Living in the light
 

What's up sober alcoholics... Well today I had a big work outing. I took my top prospect and spent the day with her and a bunch of other people from work. We did some skeet shooting (first time for me). After the outing we had a big cookout. Hamburgers, hot dogs, and a ton of beer. My customer had one beer and then switched to diet coke. I'd say about half of the others had a beer and the other half did not. I did not drink, I just had a diet coke.

What I noticed was the freedom I felt by just being the moment. I had such a good time. I have such a sense of optimism when I don't drink. It's been 8 days now and I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin now since I got back into recovery.

It's crazy to think that a 12 oz can of beer to some means letting lose a little and relaxing, but to me a 12 oz can of beer means, another, and another, and another, then worrying that I may slur my words a little, then worrying that I'm drinking more than the others, then worrying about the drive home, then stopping by a bar on the way home, then worrying about lying to my wife and telling her that the event ran long - NOT that I went to a bar alone, the worrying that I'm going to have to drink more when I get home, then worrying about how I'm going to be able to face another day tomorrow since I drank so much... and on and on and on and on....

Alcohol = anxiety, guilt, and then shame.

After my outing I picked up my 1 year old from daycare, met my wife and sister for a nice dinner at the golf course, and just enjoyed the night.

I really think this time is going to be different guys. I'm still going to AA, still going to come here, but the difference is I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

Relapse is never good, but there are good things that can come out of it.

I'm so grateful I am sober today, I am so grateful for my job, family, and support group. All of it goes away if I drink that 12 oz can of beer.

Not anymore and not ever again! I hope you all have a great night!

RW

Hi Reggie - whilst I am sorry you relapsed, I am glad you feel something good came of it, and that you now feel you aren't missing out on much. Onwards and upwards!!!

Sounds like a great day, thanks for sharing it with us. Its always good to get the positive spin on recovery--there's so much of it all around for all of us.

PS. I feel sorry for the poor skeet, I only hope they didn't suffer.

Sounds like you had a wonderful day Reggie!! Good going!!


:lala

Best Wishes To You!

I really enjoyed reading your post. I hope you keep sharing. :)

I do love to read your posts. You are so right. It's hard to accept, but it's not the eight drinks I would have of an evening--it's the first one.

Four ounces of wine--and it's over.

Thanks guys and gals. Also, skeet are just ceramic discs, not real birds...

Well done :grouphug: