4babies2live4

I found this site n March after a binge. It helped me see that my drinking pattern wasn't normal. I figured I could just moderate. But two binges later it is obvious to me that I don't drink alcohol anymore. I use alcohol. I use it to relieve stress. I use it to banish anxiety. I use it to relax, to be more social, to fit in. I don't drink. I use. And that scares me

Before I became pregnant with my 4 th child I was drinking almost daily just a glass of wine or two but I was binging twice a month for about 6 months. It reached its worst when I became so trashed christmas eve that I blacked out (which happens all the time) and was so hungover Christmas morning I wanted to die from shame and regret. I prayed to get pregnant so I could finish my family and reboot myself. I didnt touch a drink for an entire year Fast forward to now in the midst of a nasty hangover hands shaking head pounding stomach hurting. I seem to have gone back to the old me. I don't like that me.

After I drink my depression and anxiety worsens for about 3 to 7 days. My hangover lasts 2 days. I want off this roller coaster but I don't know how to get the strength to quit for good.

I am a stay at home mom to four beautiful children. I have a lot to be sober for. My husband agrees alcohol is a problem for me but he thinks I should be able to drink socially. I just don't think so. I hesitate to label myself an alcoholic cause I'm not dependent.

I need some help. I need to know where to go and what to do. I want this hangover to be my last

least

to the family.


I was an all day every day wine drinker. I too knew I was drinking to medicate depression and anxiety but was only making it worse. With the help of my addiction counselor and the caring people here at SR I was able to quit drinking for good. I'm now twenty months sober.

You can quit drinking too. It takes work and sacrifice but the rewards are so worth it.

wheresthefun

Welcome aboard 4babies2live4, your username says it all!

Hmmmmmm, you might want to read what you wrote.

CarolD

Welcome...

I sure wish you would check with your doctor and be honest about your
anxiety/depression and drinking.

It's hard enough to be a Mom of 4 little ones without the added issues.

BTW depression is why I began my sober journey into a happier healthier future...

blessings to you and your family...

Mark75

Welcome to SR.. I have four kids, they are all almost grown... I miss the early days...

Trust your judgement on this. Your husband wants to be able to drink with you. It's an understandable concern of our spouses... one we must become immune to.

ttbp

Hello and welcome.

You're not alone. I too suffer with anxiety/depression but have been much better since quitting two months ago xx

recoverywfaith

to SR.

FT

I'm not sure I know what you mean? I think you may be co-dependent?

FT

littlefish

There are people out there waiting and ready to help you. Have you thought about making some kind of plan of sobriety?

Making a plan for sobriety is the great advice I got here on SR years ago, and I sat down and made a list: call my doctor, discuss my drinking with him/her, get my liver levels checked, find outpatient treatment options, choose a group program (AA), a non-group program, faith based, not faith based....consider rehab...etc, etc.

There is a great deal you can do to get better and you don't have to be alone!

4babies2live4

Thanks Carol. I haven't spoke to a PCP about the drinking but my therapist knows about it. I haven't seen her in a month so she is unaware of the last two episodes. I am taking lexapro for the depression and anxiety. The depression is okay but my anxiety is still not great. My problem is that I have so much guilt after I drink and that sets everything off. I also learned very early to self medicate.

4babies2live4

So sorry I meant physically dependent. I used to have cravings though and now I tend to obssess

Anna

Welcome, and I'm glad you are here seeking support.

I think the mental obsession is the worst and though my depression began years before my drinking, the drinking made the depression and anxiety so much worse. You will likely find that your anxiety is much more manageable when you are in recovery.

My advice is to not let your husband's belief that you can drink socially affect your decision and motivation. Others do not understand alcoholism and that's why it's good to come here because we do 'get it'.

newwings

Hi, 4babies2live4, and welcome to SR.

Many people on here have depression and anxiety (and a lot of them had it BEFORE their drinking issues) and have found their symptoms have been much better since quitting. Mine definitely have. I feel more steady, and my moods are more predictable. I still have a few dark days, and minor issues with anxiety, but they are much easier to handle and I find they clear pretty quickly.

When I was drinking, I felt I needed anti depressants. I spoke to a doctor who wouldn't prescribe me anything unless I quit for a month at the very least. She told me that even one drink can have a negative effect on your mood for several days. Of course, I thought I knew better and carried on drinking after that month off, and all the dark days came back. Now I have been sober for four months, and I am DEFINITELY able to have a better grip on life.

Do speak to your PHP about quitting. I am certain your life will become much better.

LoftyIdeals

4B2L4...lots of great advice here, and, as a fellow depression sufferer, you are not alone. My spouse is an enabling factor for me as well, as she doesn't like me drinking unless she needs a drinking partner. Thats an unsafe factor for me, and I'm just now learning to overcome it. I'm eager to hear what others have done to do so.

hmltnls

My problem is my husband most of his life till recently confines hid drinking to Sun/Mon when he bought me my liquor to join him .He didn't like me to drink with a freind oranyone else at any time.I did resent theis because I found my self with a very critical husband five days a week and then a complete turn around the other two days.I seldom drank two days in a row but in the past year have graduated to drinking the next morning and I am scared of the hangovers and the shakes.He says he will try and quit with me
so heres hoping .I always feel guilt when
i don;tgo along with his drinking bouts because thats traditionally when he enjoyed his relaxation time and I felt like I was abandoning him hoping to hang in there

4babies2live4

This is so hard. He says you have to be able to drink in sOcial situations or people think you're weird. In my family and his family there are huge drinkers most of my family functions aren't complete without lots of alcohol. His mom has to have happy hour every day and now gas a coffee mug in the car. There is so much enabling and so much importance place on drinking.


I don't want to hit bottom. I can envision that future. I don't want to loose my health, family or friends. I don't want my kids to look at me differently

I agree that depression is so much worse if drinking. I had post partum depression and medicated it drinking so this time around I have tried to be so careful

The scary thing for me is saying I will only drink one but always drink 2. Sometimes I cross a line and just can not stop. I want more and more and sneak it. I have stopped having mixd drinks and wine. I only drink light beer. I just cannot control it 100% of the time.

Cerberus

Strangely I find THIS weird! It sounds like your husband may have his own issues around alcohol?

sugarbear1

100 people are in a room. they are told that out of the 100, 94 of them are alcholics.
Ninety-four of the people know they are not alcoholics. The problem is, those other 6 people think they are part of the 94%.

Dee74

Great advice here
welcome to SR 4babies2live4 - good to have you with us!

D

FT

Yeah, I was at mass last Sunday, too.