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Strange feeling

Old 08-11-2011, 03:36 AM
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Strange feeling

Over the last few days, I have been getting this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can't quite explain it but it is like the feeling you get when something bad is about to happen. Almost as if you are walking in the dark and anticipate a step coming up. You can't see it and the anxiety of missing the step and falling down the stairs is gnawing at the pit of your stomach. It is very strong. I started a new job but I really don't believe that is it. It is quite uncomfortable and constant. It may be the fear of failure. Who knows.
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Old 08-11-2011, 04:48 AM
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Whatever it is I hope it resolves.
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Old 08-11-2011, 04:49 AM
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Hi ipnangel. I think I understand your feeling. For me it was an underlying deep sense of uncertainty/dread. Thankfully, I don't feel like that nearly so much anymore. I used to feel it whenever the phone rang or even getting the mail or checking facebook (which I have deleted). Maybe it is all the change from sobriety for you? Plus your new job? Maybe there are a few specific, gnawing issues you could pinpoint. Please be confident in your journey & I hope you feel more like you soon.
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Old 08-11-2011, 05:23 AM
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I believe all emotions, feelings and physical reactions are valid during those early days and weeks of sobriety.

Alcohol numbs our pain receptors and those to our central nervous system, take away the alcohol and everything internally is re-booting again so its only natural we will feel the effects of that.

Dont worry too much IPNAngel, its been so long since most of us have felt a "normal/healthy" state of being that we no longer know what that is. So I would suggest that you try to go with the flow for a little while and starting a new job is not to be underestimated in terms of its impact.

Keep pushing through
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Old 08-11-2011, 05:33 AM
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Sounds like anxiety issues to me, I've had them while still drinking, as well. I'm a HUGE believer in behavioral/cognitive therapy, you might want to see someone about this. Getting sober can up our anxiety levels even higher, taking action against them, as opposed to waiting for things to level out is my choice.
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Old 08-11-2011, 12:11 PM
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It's probably just gas. LOL
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Old 08-11-2011, 12:23 PM
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I'm on day 5, LPN, and I think I know what you mean. I've been living in a bubble for 5 days now...it's surreal. I think I'm working the pickles out of my brain. Maybe yours were just in your stomach. Maybe it's the stress or nerves of multiple changes. It's funny that you have that sense in the pit of your stomach and interpret it as trouble; I get the same thing when trouble is near. But, I'd consider this one an anomoly of change. If you think it's an ulcer, you should see your doctor.
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Old 08-11-2011, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by LoftyIdeals View Post
I'm on day 5, LPN, and I think I know what you mean. I've been living in a bubble for 5 days now...it's surreal. I think I'm working the pickles out of my brain. Maybe yours were just in your stomach. Maybe it's the stress or nerves of multiple changes. It's funny that you have that sense in the pit of your stomach and interpret it as trouble; I get the same thing when trouble is near. But, I'd consider this one an anomoly of change. If you think it's an ulcer, you should see your doctor.
No ulcer. I had a good workup the day I quit drinking. Everything is good. Maybe just nerves. Tomorrow will be a month. Can't wait to get my chip
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Old 08-11-2011, 03:15 PM
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I call that my feeling of impending doom.
It's definitely related to anxiety issues for me.

I've never actually had doom arrive yet lol

D
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Old 08-11-2011, 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I call that my feeling of impending doom.
It's definitely related to anxiety issues for me.

I've never actually had doom arrive yet lol

D
My impending doom feeling was waking up in the morning after a binge and wondering what or who the heck I did, who I ticked off, is my car still there, if it is does it have body parts hanging on it, are the cops looking for my car, where is my money and sometimes thinking, what is that stuff in my hair? Is it vomit? Sad isn't it? I'll take this kind of "bad feeling" any day.
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Old 08-11-2011, 03:47 PM
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Maybe it's time for meditation and prayer?

That feeling tells me I have to do something that I don't want to do, wether it's saying hello or calling someone, or doing what's been suggested....

