ulfr

We have been sober for 15 days now and we where fine up until a little while ago
We are having flashbacks of the abuse we where subjected to.
Tonight there really bad ones ,we can hardly write this as we are in tears.
We want an escape from it .
Drugs would make it be bearable for a while so would drink.
Some of us are saying we should get to an AA meeting but others like AA isnt for them so we are unsure what to do.
We have been doing exercise low impact because we have physical difficulties with our hip and back , so we have been doing steps with carrying some weights doing about 100 at a time
We think that if we focus more on the exercise rather than wanting drugs and drink would help us
But right now all we want to do is make the past go away and leave us alone
we are hurting so much right now

Max

Hooped

Actually I find drinking and drugs just makes the hurt worse no matter what your personality....hang in there.

MycoolFitz

If drugs and alcohol really made the past go away we'd only need to use once.

PS. It also sounds that while hurting you all are really working.

Anna

Max, I'm sorry that you're feeling confused about what to do and that you are hurting.

I think doing some physical exercise is a really good thing for you.

aussieblue

Max, exercise is a great thing , it will help take your mind off the past and drinking/drugs and you will be getting fit in the process. I suffer from depression and I always feel so much better after exercise.

sugarbear1

I'm hurting, too, but for me to drink or drug is to die, so I must endure.

This, too shall pass. Give time Time.
Peace

Soberpotamus

Max, have you and your alters found a good therapist? Is Ella's husband making sure that you get to see your therapist? I think I remember there were some financials getting in the way of counseling, did you all work out an alternative?

So sorry you're hurting. Can you try relaxing music, yoga, and things like that? Yoga is low impact exercise and also helps you to relax.

Dee74

I really hope you feel better now Max...I hope you're working out the therapist troubles too.

I think flashbacks are incredibly hard to deal with without professional help.

D

ulfr

Thank you all for your support
We are no closer to getting a therapist at the moment.
We know we need help with the flashbacks but we are too scared to trust someone and we don't think we will speak either because we are too scared to.
Tried yoga before its not for us you have to be a little bit more bendy for yoga than we are.
We will try and meditate see if that helps.
Dont feel like drinking or taking drugs at the moment .
more focused on losing weight and exercise.

MycoolFitz

Not feeling like drinking or taking drugs at the moment is good, the moment's all we got. Thanks for the update.

Soberpotamus

Yep, thanks for the update... exercise can only help you all, and drugs and alcohol will simply make things a lot more complicated. It certainly won't help anything.

Good job!

leo21

Speaking of exercise - is there a place you can join that has an indoor pool? It puts less strain on your body/joints. Water can be a calming effect as well. Two for one!

ulfr

yes we could go swimming but we worry about our size when am in the pool
and we cant swim very well either

Hevyn

Very glad to hear you've turned the corner. Here's hoping the positive thoughts will stay with you. Glad you shared your feelings with us and that it helped ease your mind a bit.

MycoolFitz

Well that could be a downer in more ways than one. :-) I do a lot of walking. Its one thing I can do unless I'm trying to chew gum at the same time.

sugarbear1

I me a woman who had multiple personalities. She became a member of aa. She has over 10 years of sobriety now and has become one with her selves...no multiples now. She is now married wth a child, another on the way, teaches school. I do't know if this gives you any hope, but she rlied on her higher power and aa, for her.

Sugarbear who has raw nerves at 79 days sober

sugarbear1

Typos on don't and relied