Is it ever possible to be a social drinker again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New Hope, PA
Posts: 114
Is it ever possible to be a social drinker again
I want to know if anybody feels they could ever be a social drinker again? It is unfortunate that our society puts so much emphasis on drinking. Weddings, Funerals, Parties, Holidays, All Occasions we celebrate with alcohol. Business meetings and cocktail parties almost always have alcohol. And if you don't drink it's like there is something wrong with you, instead of something wrong with drinking. I have been a very heavy drinker on and off...becoming more on than off. I know I can't keep drinking, but I wonder if I ever could be a social drinker again. I had a cousin who had a serious herion problem. She got pregnant and stopped using immediately. She now is a social drinker...never gets drunk. So what do all of you out there think about that? And does anyone know of anyone who was able to return to being a social drinker?
Guest
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 647
I am sure most on this forum will agree. No. Unless you are not an alcoholic, you can never be a social drinker. Sorry if it is not the answer you wanted to hear. This is from experience. I was 10 years sober. 5 years now being a vodka drunk. I know I can't even have a beer. You may be able to for a short time, but then it comes back with a vengeance.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
I think its a sticky question. I'd ask, why if drinking has been a problem for you, and you have a history of heavy drinking, would you want or contemplate becoming a "social" drinker? If you were unable to consume carrots or orange juice without ongoing negative consequences, would you bother with wanting to be a social carrot eater or orange juice drinker, or would you just remove them from your diet? I think the obssession with social drinking is one of the key indicators of a problem drinker. The fact that someone goes from herion to become a social drinker is not the issue. She didn't go from being an alcoholic to a social drinker. I don't no anyone who has, certainly not me. I think for myself as long as I held out the belief that I could drink "normally" I set myself up for failure and misery. For me it is so liberating to simply remove the concept of any drinking from my life and staying sober than it is to try to walk the tightrope of someday becoming a responsible drinker. Of course, everyone chooses their own path and will do what they will do, but you asked. Whatever you decide for you I hope it works out the best.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
It's not possible for this alkie, and I've tried many times. Not only can I not be a social drinker, I don't want to be a social drinker. Not interested in drinking at all since my life is going so well without it.
Edwardm
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 80
In my case; I don't think so. One drink always led to two, then three, then the next day. At my age (49) it may be maturity, but I don't care one bit what others think anymore. I am very tired of being drunk every night. I look back over the years and ask, "what good has it done me". I'm only eight days in but I'm already trying to picture myself on holidays without a drink. Thanksgiving was one big drunk, beer for the football games, wine while cooking and eating, cocktail in the evening. This year I want to be sober.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
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Not possible, IMO. And honestly one of the hallmarks of my own addiction was my obsession with trying to make it 'ok'.
A normal person swears off drink after a bad hangover. Only an alcoholic fights tooth and nail to keep it in their life.
A normal person swears off drink after a bad hangover. Only an alcoholic fights tooth and nail to keep it in their life.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
Trust me, there are MANY people at those events not drinking.
Alcoholics always assume that everyone is drinking but at any social gathering, there are always a number of people who are not drinking alcohol.
(Funerals? Business meetings? Trust me--you do not want to be even social drinking there!)
Alcoholics always assume that everyone is drinking but at any social gathering, there are always a number of people who are not drinking alcohol.
(Funerals? Business meetings? Trust me--you do not want to be even social drinking there!)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by SSIL75 
A normal person swears off drink after a bad hangover. Only an alcoholic fights tooth and nail to keep it in their life.
I guess I'm just questioning what "normal" or "social" drinking even is. It seems to me that everyone who drinks experiences some hangovers and negative consequences, does that mean they're all alcoholics?? (I do know some people who literally only have one drink, if they drink at all. But I'm talking about "social" drinkers who go out and drink a few drinks, sometimes more, but don't seem to have alcohol wreck havoc with their lives, like alcoholics do.)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by Eddiebuckle
If the person in question was "just" a heavy drinker, it's possible. If the person is an alcoholic, not a chance.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Can a heroin addict recover from their addiction then use heroin socially? and why would they want to? I personally do know of someone (my father) who was a drunk for 40 yrs, and quit drinking, then was able to have that occassional beer; but was he an alcoholic? he was definetly a problem drinker and a heavy drinker. Like the above poster said once you know you are "allergic" to something why would you want to try and train your metabolism to not be allergic just accept that you can't drink and move on.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by aidadeb
...society puts so much emphasis on drinking. Weddings, Funerals, Parties, Holidays, All Occasions we celebrate with alcohol. Business meetings and cocktail parties almost always have alcohol. And if you don't drink it's like there is something wrong with you, instead of something wrong with drinking.
