recovered addict who is with a controlling bf who has drinking prob.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: los angeles,ca
Posts: 1
recovered addict who is with a controlling bf who has drinking prob.
Im new here. I've been clean for six years going on seven. I found myself with a boyfriend who likes to drink on weekends and has no self control. He is aggressive not abusive... And controlling. Im six months pregnant and stuck in a cycle. Im breaking from enabling him but he doesn't respect me when I tell him to stop doing things. ND he shuts me out. Im tired of crying. I am trying to be supportive but.. I need to build myself again. I was married to an addict in 07 divorced in 09... N now I'm in an unstable situation again. Now I realize I had choices I didn't know before. I feel lonley..
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
welcome to SR 
I absolutely agree you need to look out for your own welfare, flor.
Our Family and Friends forums have a lot of useful information for situations like this - e.g.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...out-abuse.html
D
I absolutely agree you need to look out for your own welfare, flor.
Our Family and Friends forums have a lot of useful information for situations like this - e.g.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...out-abuse.html
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
flor ---
I cast my vote with the rest re: abuse help.
Elsewhere in your OP, a couple of things caught my eye......:
1) "...he doesn't respect me when I tell him to stop doing things...I am trying to be supportive but..." ---two things here; controlling vs. support/enabling
2) "...I was married to an addict in 07 divorced in 09... N now I'm in an unstable situation again..." ---this is very common.
Both of these points are good reasons why folks should attend, and continue to attend even when out of the 'qualifying' relationships, groups such as alanon, naranon. coda, etc. Lots of times folks will stop going when his/her qualifier is no longer in his/her life. As you have learned, you seem to continue picking the 'wrong' ones. Our 'pickers' were broke, and we need to continue along in recovery, learning how to fix our 'pickers.'
(o:
NoelleR
I cast my vote with the rest re: abuse help.
Elsewhere in your OP, a couple of things caught my eye......:
1) "...he doesn't respect me when I tell him to stop doing things...I am trying to be supportive but..." ---two things here; controlling vs. support/enabling
2) "...I was married to an addict in 07 divorced in 09... N now I'm in an unstable situation again..." ---this is very common.
Both of these points are good reasons why folks should attend, and continue to attend even when out of the 'qualifying' relationships, groups such as alanon, naranon. coda, etc. Lots of times folks will stop going when his/her qualifier is no longer in his/her life. As you have learned, you seem to continue picking the 'wrong' ones. Our 'pickers' were broke, and we need to continue along in recovery, learning how to fix our 'pickers.'
(o:
NoelleR
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
OP, can you go into detail about weekend drinking and your argument with your boyfriend. No self control and drinking on weekends means what? Does he go out to bars with friends and drinks or goes on benders and drinks until he pass out? When you argue with your boyfriend do you fight with fist or its an yelling match?
Maybe its just me but from what i red is that you and your boyfriend has 2 different lifestyles. It seem like your still in recovery and can't deal with anyone who drinks and have some time of controlling issues and the pregnancy your having is giving you some of these thoughs.
Maybe its just me but from what i red is that you and your boyfriend has 2 different lifestyles. It seem like your still in recovery and can't deal with anyone who drinks and have some time of controlling issues and the pregnancy your having is giving you some of these thoughs.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Originally Posted by Dee74 
There's no reason for anyone to go into anymore detail if they don't want to
D
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
I agree with above about shelters if this is appropriate.
I have gotten a lot of experience, strength and hope from Al-Anon. It has helped me to understand what is mine in the relationship with a loved one with a drinking problem.
Good luck and thinking of you.
I have gotten a lot of experience, strength and hope from Al-Anon. It has helped me to understand what is mine in the relationship with a loved one with a drinking problem.
Good luck and thinking of you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
