landminesgirl

I'd love to hear some suggestions on how to reprogram yourself from doing things while drinking to doing the same things without. For example, I used to drink nightly while doing chores that I don't particularly like. I feel like I'm constantly doing chores - laundry, vacuuming, more laundry, cleaning dishes, kitchen, cooking, more laundry, prepping breakfasts and lunches for the kids . . . So I used to have a glass or four of wine while folding laundry or cooking or cleaning the kitchen, or making lunches for the next day. . . you get it. Since I work a ft job all day, I can't actually do these things until night time, otherwise I'd do them in the morning so I wouldn't be tempted. I now find it such a dread to do these things because I don't want to drink anymore. I can't just NOT do all these things or my home would fall apart.

Does this make sense? How do I reprogram my brain to disassociate chores with time to get buzzed?

Anna

I'm not sure if you have a husband/partner, but could he or the children help out with some of the chores? Or is it possible to hire a cleaning person, at least in the short term?

I hope you find a solution!

JellyBabyBoo

Oh the mind numbing chores coupled with trying to break a pattern - this is what I find most difficult as well! I am basically a stay at home mom, and the monotony of everyday life literally drove me to drink! (and I mean LITERALLY) I am new to this forum, but to break the cycle I make myself a non-alcoholic drink that I truly enjoy to sip on while taking care of the chores. Somedays it's a latte, maybe a smoothie, I have also found that sipping on a root beer or a flavored carbonated water with a twist of lemon or lime works well as a substitute. Make sure it is something you LOVE to drink (other than alcohol) or it won't work. If I try to simply sip on some water, I never feel satisfied. If you can, play some music you love really loud and focus on the chore itself. I have found that if I really focus on what I am doing, I can lose myself in my actions.

MycoolFitz

Good question. For me I needed to reprogram my attitudes leading to reprograming my thoughts. When I thought chores were a drag, drinking will ease my dislike, I set myself up for the old numb whatever is not pleasant, whether chores or feelings. I now think, it is good to take care of myself, whether in diet, exercise or in keeping my house in order--these things are worth my effort. Now whether its vacuuming, doing dishes, watering plants, taking out the trash, I do these as things because they are part of my self care. I give them attention and focus. Zen might say, "when you do dishes, just do dishes". The chores get done, things look better, I feel satisfied. It wasn't doing chores that made me drink, it was the undesirability or dislike of chores that led me to drink. Change my thoughts, change my life. Just my approach. My place looks good, I feel satisfied and I'm happily sober.

aidadeb

Hi Landsminegirl,
I think you are totally overwhelmed. When I feel that way I go to You Tube and do a guided relaxation meditation. It really relaxes me and helps me to deal with stressful situations. If you have a husband or older children, maybe you can give them some of your chores. I use to drink every night because of loneliness, so now I make an effort to get out as much as I can. That way I don't feel lonely and I don't drink. There is always a solution to the problem, you just have to think hard and you will find the answer. Good luck!

alchy

I used to think of it like that too. Until I realized that I drank during chores, happy, sad, watching movies etc etc. Everything. I drank every day regardless of the activity or mood. Drinking was an activity, a daily activity and it's that activity I am giving up. Everything I got through without alcohol was a little victory and 90% of the time it wasn't as hard as I'd expected it to be. I actually CAN fold laundry sober. Who would have thunk it. lol
For me it was just changing my mindset about doing things without alcohol that helped. Hell, I used to rush through things to get back downstairs because my drink was empty. Not any more.

landminesgirl

"I'm not sure if you have a husband/partner, but could he or the children help out with some of the chores? Or is it possible to hire a cleaning person, at least in the short term?"

I do have a husband, who definitely offers to help. But not in the way or in the timing I want things to be done. I have a checklist for myself every day so things don't pile up. Maybe I should just let go and not obsess over whether or not the laundry piles up. . .

landminesgirl

Oh my goodness, yes! The monotony of my life is such a problem with my drinking. I love your suggestions, thank you!

landminesgirl

Ha ha ha. . . I can't believe it!

