Found a good meeting
 

Not a women's meeting, but I think that's okay.

I found a group that meets most days at a good time. I went today and really felt okay. I am surprised, when I talked, about how shattered I really am, but I think I'll be safe there.

So, I'm doing thirty in thirty. This is 1.

I do have to address the religiousness--this group does function on a religious basis. My own religious underpinnings are pretty individualistic so I can get into it. I've known the Serenity Prayer since my father kept falling in and out of AA when I was a child, and I have always loved the Lord's Prayer, so, I can hang...

I see why it's important to attend multiple meetings. I see why it's necessary to repeat the process.

I am scared that it will still be necessary in twenty years. It's like getting married all over again.

Missy, I'm glad you're working on your recovery and moving forward!

I have incorporated recovery into my daily life in a way that works for me. It's not a chore, it's the fabric of my life. Hopefully you will find a recovery routine that feels comfortable and works for you in the long term.

i, too, was hung up on the Christian underpinnings of AA. That was a decade ago. I guess there is something to be said about hitting bottoms.

Today, with 10 months, not 10 years, of sobriety, I embrace the spiritual aspect of the program. And I've learned there is a big difference between "religious" and "spirituality."

I hope you discover the difference, too.

And I find that those who have 20 years of AA attendance live amazing lives. I hope I become one of them.

I am scared that it will still be necessary in twenty years. It's like getting married all over again.

I know many people with 15, 20 or 30+ years of sobriety who love to go to a few meetings a week. It seems that not only does it keep them sober, but they take great pleasure in helping the newcomers find a solution. I guess for them, it's their way of giving back (12th Step).

They also enjoy coming to meetings after so many years because they see many friends there.

That's how I found my Spiritual Advisor who has a spiritual advisor who is helping me incorporate the steps in my life...

GO YOU! I like the mixed meetings. I enjoy the women's too but I find a mans perspective and experience very helpful.

Missy - I will be 1 yr. sober next week. My first couple of months I went to AA and found it very helpful mostly to help break my routine - what to do at 5:00 or 6:00. It was also great to be able to share with others who understood and had been where I was. I walked to meetings and took my dog and soon found just getting out and back into a routine of walking the dog was very helpful and therapeutic. Although AA was important - even critical to those first few months, I gradually stopped going as I began to find other healthy activities to build my routine around.

What I found most daunting at AA wasn't people who had 5, 10, 25 yrs. sober (althouth that was pretty amazing) but that many had been attending AA all those years!! That scared me and I asked many why they kept going - were they afraid they would drink again. Most said not due to fear of drinking but some said it was a good reminder and also they wanted to help others. But what I came to understand is that for these people it is about affiliation - similiar to why people go to church but AA doesn't hang with a specific religion. They find continued support and become close as a group who share things in common - esp. one important thing.

But for me I couldn't see myself forming a longterm affiliation with AA (some parts I had trouble getting on board with) so my thought was that I needed to build or re-build my own outside affiliations with others and groups around my common interests etc. - leaving drinking behind. It actually seemed easier to just keep going to AA - everyone was so welcoming and understood where I was at and said not to worry about anything but coming back to meetings. I found it much harder to rejoin life and other activities sooner rather than later - activities not centered around drinking or recovery (AA). But this is for each person to decide what fits and what works. If it is working - stay with it!! Ofcourse people who remain in AA also have other activities (I am not suggesting they don't because they choose to have AA in their lives) - I just wanted to put my energies outside of work to other activities (as long as I didn't need AA to remain sober).

Looking back I wish people in the AA groups I attended had articulated a program using AA the way I did without so much focus on coming back indefinately because AA was very helpful to me but I had to figure it out myself because I wasn't taking the suggested route - but no one had other suggested paths for me. I realize people say to work your own program but the only one discussed was to keep coming back.

Again, AA was a critical component in my first months and I'm so glad I went and glad I found my own path that for me does not involve long-term affiliation with AA. But each person will find their own way with this and everyone should at least give it a fair try.

You know sometimes I think about still attending meetings in 5, 10, 15 ... Years later. In fact I was just looking at an announcement book with the upcoming sober birthdays last meeting I was at... And wondered, felt kinda funny about it... I know what you are feeling.

I like meetings. I don't go every day, or even every other day. But I go regularly. When I get that feeling about what I will be doing down the road, I just stay in the day. I am at the meeting I am at at that moment. What happens tomorrow, or next year, happens then. I will feel like I will when the time comes.

One day at a time.

:)

I'd rather go to a meeting than be alone, drinking, again.

I'd have to agree with SweetCityWomen...although I am forever indebted for the compassion, caring, welcoming and openess of my AA friends I can foresee that I may not go weekly or even monthly. My home group meets on Thursdays and upon starting my new job 4 months ago I had that day off. Now that I'm promoted, my schedule will change and I will work Thursday evenings. But that's ok...I have formed a bond and togetherness with my homies and I know they are always there for me and I for them. I just won't be able to sit around the table with them.
Two men have been sober for over 25 years and they keep going for 2 reasons...1) to keep the meetings alive and going and 2)so they don't drink.
The town I work in has meetings on other nights. When the time is right I may venture into a new group. But right now I am comfortable with where I am, working full time, no desires or cravings or even an inkling of booze in my head -except what I read/write here. This keeps me grounded.
You have to know in your heart where you want to be, get there and grow new roots, new habits. I am more in control of my life right now than I've ever been since I was born. I got this.
Go to meetings and just take in what you can. Absorb it. Live it. Then reflect on where you want to be and what it all means to you.
Good Luck and keep coming back.

Are you working the steps with someone who is also working them? That is the living part....

I am not yet working the steps with anyone. I am waiting to watch the group and approach someone to sponsor. I guess that's how it happens.

I liked it a lot more than I expected, and then I spent Saturday night at the pinochle table with my fam drinking beer and I drank tons of coffee and was definitely the official cut up. Go me. My daughter is learning to make me coffee rather than drinks, and it's going to be okay.

It's going to be okay.

I probably won't get to a meeting today (Sunday). My best Sundays are spent wandering around town with hubby shopping for things we don't want or going to estate sales. This behavior has traditionally included going to bars but that's out from now on.

It's hard to say it's over forever. But I know I need to keep saying it until it's not hard anymore.

I feel stable. I'm scared. I'm not scared about going to the meetings in twenty years, I'm scared that those people who have been feel anything like I do now. That's what scares me.

I bought the big book. Will begin reading a chapter a morning tomorrow. Hope it's good--I'm a lit teacher and kinda critical. Can't help it. I imagine a good carpet layer would be disappointed in my carpet--same thing.

Two meetings tomorrow. Back to home meeting at noon, women's meeting at 6:30.

There it is. I've begun.

So don't say it's over forever. Say it's over for today. Then tomorrow do it again. I found after a few months of living one day at a time and working my program that the idea of not drinking ever again doesn't sound daunting or unrealistic, mostly because I don't want to ever drink again.

I didn't stay sober until 'forever' felt like a relief. Although I know that's not essential by any means, it sure made things easier.