifestyle behind and find a whole new life. One where your behavior is no longer unpredictable or dangerous. I almost lost my life insisting I could use willpower to control what I drank. In the end there was no telling what would happen when I took that first drink.

I know you can do this - and we're happy to have you here with us so you can talk about your feelings. Knowing you're not alone should help alot. Keep on posting & let us know how you're doing.

Missy7

I can see how it would be hard to stop drinking once the kids are dropped off. So you need to have a plan. You need to know what you are going to do right after you drop them off and then each couple of hours through the weekend.

That's how I get in trouble--idle time. So do you have hobbies you love?

Have you thought about AA? I fought it a long time, but have just started and it's going to be really helpful. You could drop the kids off and go straight to a meeting. Then maybe someone would have a dinner plan you could join.

The meetings aren't so scary--just sit and listen.

artsoul

Welcome mandinka -

I became a nightly drinker too, and being a single mom, I know how the guilt, depression and pressure just adds up. Alcohol was the only thing I felt I had to look forward to.

When I came here I was so scared and ashamed. What a relief to find that others had been there too and found sobriety.

I had to focus on take it one day (one hour, one minute) at a time. The first step is making sure you get the alcohol out of your system safely. We're here to help and cheer you on. Things really do get better.......:ghug3

least

Welcome to the family. It DOES get better if you just stay sober.

mandinka

Thankyou everyone for the lovely welcome. Im looking forward to getting to know you all. I have been looking for a local aa but it seems to be only evening which is very difficault for me due to childcare and where im living at the moment i dont know anyone i left my home town 5 months ago. I do attend stepping stones but its more of a catch up with friends than to actually help you deal with your issues so i would really like to try aa. I was reading about having to take medication when quiting, does that go for me too? I do shake and feel just strange (just like i dont have much control over things like my hands) after ive been drinking. Also if i havent been drinking i cant sleep properly, i will get up loads during the night.

artsoul

Since everyone is different, it's hard to predict if you'll have any problems detoxing. That's why everyone here recommends seeing a doctor, just to be safe.

I'm not in AA currently, but highly recommend it if you've never been. There's nothing like being around people who are just like us...... I believe there are online meetings, and you can also read the "Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous" online. Sorry I don't have those links, but others will be along that know more about that.

I'm sure it all seems like a tall order right now, but eventually you might want to find a babysitter too. Be patient with the process, keep searching, and it will fall into place. :ghug3

artsoul

p.s. insomnia is a "normal" (although very annoying) part of the early recovery process. It took about a week for it to get better (your mileage may vary).....