And I have yet to have anyone comment negatively about my not drinking. If you are in a situation where that is happening, where alcohol dominates the occasion, you would be better off removing yourself from them.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
For the record, I'm not trying to be obstinate with my questions, I have just been asking myself a lot of these same questions and trying to figure out the answers.
I guess I had never wondered if I was a social drinker, or tried to be a social drinker, until I realized I may have a big problem with alcohol. And once I realized that, it's like I also realized I don't want to be a social drinker. I mean, I would like to for the sake of image-- not to be the odd woman out, to fit in at events, etc. But one drink does nothing for me. Or, it loosens me up (two drinks definitely loosen me up) but then I want to keep drinking. If I don't keep drinking, I feel constricted, and like darn I wish I could drink more but no one else is and I don't want to call attention to myself. And if I do drink more, then I go past the level of social drinking and instead cross into drunk party girl mode, which I don't want to be anymore. So what is the purpose of trying to socially drink?
I was out the other night with a bunch of people who were drinking and one of them told me to have a beer instead of my water. I instinctively said, oh I can't just have a beer. I'll end up having twenty. That's a slight exaggeration, but it's either one (or wishing I could have more, which is frustrating) or maybe four or five or six, and I knew that in that environment, where it was acceptable or even encouraged to get drunk because everyone else was drunk and offering drinks, I would have the six, and end up staying late and making a fool out of myself and regretting it and being hungover or depressed the next day.
Maybe I just don't hang out with many truly "social" drinkers. Most of the people I know/hang out with seem to drink either to excess or not at all. (For the record, the girl I told that to started to laugh and said she was the same way... she always says she just wants to go out for one or two drinks, and before she knows it, she's nodding off at the bar, drunk... she said it as a funny joke, as I was joking, but it's actually quite sad, for both of us.) Once in awhile, especially if they tied one on the night before, or have something important the next day, they will just have a drink or two, but usually, if we are out drinking or even just at a barbeque or watching sports at home, etc., they drink to get drunk or at least heavily tipsy. Does this mean that most of the people I hang out with are alcoholics?? And I notice this about people not in my social circle... the ones who are inside at the bar during a pool party, wanting to take shots, and then bringing mixed drinks outside... those are the people I always hung with, could relate to at parties, even if we weren't friends. So maybe I'm realizing a lot more people are alcoholics or problem drinkers than I used to think. And it's not that I'm trying to compare myself to them or worry about their drinking, it just makes me realize how unaware I was of alcohol's role, and how pervasive the problem is, even though most people (including my former self) don't recognize it as a problem and it almost seems that at least in my circle of peers, "problem" drinking is considered "normal" drinking! This may mean I purposefully surrounded myself with other problem drinkers (not intentionally), or it may mean that most people who go out/ go to parties and bar are problem drinkers, I'm not sure!
I guess I had never wondered if I was a social drinker, or tried to be a social drinker, until I realized I may have a big problem with alcohol. And once I realized that, it's like I also realized I don't want to be a social drinker. I mean, I would like to for the sake of image-- not to be the odd woman out, to fit in at events, etc. But one drink does nothing for me. Or, it loosens me up (two drinks definitely loosen me up) but then I want to keep drinking. If I don't keep drinking, I feel constricted, and like darn I wish I could drink more but no one else is and I don't want to call attention to myself. And if I do drink more, then I go past the level of social drinking and instead cross into drunk party girl mode, which I don't want to be anymore. So what is the purpose of trying to socially drink?
I was out the other night with a bunch of people who were drinking and one of them told me to have a beer instead of my water. I instinctively said, oh I can't just have a beer. I'll end up having twenty. That's a slight exaggeration, but it's either one (or wishing I could have more, which is frustrating) or maybe four or five or six, and I knew that in that environment, where it was acceptable or even encouraged to get drunk because everyone else was drunk and offering drinks, I would have the six, and end up staying late and making a fool out of myself and regretting it and being hungover or depressed the next day.
