aidadeb

I am fairly new to SR, which is why I am asking this question. I want to know what everyone thinks a relapse is actually. If you have been sober for a long time and you go to a Party and have one or two drinks and go back to sobriety...would that be considered a relapse?

MycoolFitz

I think that's open to interpretation. For me it is because it just reopens a door I shut and boarded up for a good reason. Maybe you quit again but another party can be just around the corner.

smacked

one purposeful swallow of liquor, teeny bump of coke , inhalation of heroin smoke (etc) would equal a relapse for me. My sobriety is precious to me, I don't play those kind of games.

NoFireWater

That's a good question. It's feeling for me like I need to stop altogether, so if I had even one drink I'd feel like I had blown it and would consider it a relapse. However, I'm also realistic that it may take me several tries to get it right. For me, taking the first drink would lead to getting drunk so it's easier not to go there. If I could stop at one or two and not get drunk I wouldn't need a username on SR

psilyguy

We admitted we were powerless over [alcohol] - that our lives had become unmanageable.

One day the grandpa was talking to his grandchild and told him every person has two wolves inside them, a nice one and a mean one.

The boy asked the grandpa "how do you know which one is inside you"?

The grandpa said "It's whichever one you decide to feed".

TheTinMan

For me there is no such thing is one drink. I believe I could go out tonight and have one beer. Tomorrow it would be 12 and it would get worse from there. One drink for me would be relapse.

aidadeb

Thank you everyone. I am just 5 days sober and still trying to figure things out. I didn't have a problem to stop drinking even though I came off a binge. I did feel sick and aweful, but when I binge, it's usually when I am really upset and want to escape. But if I have to sober up for work, etc., I don't have a problem stopping. In the past 5 days, I haven't really had any urges...it has been really easy. And normally when I do drink, I can controll it...many times I don't want more than one or two. I am not trying to kid myself, I know I have a problem, even if it's emotional. I am afraid to drink again and realize that I need to find other coping skills when I get upset. Like all of us, it is a very hard time with the economy and pressures and I find that if I drink, it takes the pressure off for a few days. I don't know if I will ever be able to drink again, but I am going to take it one day at a time and stay on SR...IT HAS HELPED SOOOOOO MUCH. I can't thank everyone enough for all the wonderful caring support and very wise words of wisdom.

EmeraldRose

I believe that relapse is not the drinking itself but the thought process leading up to that first drink. Finding out what makes you tick, why do you get upset or want to escape -what are you escaping from? When you know why you want to drink it will make it easier to work through the problem without taking that first drink. Think it through, work your prgram and play the tape to the end.
I have not relapsed since quitting in January...I am more aware of myself, my thoughts, consequences, my spirituality. Knowing what I know now...giving in and relapsing would be a very unproductive set back. Mistakes are given to us for a reason...so we can learn from them. There are certain mistakes that I've made that I have learned from. I remember them, try not to relive them, hold myself accountable and I move on.

Latte

For me? It's when I pick up and use/drink.

It starts way before the actual use for me though. I can feel that behavior sneaking up on me and I am grateful that I have friends/family etc. that can help me spot it when I can't or haven't.

aidadeb

Hi EmeraldRose,
I know that it is my coping skills that will send me running to alcohol. I am working had on learning new ways to cope. I am so grateful that I am not obsessing over alcohol and not having urges. I know that doesn't mean I don't have a problem...I do. Some times I don't know how I relapse, but with all the support I am getting here, I am hoping it won't happen again. Thank you for your insightful advice and good luck with your sobriety. HUGS

SASA

for me the problem is, whenever I take 1 sooner or later I end up drunk. If not on the day I had 1 it will be several weeks later. so I am trying to avoid that 1st drink. If I would take it for whatever reason I would need to reconsider my strength and what I am doing

Missy7

I think TinMan has the response that is most appropriate for me. I allow alcohol to run my life. It determines where I am, what I do with my money, what I look like, how I deal with life. It determines whether I do well at work, whether I succeed in my non-work ambitions, whether I have sex--and what kind of sex I have. It determines what I eat. It determines what I wear to bed. Whether the lawn gets mowed. What condition my house is in.

I too am capable of one night of very moderate drinking. So then the next night is okay too. And the next--throw in a shot or two because the weight of three days of beer is making it harder to have fun. Two shots (they multiply)--then I am in a cycle that I must continue just to make it.

So I guess your question is academic for me too.

I honestly believe that two or three beers, two glasses of wine, or one stiff drink in a 24 hour period is not a relapse.

Too bad it isn't possible.

loveon2legs

Lead not to temptation..........

Aysha

This comes up alot here. And I think everyone has their own opinion of it.
For me a relapse starts long before I use. A relapse for me is when I start getting those thoughts. Those old behaviors. If I start hanging around those old people, going around those old places. It just gets the ball rolling and 9 times out of 10, I end up right back to where I started. Using. So I have to stay aware of things like that. Because if even entertain the littlest idea of those old habits, It can be disasterous for me.
Some say using just a little, some say a full blown session is a relapse. Some would agree with me and say you dont even have to use to relapse.
They say it is progressive for a reason. Addiction and relapse.
Thats my take on it for me.

Spawn

Yes

Spawn

Recovery is total abstinence. An alcoholic can never drink again.
If one thinks he can.....he's playing with fire.

aidadeb

Again, thank you everyone for your opinions and good advice.
Missy7,
I got alot of insight from your thoughts. I am new to this and to me if on an occasion you have one or two drinks, I wouldn't consider that a relapse. But like you said...can that be done. I am working on all this with all of your help.
Aysha, I found your thoughts very thought provoking. You consider a relapse,when you start thinking about drinking. I guess in some ways that certainly is the beginning of the relapse.
Again, thank you all for helping me to learn more about this demon called alcohol.

sugarbear1

I've stopped a zillion times, even in one day.

My problem isn't stopping, my problem is Staying Stopped!

north

If you had one or two drinks willfully under those sort of circumstances, even if you did not get a 'buzz' etc., I would consider it a relapse.

And, I think one of the keyword would be 'willful". There are sometimes cases where one might unintentionally or accidentally consume an alcoholic beverage or dessert - and I'd argue both the intent as well as the probable amount shouldn't count as a relapse.

I believe some people try the 'one or two drinks' as a means of testing the waters - to see whether they might make it successfully as social drinkers. And, perhaps for the first few times they attempt it, they are successful. However, if they are like most of the people on this board, it is only a matter of time before "one or two drinks" leads to 3,5,7,10...20 drinks and it clearly becomes 'back to the drawing board' time for them.

nodl5

step one can be hard for many people.