Innerchild

Eight pages down!!! Ive always wanted to write a book so why not start now. It is very hard to deal with the raw emotions but since my therapist told me I need to write down my feelings I am hoping Ill be able to write out all those awful feelings that give me anxiety, depression, anger, resentment etc and will help heal me. I have to face these feelings without drinking. Got to be brave the writers who inspired me did it so can I.

PaleMale

I love a good story with a happy ending that leaves you begging for more! Good on you. Enjoy the journey.

Innerchild

Thanks Palemale ill let you know if I ever get published lol

Dee74

good luck with it, InnerChild

D

Innerchild

Thanks Dee. I am on page 17 already and only written over the span of two years from 2002-2004 when my life took a turn for the worst. I am shocking myself with the amount of binge drinking I did for pain and anxiety. I wrote about this awful panic attack I had that was so bad I became agoraphobic and every time I had to leave the house Id have to drink a beer or two or have a few shots. Id carry around an empty bottle filled with some liquor just in case i had a panic attack out of the house when I had to go out. I rarely drank it and threw it out most of the time because I didnt want to drink then I just used it as a form of medication knowing that its there if I had a panic attack. I was really good at hiding it. Most of the time when I drank it wasnt to get drunk it was to stop the anxiety. I hid it well and my family know I have problems with alcohol and very few friends but no one knows I used to carry around bottles of liquor to stop me from having a panic attack if I had one. If people who knew this read what ive written and done to myself during those years they would be completely shocked. I may have to change my name or claim its fiction lol

Anna

I'm glad the writing is going well.

Soberpotamus

Sounds like a good idea, Innerchild Just remember if you get overwhelmed remembering or re-living those times, it's ok to take a break... take a step back and just don't let it get to you.

By the way, I did something today that brought back some memories... I opened up a big box of old photos. Wow! It's amazing, the differences between then and now... both good & bad. I wouldn't want to go backwards, that's for sure

Innerchild

Thanks Anna. I agree SoberJennie that I wouldnt want to go back either but despite being an emotional wreck Ive noticed I have changed a lot through the years. I still have problems but more aware of them and trying to change them. I had some tears recalling the painful memories but I did have some laughs too remembering the fun. I sometimes miss going out with friends on a good not the morning after though. Also despite having negative and toxic people in my life I also had a lot of great supportive people as well it gave me gratitude for them. So maybe those who have told me to write my feelings down and I ignored them were right. I havent got into my childhood yet. I started at 2004 and then going up to 2011. I will then write about my childhood I am not ready to face that yet but it will take me awhile to get there though lol