1undone

Don't know how to break it to my sponsor. My husband made me mad because he asked about it. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. Two feelings I like to avoid at any cost.

MycoolFitz

You got yourself mad because your husband asked about your relapse. I imagine he was concerned, interested? Sponsors are there to be honest with or what's their point? Maybe take the emotional energy expended in shame and embarrassment and turn it in resolve to return to your sobriety. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was to identify myself as in my first 24 hours to my AA group I had attended over 6 months soberly. It didn't kill me but I was a little bit humbled, then grateful. Thanks for your post and all my best for you.

ACT10Npack

Well he is your husband and I would think she should know about your problems. Does your husband know that you have a sponsor and do you have ground rules on what you can talk about in your relationship?

Just get back on train and thing should be okay.

ajangel

I am sorry you relapsed. You did so well. Best thing for you to do is go to an AA meeting, pick up your white chip and pick yourself up. Most of us have relapsed. Important thing is to figure out what went wrong and do things differently this time. HUGS

Dee74

I'm sorry to hear that 1undone.

I do encourage you to tell your sponsor - clear the decks and start again - hit the ground running...look at where you went wrong and what you might do differently this time

welcome back

D

EmeraldRose

Sorry about the relapse. That's a shame. But I'm kinda getting the feeling here that you are very upset with yourself right now...I can understand your shame and guilt but taking it out on your husband is not productive energy. Trying to understand why you relapsed is. He just happen to be a good target for your emotions.
Hopefully, you get back on track. Wishing you peace and strength.

sugarbear1

your hubby is so powerful!

if you aren't done, go do research. if you are tired of being sick and tired, you'll do something about it. best wishes

1undone

I drank because my alcoholic brain decided well if you can go this long without drinking you must not really be an alcoholic.

sugarbear1

I had to surrender to the fact that I am powerless over alcohol, people, places, and things. I can't rule my world and something had to change. It took me 25 years and I changed my santa list of "not yet happened to me" to a "list of 5 things not yet happened to me."

It WILL get worse. Your choice.

ajangel

Sounds all to familiar. Ours must be related.

1undone

now i feel sad

EmeraldRose

Just start over....we get a second chance because time wasn't ready for the first one.

Anna

Yes, it's the cycle - shame, guilt, anger and sadness, which led me back to drinking to help me to feel better.

You can make the choice to end the cycle.

ajangel

You are human. Don't beat yourself up.

1undone

Ugh, crying on and off all evening. Hiding in my room. I have to face everyone tomorrow and I just want to hide under a rock. This just sucks!

Ranger

Just try to be patient, Friend.

If you could only see how brave you are for changing that date in your signature instead of allowing a relapse to consume the next month/year/decade of your life.

Clearly you are in charge of your life.

ttbp

Don't beat yourself up

instant

Isn't this what we used to do all the time and think it was no biggie? Self criticism is only useful in that it forces an appraisal and hopefully a sensible plan. You are here posting. That is one hell of an achievement.

Take care

raindancer11

I avoid those feelings too. There is usually something big that I learn about myself after feeling shame.

Glad you posted.

CeeFarro

If you start beating yourself up too much it will lead to drinking again...You are only
human..Turn it around learn from it and keep moving forward..You can do it!