Looking for ideas
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Des Moines, Iowa
Posts: 39
Looking for ideas
Wanting to do something tonight, that costs no money or very little that I wouldn't have done while drinking. I have a bad back, so no skydiving...although with enough wine I probably would have done that. What's something you've wanted to do or have started doing since recovery that was out of the question during your drunken days?
Guest
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 647
I want to learn how to ride a motorcycle. When I get my bills caught up, I am going to take lessons and buy myself a bike. My friend has a bike and he takes me on it all the time. One of my favorite things to do is ride down the beaches when it starts getting dark. I love the wind in my hair and face. Very relaxing.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Just about anything and everything. I had a variety of interests before drinking becamr my focal point. Little by little I gave them all but to concentrate on feeding my addiction. sober I'm not really doing new things rather I'm back to doing those things that gave me pleasure before the crippling dis-ease of alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Taking care of myself. Including in some of the ways mentioned: paying my bills and cleaning my house. And cooking healthy food. Working out/ running. Spending time with my pets. Also spoiling myself with bubble baths, reading, pedi/mani, hair cut/style, shopping for new clothes. Some of this stuff is pricey but I look back and think of how much I spent on alcohol/ at bars and I've decided to not worry about any amount of money I'm spending on myself right now (within reason, of course). $30 seems like a lot for pedi but that would be a round or two of drinks at the bar. So I just don't think about that for the moment, just like I didn't think about it when I was out drinking.
Now, if you're budget-conscious right now which it sounds like you are (totally understandable), you can still paint your nails at home while watching a rented movie or TV, go through your closet and see which clothes fit you best and which ones need to be donated to de-clutter your life and make it easier for you to find your nice clothes, or go to a salon or massage school and get a student to practice on you for cheap.
Oh, and working more... I really didn't pay much attention to work when I was drinking a lot... it was just something I had to make sure I showed up for and looked okay enough to make it through without someone wondering what I was doing the night before. Now I try to focus on it and learn as much as I can and give it my all. (When I'm not obsessing about alcohol or on SR, ha ha).
I've been thinking of taking up guitar or the flute, because I was really into much when I was young, and I've given that up. I don't want to sit around in the evenings feeling sorry for myself and wishing I was out drinking with friends. Instead I want my life to feel full and happy without alcohol (since drinking sure didn't make it feel fun or full in the long run!) Another thing I've been doing is reading books about alcoholism, praying (even though I'm not religious) and meditating/doing yoga (ditto). Just trying new things, anything, besides my old ways of partying all the time.
Good luck to you.
Now, if you're budget-conscious right now which it sounds like you are (totally understandable), you can still paint your nails at home while watching a rented movie or TV, go through your closet and see which clothes fit you best and which ones need to be donated to de-clutter your life and make it easier for you to find your nice clothes, or go to a salon or massage school and get a student to practice on you for cheap.
Oh, and working more... I really didn't pay much attention to work when I was drinking a lot... it was just something I had to make sure I showed up for and looked okay enough to make it through without someone wondering what I was doing the night before. Now I try to focus on it and learn as much as I can and give it my all. (When I'm not obsessing about alcohol or on SR, ha ha).
I've been thinking of taking up guitar or the flute, because I was really into much when I was young, and I've given that up. I don't want to sit around in the evenings feeling sorry for myself and wishing I was out drinking with friends. Instead I want my life to feel full and happy without alcohol (since drinking sure didn't make it feel fun or full in the long run!) Another thing I've been doing is reading books about alcoholism, praying (even though I'm not religious) and meditating/doing yoga (ditto). Just trying new things, anything, besides my old ways of partying all the time.
Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Also wanted to add... trying to be less selfish, and do things for other people instead of myself. In a few days I'm flying home for a beach vacation with my family. At first I was worried about how I'm going to be able to go to the beach and not drink, especially with my dad and sister, that's like, our thing. But my mom doesn't drink, my brother and his wife don't drink (they used to, but gave it up a couple years ago when they got married), and I have two underage little siblings who don't/can't drink. So I decided, why not hang out with them and learn what people who don't drink do at the beach to have fun?
Then I thought of past beach vacations when I'd go out with my sister/friends all night and pass out on the beach the next day with a hangover or feeling lazy/tired from lack of sleep. I wasn't a very functioning/productive member of the family!!! I live far away and should really use the time I have with everyone wisely, NOT drunk and distant. This time I want to help my mom buy groceries for the condo, and cook, and clean. None of these things ever appealed to me before... I'd obviously rather be out having fun! But I feel like I want to be less selfish and more involved. I think my mom will faint, ha ha.
Then I thought of past beach vacations when I'd go out with my sister/friends all night and pass out on the beach the next day with a hangover or feeling lazy/tired from lack of sleep. I wasn't a very functioning/productive member of the family!!! I live far away and should really use the time I have with everyone wisely, NOT drunk and distant. This time I want to help my mom buy groceries for the condo, and cook, and clean. None of these things ever appealed to me before... I'd obviously rather be out having fun! But I feel like I want to be less selfish and more involved. I think my mom will faint, ha ha.