I was waiting on a bus this morning, ran into a friend from my program, caught a ride to DC, walked by the monument, went into the treasury dept for a tour of the mint, had a street guy give me a dollar (I couldn't remember my pin to get $) and had a matching one for a hot dog, took the metro around town, and ended up answering phones for a double shift. What a beautiful day! and my feet hurt. I am alive!
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Old 08-11-2011, 06:47 PM
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Thanks for sharing that lpnangel - I can really relate. After 15+ months, I'm still getting used to those kind of emotions (it's like a "wave" of sadness/anxiety that just comes up). I don't know if it's anxiety-driven or something like PAWS, emotions I've bottled up, or if it's just a part of life.
Compared to when I was drinking, though.... well, there is no comparison. Things are much better all the way around.

Be good to yourself and when all else fails, make a gratitude list!
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Old 08-11-2011, 06:56 PM
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Fear of success? I can not tell one emotion from another. Been numbed for a long time. Pray on it.
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Old 08-11-2011, 08:20 PM
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I have that exact feeling! I've never been able to describe it quite right but you do a great job. I can remember having the same feeling when I was six or seven and my mother was mad at me. It's the pre-spanking doom thing. It's awful and I started having it right after I started seriously trying to quit drinking.

I think it's about the responsibility we feel for what we are trying to do.

Are you generally fairly concerned about things you can't control? I certainly am. I'll give you an example:

I was told to take an anti-anxiety drug so I can sleep better. But I won't because I want to be able to hear if anything bad might happen....hence the need for the anxiety drug.

What a roller coaster!!
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Missy7 View Post
I have that exact feeling! I've never been able to describe it quite right but you do a great job. I can remember having the same feeling when I was six or seven and my mother was mad at me. It's the pre-spanking doom thing. It's awful and I started having it right after I started seriously trying to quit drinking.

I think it's about the responsibility we feel for what we are trying to do.

Are you generally fairly concerned about things you can't control? I certainly am. I'll give you an example:

I was told to take an anti-anxiety drug so I can sleep better. But I won't because I want to be able to hear if anything bad might happen....hence the need for the anxiety drug.

What a roller coaster!!
"Pre spanking doom" is a perfect analogy. Yes I am concerned about things I can't control. I can identify with the wanting to be alert incase anything bad happened. There is a song by Joe Walsh called "the worry song". Every time I heard that song I used to laugh because it described my me to a T. I worried about everything. I am have been going to AA. The serenity prayer is "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." I am trying to work on that but it's not easy. Thanks for the reminder.
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Old 08-12-2011, 07:55 AM
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I relate. I've have the impending-doom feeling my whole life.

I am choosing today to think of it as anxiety that never got addressed. High-functioning, you know.

A slightly different version of this is "knowing" that someone is thinking ill of me or has made a decision that will affect me in a negative way. I call it my spidey-sense. It's from a childhood of waiting for the other-shoe-to-drop. It's like a heightened sense of smell. (See also: pre-spanking, lull-before-screaming.)

I've been praying for my HP to replace my doom-feeling with contentment.

I am pretty much relieved of it happening upon awakening. It is certainly a lot less present in the past 5 months than the previous 43-odd years. There is hope!
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Old 08-13-2011, 10:18 AM
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Lull before screaming is really important Frances. I do that all the time. For instance, I should get my tires checked. I envision a flat tire and an apocalyptic , life-ending scream. If I look at the checkbook toward the end of a pay period, I imagine the world ending--in a scream. I mean, seriously. If we run out of cash we'll use a card. We'll get paid again.

Who are these people who don't walk a tightrope all day long? Every move I make is in terror. Is the fabric cut right? Did what I said to that student make them hate me? What if they have to wait a few days for their papers? I am convinced of a severing disaster always around the corner...never a progress than can be reversed.

I mean, for heaven's sake, I might be able to turn the wheel before the car goes off the cliff, don't you think? Or maybe the horse will act up by hopping rather than detonating in nuclear fission.

But then, we did just get a phone call saying my sister was dead. Not sick. Dead. Same deal with my dad. Mom was only brain dead--lived another couple of days till we all got there.

The house burned twice when I was a kid. Dog after dog was run over.

Hmmmm....the pit.
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Old 08-13-2011, 10:32 AM
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How strange that yesterday I got a call from my sister with terrible news about my brother. Coincidence? At least now I will be able to handle this sober.
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Old 08-13-2011, 10:37 AM
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I hope you are okay. I hope your brother is okay and that your family can deal with what you are facing. Stay strong.
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Old 08-13-2011, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Missy7 View Post
I hope you are okay. I hope your brother is okay and that your family can deal with what you are facing. Stay strong.
I am ok. As for my brother, probably not.
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