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Old 08-04-2011, 10:33 AM
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Hi everyone, my name is John, I've been lurking for a few days only because I couldn't actually post, don't know why it took a few days before I could post, but whatever.

Anyway, I stopped 7/25/11, cold turkey. Detox was tough, but I read a bit on it and did as much as I could to make it bearable, even then it was rough, but I made it through.

Quick background, I'm 51. Went on the road as a professional musician in 1984, but was already a heavy drinker before that, but did it get even heavier. So, for the most part I've been a heavy drinker/full blown alcoholic since the early 80s.

Longest I ever went sober was for two and a half months in 2001. Funny thing was I stopped about a month before my now ex-wife and I had "the talk" - the marriage was over. That was about a month into that period, so I stayed sober another month and a half, which was an insanely stressful time.

Well, I started drinking again, and with the exception of a few weeks the end of 2009, I've never strung together more than a day here or there and that was not very often.

I had gotten to the point, for at least the last few months, were I was going through detox every day (got worse as the day went on), just trying to get through the day at work until I could get home, start drinking, so I could get back to "normal". Normal - HA! Oh, and on the weekends, who needs to wait to get "normal" I just dove right in as soon as I oozed out of bed!

Well, for the last few months, my wife (who is as bad as I was/am) and I had been saying, "this has to stop, we are throwing our lives away..." We were off work the week before the 25th and made a pact - it would be our last horrah, on the morning of the 25th we would get sober.

I held up my part of the bargain, she has yet to, but as cold as this may sound, that is not my problem right now, I need to concentrate on me.

Funny things is, it's almost been too easy. I'm not kidding myself, I know I am an addict and I do get a small craving now and then, but not too often. Bottom line is, when I analyzed the whole thing, I see no positives to drinking, just negatives. I read a lot of people on here saying they wish they could be a "social drinker" or they're going to miss their wine with dinner or a beer on a hot day. Well, for me, I don't see any benefit to any of that, hence my name - wheres the fun, as in drinking, for me there is zero fun.

I'm writing a book (yes, I'm a windbag), but I have some ideas as to why I feel I have a very good chance of staying a non-drinker for the rest of my life. Part of that is I've already gone through intensive therapy and overcame my life long depression, after my divorce.

Anyway, glad to meet you all, I already know some of your stories from this place, and I'm glad I'm here.
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Old 08-04-2011, 10:41 AM
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Hi John,

Welcome!

I'm glad you found us!
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Old 08-04-2011, 10:43 AM
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Old 08-04-2011, 10:48 AM
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Welcome!! I'm glad you're here and that you're finding quitting to be not too bad! I would like to offer a word of caution, if I may... I had a pretty easy time quitting as well and even felt pretty euphoric that first week or two. I was so proud of myself and things were so much better! Then the euphoria wore off and I found it much harder and slipped up a few times. Just something to keep in mind...
By the way, I don't think you're at all selfish for concentrating on yourself right now. It's what we all have to do. Best of luck!!
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Old 08-04-2011, 11:06 AM
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Thanks, Anna, nandm, and saphira...

Originally Posted by saphira View Post
I would like to offer a word of caution, if I may... I had a pretty easy time quitting as well and even felt pretty euphoric that first week or two. I was so proud of myself and things were so much better! Then the euphoria wore off and I found it much harder and slipped up a few times. Just something to keep in mind...
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about, I am constantly giving myself little talks, telling myself to not get too excited, too "high", keep things in check, I'm just at the very surface here... Again, helps that I've gone through intensive behavioral therapy.
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Old 08-04-2011, 11:11 AM
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Old 08-04-2011, 11:11 AM
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I'm glad you've thought it all through!!
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Old 08-04-2011, 11:12 AM
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Glad you're here too and thanks for sharing your story. We've got a few things in common, exs, therapist, downsides to drinking with no observable upsides. And yea, this time around it feels easy to me but I still work it on the recovery side and stay vigilent rather than complacent. Welcome
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Old 08-04-2011, 11:16 AM
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Welcome! I enjoyed your post.
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Old 08-04-2011, 11:27 AM
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Welcome aboard Wheresthefun. I was gonna initialize your username for expedience until I realized it became WTF! lol. (If you did that on purpose it's bloody genius .)