Guest
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 647
Originally Posted by lpnangel 
I want to learn how to ride a motorcycle. When I get my bills caught up, I am going to take lessons and buy myself a bike. My friend has a bike and he takes me on it all the time. One of my favorite things to do is ride down the beaches when it starts getting dark. I love the wind in my hair and face. Very relaxing.
heartofamama
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 70
after my 22 yr marriage 2 user, i'm so glad 2 b free.
but i'm not good @ finding the inspiration 2 have fun 4 me.
that seems 2 have gotten buried under all the coping i did for two decades.
while i struggled to give my son a nice life, i did nothing 4 myself.
now that it's over i just cry a lot & feel like sleeping the day away.
i still do all i can 4 my son 2 succeed, but it may be 2 late 4 me.
at 50yrs old, i now wish only 4 peace.
struggling to have fun just sounds ridiculous,
it's an oxymoron really.
i feel overwhelmed by almost anything, like 'parties'-- they just suck for me.
a few friends 2 play cards with would b nice, but i feel 2 weak 4 much more.
i was so isolated during my marriage i feel like i'm invisible now.
maybe it will get better on it's own.
i could never tell this 2 anyone else but u guys.
but i'm not good @ finding the inspiration 2 have fun 4 me.
that seems 2 have gotten buried under all the coping i did for two decades.
while i struggled to give my son a nice life, i did nothing 4 myself.
now that it's over i just cry a lot & feel like sleeping the day away.
i still do all i can 4 my son 2 succeed, but it may be 2 late 4 me.
at 50yrs old, i now wish only 4 peace.
struggling to have fun just sounds ridiculous,
it's an oxymoron really.
i feel overwhelmed by almost anything, like 'parties'-- they just suck for me.
a few friends 2 play cards with would b nice, but i feel 2 weak 4 much more.
i was so isolated during my marriage i feel like i'm invisible now.
maybe it will get better on it's own.
i could never tell this 2 anyone else but u guys.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Hardtofind,
I am retired AF and lived all over the world. Funny thing is that when I lived someplace I took the things locals thought of as touristy for granted. I had to return to some of them to, for example, visit the Alamo when I had previously lived there for 4 years in two tours. I always said I'd get a "Round Tuit" and never got one for it while it was right down the hwy from my house.
Since you named your city and in your profile show that you are a teacher and a musician I figured that you might have ignored some of the Acres of Diamonds in your own backyard. Or while drinking may have not gone back to them for decades.
Here is a link to attractions in Des Moines. If they are on that list someone thought enough of them to tell folks from other places about them. While I am not religious I love old churches/mosques/temples/sacred sites and monuments, and you have a gem there that is totally free. When was the last time, if ever, you toured your own Basilica of St. John
Here is a link to tourist attractions in Des Moines, many free or inexpensive. Go to the website in the link and start with everything on that short list of 16 places to see that you haven't visited in ten years or ever. Once done report back. Bet you have fun.
Des Moines Attractions - Des Moines, Iowa - *****! Travel
I am retired AF and lived all over the world. Funny thing is that when I lived someplace I took the things locals thought of as touristy for granted. I had to return to some of them to, for example, visit the Alamo when I had previously lived there for 4 years in two tours. I always said I'd get a "Round Tuit" and never got one for it while it was right down the hwy from my house.
Since you named your city and in your profile show that you are a teacher and a musician I figured that you might have ignored some of the Acres of Diamonds in your own backyard. Or while drinking may have not gone back to them for decades.
Here is a link to attractions in Des Moines. If they are on that list someone thought enough of them to tell folks from other places about them. While I am not religious I love old churches/mosques/temples/sacred sites and monuments, and you have a gem there that is totally free. When was the last time, if ever, you toured your own Basilica of St. John
Here is a link to tourist attractions in Des Moines, many free or inexpensive. Go to the website in the link and start with everything on that short list of 16 places to see that you haven't visited in ten years or ever. Once done report back. Bet you have fun.
Des Moines Attractions - Des Moines, Iowa - *****! Travel
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Eastern North Carolina
Posts: 86
walk, ride a bicycle, READ!, play chess with a friend or even checkers, watch a documentary, visit a plant nursery (if you do have 3 bucks you can buy a plant), care for your plants, clean out a closet, call a family member, visit an AA meeting, bake a cake (mix is cheap), organize the kitchen or your photos or bills, update your organizer, watch the sunset, make a very healthy dinner, take a long bath with music, WRITE a letter to someone, go to the library, help the little old lady next door... and smile!
thanks for letting me share!
thanks for letting me share!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I suggest you start with whatever you used to do sober...if that means going back to your childhood so be it. I reentlu spent an evening riding around town on my bike with a friend...I haven't don't that since 4th grade
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