My last chance in recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Malaysia
Posts: 88
Originally Posted by Zebra1275 
Welcome. It sounds like you have completed step 1 of AA.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Originally Posted by lpnangel
Welcome to SR suresh. You are doing great so far. It will take some time before you are able to have a normal nights sleep. I do hope you start AA. It is my saving grace this go around.
Originally Posted by sugarbear1
your body is crying for nutrition deprived while drinking. keep up the water!
Day 4 (The beginning):
Its gonna be 2pm here. I could hardly sleep last night as i was constantly waking up in sweats and the gassy stomach making all sorts of noises and movements didnt help either. Got up to have breakfast at 10 and slept back. It was only then i got a good 4 hours sleep *almost* without any disturbance.
I must admit. When i got up just now, as I was having a smoke, the devil inside me started working. Suddenly out of nowhere my mind was thinking, it would be nice to have a cold beer now. Of course i didnt cave in, i fought it!
Today i feel slightly more energetic and not so lousy overall.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
That's awesome! I'm so happy things are going well for you.
Something that a lot of people have said on here, that I find comforting when I get cravings or thoughts of drinking, is to take a moment to remind myself that it's just a thought and that it will pass. It becomes more and more true the further you get into recovery, too.
Keep going, you're doing great! Sleep usually improves a lot after the first couple weeks.
Something that a lot of people have said on here, that I find comforting when I get cravings or thoughts of drinking, is to take a moment to remind myself that it's just a thought and that it will pass. It becomes more and more true the further you get into recovery, too.
Keep going, you're doing great! Sleep usually improves a lot after the first couple weeks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Malaysia
Posts: 88
Originally Posted by eJoshua
That's awesome! I'm so happy things are going well for you.
Something that a lot of people have said on here, that I find comforting when I get cravings or thoughts of drinking, is to take a moment to remind myself that it's just a thought and that it will pass. It becomes more and more true the further you get into recovery, too.
Keep going, you're doing great! Sleep usually improves a lot after the first couple weeks.
Something that a lot of people have said on here, that I find comforting when I get cravings or thoughts of drinking, is to take a moment to remind myself that it's just a thought and that it will pass. It becomes more and more true the further you get into recovery, too.
Keep going, you're doing great! Sleep usually improves a lot after the first couple weeks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Malaysia
Posts: 88
My 5th day and going strong.. Last night was really weird. I was feeling super sensitive all over and the slightest movement caused by the fan and my blanket brushing my body got me up instantly and i was twitching all over. weird.
I'm feeling tired here due to lack of sleep but hey, at least i didnt touch anything!
I'm feeling tired here due to lack of sleep but hey, at least i didnt touch anything!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Malaysia
Posts: 88
It really is hard today. For the past 5 hours i've been craving for beer non-stop but i've been able to tell the demon to BUGGER off! It got worse when i ran out of smokes and went to get a pack from the shop nearby and i couldn't help but notice the stacks of beer. Its like a magnet pulling me to get a few.. i could even hear a voice in my head saying "just a few, what harm can it do...".
I just stood there blankly for awhile, and thought back what happened when the numerous times i listened to that voice, and i just paid for my smokes and headed back home. This is the 1st time in my life I said no to that devil of a voice in my head and if there's one thing that made me say NO, i can safely say its SR and the support i'm getting here.
I'm eternally thankful I found SR and such wonderful people here and to GOD for pointing me here.
That being said, on a lesse note, it's as if Mr.Saturday is sitting on top of my head today lol.. (i just had to say that :P)
I just stood there blankly for awhile, and thought back what happened when the numerous times i listened to that voice, and i just paid for my smokes and headed back home. This is the 1st time in my life I said no to that devil of a voice in my head and if there's one thing that made me say NO, i can safely say its SR and the support i'm getting here. I'm eternally thankful I found SR and such wonderful people here and to GOD for pointing me here.
That being said, on a lesse note, it's as if Mr.Saturday is sitting on top of my head today lol.. (i just had to say that :P)
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
Welcome Suresh! You made a great list for why you don't want to drink anymore. It will come in handy when you have cravings-just think it all the way through to the bad stuff that drinking causes and it will be easier to resist.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Think im just gonna start posting in the Class of August thread from now on so as to not clutter the forum up!