Glad to see a fellow musician getting off the sauce. Booze flows around muzos like waterfalls in Niagara, and it's not easy letting go of the sauce come gig time.

This place is golden, and the folks here are truly helpful beyond belief. Keep posting and sharing, you'd be surprised how much it can help your resolve.
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Old 08-04-2011, 11:59 AM
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Hi smacked, MycooFitz, SSIL75 & binderdonedat, thanks for the welcome!

Binder, I left the road in late 87 just before my son was born. The rear times I went on stage sober were terrifying! I did just remember, I did have a sober spell of about a month then, I wanted (and was successful) in quitting smoking (cigs, never a pot guy) before my son was born. Booze was making that tough, so I stopped drinking for a few weeks until I felt I had the smoking thing under control. Haven't had a single drag of a cigarette since midnight, July 4th, 1987. Good thing I'm blind without my glasses on, I'd have never been able to perform sober AND being able to see the crowds.

I stopped playing guitar, for the most part the end of the 90s, just lost interest - Anhedonia (a byproduct of depression), but just this week I've actually had the urge to buy an acoustic guitar, something I've never owned, and hardly ever played.

Again, thanks for the welcome everyone!
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Old 08-04-2011, 12:51 PM
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Old 08-04-2011, 01:09 PM
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Old 08-04-2011, 02:14 PM
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Welcome John
Dunno why you had troubles posting initially but I'm glad it's sorted itself out

Good to have you with us - sounds like you're well and truly ready to leave drinking behind

D
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Old 08-04-2011, 03:06 PM
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Originally Posted by wheresthefun View Post
Hi smacked, MycooFitz, SSIL75 & binderdonedat, thanks for the welcome!

Binder, I left the road in late 87 just before my son was born. The rear times I went on stage sober were terrifying! I did just remember, I did have a sober spell of about a month then, I wanted (and was successful) in quitting smoking (cigs, never a pot guy) before my son was born. Booze was making that tough, so I stopped drinking for a few weeks until I felt I had the smoking thing under control. Haven't had a single drag of a cigarette since midnight, July 4th, 1987. Good thing I'm blind without my glasses on, I'd have never been able to perform sober AND being able to see the crowds.

I stopped playing guitar, for the most part the end of the 90s, just lost interest - Anhedonia (a byproduct of depression), but just this week I've actually had the urge to buy an acoustic guitar, something I've never owned, and hardly ever played.

Again, thanks for the welcome everyone!
I hear ya for sure. The road kept me properly sauced for a decade. Came to the point where the only time I could properly perform was if I was properly wasted. Weird how that works. Quitting the cancer sticks is brilliant. That's currently the one thing that really kicks my a$$. I'd do anything to be rid of these coffin nails. That is definitely my next battle.

As for your Anhedonia, I've heard that getting sober and working a good program can truly help that area. I know I went through about 5 years of getting absolutely 0 pleasure from music and I didn't touch my guitar or keyboards for almost 2 years unless it meant a paycheck. After I found sobriety I slowly picked at it again. Now I'm writing and producing on the regular, completely sans alcohol. And I actually enjoy it like I did back in the day, when it mattered! Anyway, here's a great little inspirational diddy since you mentioned thinking about grabbing an acoustic guitar... I met the kid in this video eons ago at Steve's Music in Montreal - he was like 10 years old at the time and blowing away us 80's/90's Steve Vai wannabe "shredders" lol! When I listen to this it shows me that music and drunk are not necessarily synonyms.

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Old 08-04-2011, 03:49 PM
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51, so you've got like three years on me. So we share a lot of years of daily "cocktail hour" that turned into cocktail hours, and hours and hours. LOL

Didn't think I would be able to stop at one point. But a bad accident involving a Mustang, rolling (not on the wheels) into the bushes with my two teenaged kids in the car with me, was what it took to say, never again.

It can be done and the fun is still available, just that it's available with a bottle of ice water in hand, or a can of sprite or something. Where's the fun? Nowhere if you're dead. LOL

Congratulations. Don't count the days, just remember the day you make a promise to yourself that drinking was no longer a part of your life. It worked for me. August 14 is one year. It can be done, easier if you don't analyze the heck out of it too.
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