Back for another swing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 96
Back for another swing
Howdy all, I have been here before and was greatly helped and guided for a period of sobriety. For the last year I have been slowly going down the all familiar road many of us know so well. Starting with a few drinks to the old familiar fifth of Vodka. The trigger is travel for me, which I do a lot of ... a business trip to Las Vegas was the real start of the slide. So a year later and a few half ass attempts of being sober for 4/5 days I am fulfilling the self-fulfilling prophecy. I have removed the trigger, today is the first time I have been sober at 2 in the afternoon for at least six weeks ... withdrawal is so much fun at work .. and have been planning next steps to get my head in the game not just quit drinking. It's early, but I have a new determination as I have let some issues in my life fester and I am a better person than how Mr. Smirnoff changes me into a wretched agitated individual. I have read into the eastern teachings and their programs which I am greatly drawn to, they have a weekly meeting I have set myself a goal to be there sober. After the first relapse, there were several before I really got going again, I realized that anger and shame do not help the process ... it is another learning step on this road of enlightenment. A humble tale, but I feel I should share as there is much kindness and wisdom here.....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Welcome back. I myself have gone down that road. I thought I had some time in, I thought I had some answers--big misthinking. I now not only keep myself sober I keep myself open. Each moment is a fresh possibilty. In the words of Suzuki Roshi "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few". My best to you.
Back.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 11
Welcome back Holdfold. I'm a new poster here myself and relatively new in sobriety, coming up on 90 days. I've tried getting sober for the past several years but travel was a big one for me too. Reflecting on it though, I think it was just my own twisted rationalization that I was away from the wife (who frowned on it) and could get away with it, even after proving to myself I would always carry on after getting home time and again.
I've been told that a relapse is a planned drunk (or high) that we set the stage for well in advance. Reflecting on it, I can see it, as I would think in the back of my mind of setting times early enough for calling into home when I was gone, before getting all slurred, and how many I could drink on the plane (or car) on the way back without arousing suspicion. I guess I'm just trying to suggest to take a look at what's going on before the trip if/when you travel and go heavily armed with the support/phone numbers you need, big book (if you do AA), etc. I've made it through a few business trips in these 90 days and made it unscathed. I know so little about sobriety that I just pray to make today, so there's that method too. Whatever works.
Good luck
I've been told that a relapse is a planned drunk (or high) that we set the stage for well in advance. Reflecting on it, I can see it, as I would think in the back of my mind of setting times early enough for calling into home when I was gone, before getting all slurred, and how many I could drink on the plane (or car) on the way back without arousing suspicion. I guess I'm just trying to suggest to take a look at what's going on before the trip if/when you travel and go heavily armed with the support/phone numbers you need, big book (if you do AA), etc. I've made it through a few business trips in these 90 days and made it unscathed. I know so little about sobriety that I just pray to make today, so there's that method too. Whatever works.
Good luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 96
Thank you all for the warm welcome. Stuck you are right in what you say and that the 'program' of this behavior is that it rationalizes itself into a circle and presto you are drinking again. Yesterday was a better day as I managed to stay sober until 7 at night, a first in the last three months, 'only' half a pint. Here comes the rational again ... tapering worked for me last time over a two day period. I have something planned this evening to add distraction to the tools.
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