I chose to fell sad today
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3
I chose to fell sad today
My spouse of 18 years is in recovery now for 16 months. A long road to get here. We have lived apart and together off and on through the last few years as he finally settled into recovery. We have moved slowly back into our life together and let me preface this to say, he is my soul mate, my best friend and awesome lover.
A couple of months ago, he started obsessively texting other people mostly women (most of whom are in AA) and started exhibiting the same sneaky behavior and manipulating he did when he was using. One in particular, and I, in a lapse of sanity, started treating him as I did when he was using....trying to catch him, stop him.....
Then I did the worst, I confronted both of them. The result? Not so good....so I realize my poor judgement and have changed my behavior to give him space for his program and I am working mine (alanon). I slipped, I think we all do, but as a counselor once told me, its ok to slip, its what you do to pick yourself back up that matters.
Last week he tells me he is detached from life and wants to move away and live by himself at least for a while. I feel like he has traded one addiction for another. I think I know the answer, and that is I need to let him go to figure things out on his own. I am just so sad......I want everything to be right again and I miss my best friend.
Recovery is so hard. He holds alot of resentments and can't seem to get a handle on it. Sometimes it is really hard for me to understand, but I want to be understanding and I hope for our life to come back together.
Today I chose to feel sad......
A couple of months ago, he started obsessively texting other people mostly women (most of whom are in AA) and started exhibiting the same sneaky behavior and manipulating he did when he was using. One in particular, and I, in a lapse of sanity, started treating him as I did when he was using....trying to catch him, stop him.....
Then I did the worst, I confronted both of them. The result? Not so good....so I realize my poor judgement and have changed my behavior to give him space for his program and I am working mine (alanon). I slipped, I think we all do, but as a counselor once told me, its ok to slip, its what you do to pick yourself back up that matters.
Last week he tells me he is detached from life and wants to move away and live by himself at least for a while. I feel like he has traded one addiction for another. I think I know the answer, and that is I need to let him go to figure things out on his own. I am just so sad......I want everything to be right again and I miss my best friend.
Recovery is so hard. He holds alot of resentments and can't seem to get a handle on it. Sometimes it is really hard for me to understand, but I want to be understanding and I hope for our life to come back together.
Today I chose to feel sad......
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