MycoolFitz

Letting go is another great answer.

"By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning."
~Lao Tzu~

and the laundry beyond folding.

EmeraldRose

Changing the thought process before the action is hard. Our mind is already waiting to drink at a drop of a hat. It didn't matter to me what the activity...I'd be running to the kitchen for a shot or 4 every 15 minutes.
My situation is different...as I drank through all my 'stay at home' years. My youngest is 18 living at her boyfriends, I have a full time job and am separated. Literally my whole life changed so it was easy to change my pattern...BUT...I'm alone all the time. That is dangerous and keeping busy is key. Between chores come here...or read a good recovery book, or better yet play with your kids.
I walk my dogs alot when I feel 'funny' -the poor dogs. Their feet are rubbed raw clear up to their knees. LMAO

SindyLuhu

I, too, was a master at creative wine pairing.

Fold laundry with a glass of wine.
Give baths with a glass of wine.
Sweep floor with a glass of wine.
Iron with a glass of wine.

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice here. I just sympathize because I deal with the same thing. I will say that once I get through dinner without a glass of wine, I seem to be able to get through the rest of the night.

raindancer11

I'm so glad you posted this. I've gotten a lot out of the responses. I know that the main reason I drank was because I felt trapped in the unpleasantness of life. Like Fitz, I'm learning to change my thoughts. There are times when I actually enjoy doing mundane things. It relaxes me.

LOL

landminesgirl

Yep, I think I am the same way. If I can get through dinner. I keep trying to remember the "urge surfing" I heard about. . . and if I could just get through that 6-7:30 time, I'm good. I cave as soon as I start making dinner and my kids start fighting or crying or driving me crazy. Or if my husband is in a mood. . . or if the sky is blue. . .

Jabbadabutt

I used to justify drinking by doing 'chores' around the house. Damn it, if I was working/folding/cleaning/etc, I needed a reward, and I got good and drunk to prove it. It certainly seemed to make these things more bearable at first thought. I enjoyed cooking with a good buzz as I think i got more creative with dishes at times. But it quickly eroded away becuase before I knew it I was getting so drunk that I couldn't focus on the directions on a box of pasta. Or simply gave up cleaning because of drinking too much and just not caring anymore. I used to drink to enhance certain situations and spice them up. It progressed into a huge mistake.

I am afraid that drunk, sober, or whatever those tasks are still going to need to get done. At the end I felt I was cheating myself by doing these things without care and focus (casue I was drunk). I may have to clean a toilet, but if I am going to clean it, it is going to be the best job anybody has ever seen. Drinking was not a solution. It was a sympton of a bigger problem at hand.

JellyBabyBoo

Here's another good trick I use to "surf the urge"... just tell yourself, I'll wait 30 minutes... If I still want to a drink then I can have one. Then if you still have the urge in 30 minutes, tell yourself to wait 30 more and so on until you are past the "witching hour".

sugarbear1

I'd change the routine and have others help me as suggested. I'd also put on music while doing these things. I am also having a difficult time as I'd get the buzz and then do the chores, too. Today, I can see the dust, so a little at a time now. It all doesn't have to happen today. Give yourself a break, you are sober today!

Dee74

Some good advice here

I used to hate chores too.

I still hate them, so I have no real advice - I just do them now without the drinking...good music helps me not fall to the floor in a bored fit

it takes a little time to adjust but you can, and will, landminegirl
D

eJoshua

If you're anything like me, you will continue to do these things and it will feel weird for maybe a month or two to not be doing them with a glass in your hand and then quickly that sense of something missing will pass and chores will just be chores.

I don't think any reprogramming is needed, just continue to do the things you gotta do and don't drink while you're doing them.

Scolova

I just got over a major craving to go on a beer-run. I need to vacuum and steam clean our rooms tonight, I've always drank while doing that because it takes so long and is so boring. lol
I better get to it. Good Luck.