Hi all and thanks for the understanding last night!
Hi all and thanks for the understanding last night!
I told my sponsor and a close friend from AA about my relapse. It's hard because I just don't want to go to the meeting tonight and talk about it but I have to. My AA Sister is going to go for coffee with me before the meeting to kinda chill me out and help.
My sponsor told me I have to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Ummmm I don't know how that exactly is going to work for me since I also see a Psychiatrist and Psychologist, not to mention my regular doctors and a full time job. But she told me "no excuses." I didn't respond to that. I will go to as many as I can but I just don't think that's realistic.
A lot of what was said (typed) to me last night from some of you was heart warming and got me through the evening. I really felt alone and defective, I guess i still do. I sometimes wonder if I have a self distruct gene that I can't shake. I've battled so much and I'm just trying not to get tired. I'm always fighting something. This isn't how I want my life to be darn it!!!!
My sponsor told me I have to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Ummmm I don't know how that exactly is going to work for me since I also see a Psychiatrist and Psychologist, not to mention my regular doctors and a full time job. But she told me "no excuses." I didn't respond to that. I will go to as many as I can but I just don't think that's realistic.
A lot of what was said (typed) to me last night from some of you was heart warming and got me through the evening. I really felt alone and defective, I guess i still do. I sometimes wonder if I have a self distruct gene that I can't shake. I've battled so much and I'm just trying not to get tired. I'm always fighting something. This isn't how I want my life to be darn it!!!!
Ugh, I hated going back this last time. It was humbling and it sucked, but I am glad I went, picked up the white chip and shared.
After relapsing a kajillion times I am finally listening to my sponsor and doing 90 in 90. My way clearly was not working. I am on day 66 today.
Good for you for going back to AA. Some people stay out a long time or never return.
Hang in there!!
After relapsing a kajillion times I am finally listening to my sponsor and doing 90 in 90. My way clearly was not working. I am on day 66 today.
Good for you for going back to AA. Some people stay out a long time or never return.
Hang in there!!
I never did 90 in 90. I tried, pathetically, last spring. It didn't turn out too well.
I think it's a great idea though. If you're like me, dedicating 1 hour to sobriety per day for three months is nothing compared to the time you dedicated to drinking every day. But then again, maybe you're not like me.
Best of luck in your recovery! I'm glad you got back on and are fighting for your life again.
I think it's a great idea though. If you're like me, dedicating 1 hour to sobriety per day for three months is nothing compared to the time you dedicated to drinking every day. But then again, maybe you're not like me.
Best of luck in your recovery! I'm glad you got back on and are fighting for your life again.
I think I'll probably do a couple on the weekends. That's basically a difficult time for me anyway. I just hope I don't get impatient with hearing the same people talk too much. I will do whatever I have to to stay alive!!!!
My meeting was cancelled after that drive. And I'm having trouble finding a women's meeting on Saturday up here. I might have to go hang out with men.
I guess I have hung out with plenty of men in bars...
I guess I have hung out with plenty of men in bars...
Missy, one thing I'm not particularly fond of when it comes to AA is how disorganized some of the chapters can be. It doesn't sound like you let it get you down! I also wonder why they make it so hard to make sure some of the meetings are still current. Just because we are anonymous doesn't mean mean everything has to be so cryptic. It's bad enough when it's your first meeting but to go and find out it's not there? It happens all the time! But when you're desperate for help you'll figure it out.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
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I missed your other thread, wasn't here at the time, but taking this from it
Who are you getting sober for? For yourself or because you feel you must do it to keep someone else happy? I found when I tried that, I ultimately felt resentment towards those who were 'stopping me' from my lifestyle.
Sobriety began to work for me when I realized it came down to me and it was something I wanted to do for my own benefit, selfish as that sounds (it's not really).
Don't know how to break it to my sponsor. My husband made me mad because he asked about it. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. Two feelings I like to avoid at any cost.
Sobriety began to work for me when I realized it came down to me and it was something I wanted to do for my own benefit, selfish as that sounds (it's not really).
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