janitorking

just completed my 28 day stay at a residential treatment facility. i've been sober for 31 days which is the longest i've been sober in over 3 years. my wife told me while i was at the facility that she wanted a divorce. superb timing sweet heart. job well done.
my sobriety is the strongest it's been in awhile but my soon to be ex is making it hard to wanna stay sober. climbing inside a bottle and never coming out sounds pretty enticing at the moment but i refuse to let her decision to abandon our marriage force me to drink. so much for 'til death do us part' and 'in sickness and in health'.

least

THere's nothing that can't be made worse by drinking. I can imagine how awful you feel, but drinking will only make you feel worse, you know that. I am sorry for the upheaval in your life, but am glad you're facing it sober.

Dee74

I'm sorry JK...unfortunately we can't pick the timetable for what other people do.

Try and focus on you and recovery - with sobriety you can,and will, sort out your life and your future...without it, well we've both been there.

lean on the community here. You can do this

D

MycoolFitz

My wife left after my rehab and several more months of sobriety. I showed her by disappearing back into the bottle. Funny, it didn't bring her back, punish her or make me feel any better. Please don't go back to drinking, just move forward. Do it for yourself and your future, not your past.

Anna

I'm really sorry, JK.

It's so good that you got through rehab and doing well with your recovery.

ACT10Npack

I don't know your pass history about you and your wife but if it has to do about your alcohol problem then that comes down to you to fix it. Getting your life back together and showing her that your getting problems fix is a good step but you should always get sober for yourself first.

Zebra1275

I don't think drinking will win her back. Hell, maybe nothing will.

But drinking will screw up the 28 days of rehab you just graduated from.

tallcactus

Don't drink. I know the timing was bad, but you need to focus on you and your recovery.
If you and she are meant to be together, then it will happen.
Don't throw those days away. Come here often for support.

JimE

Hi janitorking, I doubt there ever is a good time for news like that. I was 18 yrs sober when my ex let me know she wanted a divorce. That's a long story, too long...the point I'd like to make is one of the first things that came to my mind after the phone call was I need to get to a meeting. My attendance had fallen off from lots of meetings to a few the last 7 yrs but I guess I knew deep down that AA has been my safety net when I need it.

Maybe getting involved in the program now would be good for you? The support is invaluable, and you just might be able to help someone going through a similar situation.

stuckonstopped

The almost same thing happened to me....she left me about two months after I got out of my 28 day rehab. Of course I relapsed about a month after I got out and found myself right where I was before I went in, and knew for sure she would leave if I kept it up, but I still went ahead and did it. I said the EXACT same words when she left: "so much for death til us part and sickness and in health". It was my petulant way of blaming her. In fact, I may have even written them down in a note somewhere lol.

I carried on for a couple more days after she left but have been sober since (100+ days now) because I got scared *@&*less that I was going to die alone and soon, and that the life I was living wasn't a life at all.

I've got some level of clarity now and realize I really need to do this for myself. Drinking isn't going to make my failed marriage and all its consequences go away. She has to deal with this on her terms and in her way also, and I know she is having a rough time with this as well....maybe even a rougher time than me since I have a sponsor and a support network to lean on. The best I can do for her, and more importantly for me, at this point, is to live well and be healthy, which for me means not drinking no matter what.

Hope it gets better for you man. Probably not the best timing while you were in rehab, but that's what life has for you now to deal with. It may seem like a big stinking pile of crap now, but eventually these things become dried up little rabbit turds you can just flick away. It sounds like you don't want to turn this into an excuse to drink, so don't.

Regards,
Joe