You'll get a little better at this each day you don't pick up a drink. And though the cravings can be intense, they don't last forever. Even when I had really bad ones, by the next morning I was usually doing much better and so happy I didn't give in.
Stay positive - it gets better!!:day6
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Suresh,
Hang in there. You mentioned that the nearest AA meeting is 100 kms away. Can you make it there? I really feel that it would help a great deal to be there especially at this stage in your recovery.
Yes in these tropicl climates a cold beer sounds refreshing. Get a really tall glass fill it with ice, lemon and gingerale. Seriously took the edge off for me.
Cai Hong
Hang in there. You mentioned that the nearest AA meeting is 100 kms away. Can you make it there? I really feel that it would help a great deal to be there especially at this stage in your recovery.
Yes in these tropicl climates a cold beer sounds refreshing. Get a really tall glass fill it with ice, lemon and gingerale. Seriously took the edge off for me.
Cai Hong
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Malaysia
Posts: 88
Artsoul: Thanks.. Well i do feel slightly better as days go by. My 6th day is coming to an end and i feel good!
Dee74: Thanks and if i aint gonna clutter up the forum, then i'm gonna just continue here
CaiHong: Yup, its around that distance. Yes I can, but not for now. I just am not ready to travel all alone that far yet. Yea, a cold beer always sounds refreshing, but i substitute it with soy milk (i'm lactose intolerant so no milk for me), orange juice or sugar cane juice! I'm reallllly sick bored of any drink that has lime / lemon in it.
Now for my 6th day:
Got up around 9ish feeling groggy because of the lack of sleep... as usual the insomnia and nightsweats insisted to be my sleeping partners lol. Had a good breakfast and headed for my counseling session.. I made appointments to see 2 counsellors, 1st a guidance counselor and 2nd a psychiatrist. I saw the guidance counselor today, it was a very worthwile visit (my 1st visit to a counselor of any sort!) as I learned things about myself that even I didnt notice! I told him all about my drinking, long story short: he said all your withdrawal symptoms will subside by around 2 months and you'll be back to normal (is that true???).
I'm waiting for a conformation on when I can go see the psychiatrist for my alcohol/depression/insomnia/anxiety related issues (couldn't make it today). I think the combination of both this counselors will be good for me. Anyways, i took-away lunch and came back home to eat it, still dont feel ready to "be out there".
Everything was fine till I had to go to the toilet and decided to take my phone with me. Mind you, i'm obsessed over my phone and guess what, it fell on the floor which was very wet as the pipe was running. Immediatly I started to lose it, my mind started to go haywire and as i was telling myself, this is the end of my phone, i might as well chuck it and have a beer, at least that will down my sorrow, i remembered what eJoshua told me, so i took a moment, thought back for all the reasons i decided to stop drinking, and decided to try repair it instead. 2 1/2 hours later, it came to life! I couldn't have been more happier then..
The story is of no relevance, but the implication of it is. After all that, I was just relaxing doing nothing in the couch and i was thinking, what IF i had taken the beer, what would have happened? And then i realised, not only would i have wasted all my effort to stay sober, I also would have lost my phone.
I see now that the rewards for being sober might be nothing to other people, but the inner satisfaction it brings me to see all the little things take action and have its own place and reason in my life, thats just something no amount of alcohol can ever give me. I felt something I hadn't felt in a looong time. An extreme sense of euphoria, as if I was "high" yet sober..
And my appetite is growing like crazy! Unlike most who will put on weight when they drink. I dont, in fact i lost weight a lot, due to me not eating and just drinking and drinking. I have a high metabolism so i guess that explains it. I gained 2.2kgs in 2 days, so one can just imagine how much i've been eating these past few days :P
All this talking bout food is making me hungry again haha.. time for yet another meal for me!
Take care all as i march forward(more like sleep through) till day 7 comes!
