ADaisyifyoudo

So, I am having a terrible day today. I was planning to use today to run a ton of errands for a huge party I am having next weekend. It's my husband's 40th birthday and my daughter's 4th. We're having a swim party at the river in the afternoon for the kids and then a barbecue at our house in the afternoon and evening for everyone.

It's not like it's a big booze-fest we have planned, there will be lots of kids there and plenty of non-alcoholic beverages. But we're ordering a keg and I'm supposed to go pick up a ton of wine (I need to skip providing booze, since that was always my drink of choice), plus cups, plates, snacks, etc.

I'm getting my favorite kind of cake for the party and there will be lots of food that I like there, but I am trying to lose some weight (added about 10 pounds when I quit drinking, go figure, where the hell did all those extra calories go when I was drinking?) so it's not like I want to stuff my face either (especially with a swim party component).

Bottom line: I don't want to go to my own party. It's making me cry just sitting here thinking about it. All my friends will be there and I don't want to go. Much less spend a ton of time and money planning and throwing it. WTF? I sent out the invites 10 weeks ago and my hubby even has family coming from Italy (not specifically for the party but in the states and coming to see him). It's not like I can cancel and it seems like a bad show to go somewhere else for the weekend (where? all my friends will be here?).

And I can't skip my kid's birthday! Presents and cake and screaming 4 year olds everywhere, right? And of course she just came in and asked why I was crying and I told her I was worried about the party and she says "but I want you to come to the party and have fun with me."

I don't even want to drink anymore, that's the irony of it. I just honestly don't want to have to grin and pretend to have a good time at my own party when I am just secretly waiting for everyone to leave so I can clean up and it can be over.

alchy

Well, being your party I'm sure you will be more than busy keeping things running smooth so that should keep your mind occupied. When you do stop for a bit do it near non drinking folks. I find it helps me a lot just seeing one other person there not drinking.
But yeah, it'd be best if someone else picked up the booze at the very least.

ajangel

I would probably the same way if I were in your position. All those people being there would stress me out right now. Even though I don't feel like drinking, it would probably upset me that I "couldn't" drink. Kind of a final realization that I am an alcoholic. It is hard to admit defeat. Hang in there. Keep yourself busy. Try to focus on the joy you are bringing to your husband and child. I get great joy seeing someone smiling and happy. Especially if I had a part in it.

alchy

And to add to my previous post..... the couple times I've been in family drinking situations it was hard at first. But then as the night went on I realized that I was still clear headed at the point I would normally be worried I'm starting to slur. I would be looking for oppertunities to sneak away for that extra drink. As the night went on it was still hard but kind of sweet too because none of my usual worries were there around my obsession for alcohol. Just that I can't pick up that first drink. Which was in some ways easier than all the usual worries about satisfying my obsession and addiction without passing out and making a fool of myself.

Missy7

When I have succeeded at not drinking on drinking occasions, I did a couple of things. I did not discuss it at length. And I always kept a drink in my hand and full. Ginger ale is good as is green tea. They are both sophisticated and interesting. You can only drink so much pop.

But I think it's important to have something to say if someone asks. Say you have a headache. You're on a new medication. You're on a diet. Practice a line but no one will ask. No one cares. More for them.

You will have so much more fun at the party without drinking. Heck, I went to karaoke last night and didn't drink. Around 12:30 I really wanted to stay for another round of songs, but knew we should get to sleep. That's another thing--I'm the one who can't leave the party. Being sober really helps that.

I'm not the best at staying quit, but I read this site every single day. There are plenty of times when someone comes on and says that they slipped up at a party last night. However, there are more who say that made it through sober and that they had a great time. It is very rare to see someone say they made it sober and it sucked. You can do it.

Dee74

I sympathise aDaisy - organising and hosting a big party - two big parties - must be a big undertaking and I completely understand you not being enthused by the idea.

It's a bit out of my skills set, so I'll leave it to others to suggest ways you can help make everything run smoothly...

I do know tho that every occasion I was worried about beforehand, I found I really didn't have much time to ponder when it was actually happening....

D