Dee74: Thanks and if i aint gonna clutter up the forum, then i'm gonna just continue here
CaiHong: Yup, its around that distance. Yes I can, but not for now. I just am not ready to travel all alone that far yet. Yea, a cold beer always sounds refreshing, but i substitute it with soy milk (i'm lactose intolerant so no milk for me), orange juice or sugar cane juice! I'm reallllly sick bored of any drink that has lime / lemon in it.
Now for my 6th day:
Got up around 9ish feeling groggy because of the lack of sleep... as usual the insomnia and nightsweats insisted to be my sleeping partners lol. Had a good breakfast and headed for my counseling session.. I made appointments to see 2 counsellors, 1st a guidance counselor and 2nd a psychiatrist. I saw the guidance counselor today, it was a very worthwile visit (my 1st visit to a counselor of any sort!) as I learned things about myself that even I didnt notice! I told him all about my drinking, long story short: he said all your withdrawal symptoms will subside by around 2 months and you'll be back to normal (is that true???).
I'm waiting for a conformation on when I can go see the psychiatrist for my alcohol/depression/insomnia/anxiety related issues (couldn't make it today). I think the combination of both this counselors will be good for me. Anyways, i took-away lunch and came back home to eat it, still dont feel ready to "be out there".
Everything was fine till I had to go to the toilet and decided to take my phone with me. Mind you, i'm obsessed over my phone and guess what, it fell on the floor which was very wet as the pipe was running. Immediatly I started to lose it, my mind started to go haywire and as i was telling myself, this is the end of my phone, i might as well chuck it and have a beer, at least that will down my sorrow, i remembered what eJoshua told me, so i took a moment, thought back for all the reasons i decided to stop drinking, and decided to try repair it instead. 2 1/2 hours later, it came to life! I couldn't have been more happier then..
The story is of no relevance, but the implication of it is. After all that, I was just relaxing doing nothing in the couch and i was thinking, what IF i had taken the beer, what would have happened? And then i realised, not only would i have wasted all my effort to stay sober, I also would have lost my phone.
I see now that the rewards for being sober might be nothing to other people, but the inner satisfaction it brings me to see all the little things take action and have its own place and reason in my life, thats just something no amount of alcohol can ever give me. I felt something I hadn't felt in a looong time. An extreme sense of euphoria, as if I was "high" yet sober..
And my appetite is growing like crazy! Unlike most who will put on weight when they drink. I dont, in fact i lost weight a lot, due to me not eating and just drinking and drinking. I have a high metabolism so i guess that explains it. I gained 2.2kgs in 2 days, so one can just imagine how much i've been eating these past few days :P
All this talking bout food is making me hungry again haha.. time for yet another meal for me!
Take care all as i march forward(more like sleep through) till day 7 comes!
Last edited by Suresh; 08-07-2011 at 07:22 AM. Reason: typo
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Central California
Posts: 322
Suresh,
I've been keeping up on your thread. Great Job! Just think, if you decided to say F it and get a drink today instead of fixing your phone, not only would you have fallen off the wagon, you would still have a broken phone! I'm so glad you're seeking help from counselors. Hopefully you get all the support you need!
I've been keeping up on your thread. Great Job! Just think, if you decided to say F it and get a drink today instead of fixing your phone, not only would you have fallen off the wagon, you would still have a broken phone! I'm so glad you're seeking help from counselors. Hopefully you get all the support you need!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Malaysia
Posts: 88
Originally Posted by amandaw
Suresh,
I've been keeping up on your thread. Great Job! Just think, if you decided to say F it and get a drink today instead of fixing your phone, not only would you have fallen off the wagon, you would still have a broken phone! I'm so glad you're seeking help from counselors. Hopefully you get all the support you need!
I've been keeping up on your thread. Great Job! Just think, if you decided to say F it and get a drink today instead of fixing your phone, not only would you have fallen off the wagon, you would still have a broken phone! I'm so glad you're seeking help from counselors. Hopefully you get all the support you need!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Way to go Suresh! Hope the insomnia gets better soon - it's so annoying! I was pretty jumpy too for a week+, but kept reminding myself that at least I was healing, and not damaging myself any more. Keep going!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