Maybe I just don't hang out with many truly "social" drinkers. Most of the people I know/hang out with seem to drink either to excess or not at all. (For the record, the girl I told that to started to laugh and said she was the same way... she always says she just wants to go out for one or two drinks, and before she knows it, she's nodding off at the bar, drunk... she said it as a funny joke, as I was joking, but it's actually quite sad, for both of us.) Once in awhile, especially if they tied one on the night before, or have something important the next day, they will just have a drink or two, but usually, if we are out drinking or even just at a barbeque or watching sports at home, etc., they drink to get drunk or at least heavily tipsy. Does this mean that most of the people I hang out with are alcoholics?? And I notice this about people not in my social circle... the ones who are inside at the bar during a pool party, wanting to take shots, and then bringing mixed drinks outside... those are the people I always hung with, could relate to at parties, even if we weren't friends. So maybe I'm realizing a lot more people are alcoholics or problem drinkers than I used to think. And it's not that I'm trying to compare myself to them or worry about their drinking, it just makes me realize how unaware I was of alcohol's role, and how pervasive the problem is, even though most people (including my former self) don't recognize it as a problem and it almost seems that at least in my circle of peers, "problem" drinking is considered "normal" drinking! This may mean I purposefully surrounded myself with other problem drinkers (not intentionally), or it may mean that most people who go out/ go to parties and bar are problem drinkers, I'm not sure!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 1,149
I dont think alcoholics can ever become social drinkers.
I know I can't and believe me I tried for many years,
There never really was anything social about my drinking habits in the first place.
I drank to get hammered.
One or two drinks in a social setting?
What on earth would be the point of that?
That is like playing russian roulette.
I know I can't and believe me I tried for many years,
There never really was anything social about my drinking habits in the first place.
I drank to get hammered.
One or two drinks in a social setting?
What on earth would be the point of that?
That is like playing russian roulette.
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Nope. Not a chance. No way!
I've been with my wife for 26 years. She's a social drinker. It was only after quitting last year that I realized it takes her 45 minutes to drink a beer. I'd never noticed that before!! All our friends are social drinkers too, which I hadn't noticed either. They all take about 45 minutes to suck back each of the 3, maybe 4 beers they will have all evening at a dinner party. I was out pacing them all 3 to 1 and had never noticed because the only thing on my radar was if there was a drink in my hand and where the next one was.
Their brains are hard wired differently than mine. There are no fireworks in theirs when they drink. They could take it or leave it, wouldn't miss it, and don't plan ahead to make sure there's going to be "enough" booze at a party, or that there will be more at home to "finish things off right".
I drank to get drunk the first time I tasted alcohol as a teenager, and nothing changed in the following 35 years.
For me, just one drink will equal many, many more...
I've been with my wife for 26 years. She's a social drinker. It was only after quitting last year that I realized it takes her 45 minutes to drink a beer. I'd never noticed that before!! All our friends are social drinkers too, which I hadn't noticed either. They all take about 45 minutes to suck back each of the 3, maybe 4 beers they will have all evening at a dinner party. I was out pacing them all 3 to 1 and had never noticed because the only thing on my radar was if there was a drink in my hand and where the next one was.
Their brains are hard wired differently than mine. There are no fireworks in theirs when they drink. They could take it or leave it, wouldn't miss it, and don't plan ahead to make sure there's going to be "enough" booze at a party, or that there will be more at home to "finish things off right".
I drank to get drunk the first time I tasted alcohol as a teenager, and nothing changed in the following 35 years.
For me, just one drink will equal many, many more...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
I think I could drive myself crazier if I focused on social vs problem vs alcoholic drinking or tried to figure out what's up with other people's drinking behaviors. What's the point but a futile exercise in ultimate frustration. For me drinking is a problem that I no longer need or want in my life. What I'm labeled, what other people think, or what other people do is completely beside the point. I'm sober for me because this is the place I need to be. Its enough, its all good.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New Hope, PA
Posts: 114
Hi Everyone,
Thank you for all your input and advice. Fritz you made a great point...if I was allergic to carrots would I continue to eat them...probably not. Another great point is alcohol is not a big deal to a social drinker...but it is a very big deal to the alcoholic. Today is my first day sober after a 5 day binge. I want today to be the first of many. I am new to this site and having all of you made it much easier to get through half of today. I plan to see a client later and keep busy these first few days to be sure I don't drink. Thank you all...I think all of you are going to keep me from drinking. I have learned so much from all of you in such a short time. I am determined to stay sober. THANK YOU!!!
Thank you for all your input and advice. Fritz you made a great point...if I was allergic to carrots would I continue to eat them...probably not. Another great point is alcohol is not a big deal to a social drinker...but it is a very big deal to the alcoholic. Today is my first day sober after a 5 day binge. I want today to be the first of many. I am new to this site and having all of you made it much easier to get through half of today. I plan to see a client later and keep busy these first few days to be sure I don't drink. Thank you all...I think all of you are going to keep me from drinking. I have learned so much from all of you in such a short time. I am determined to stay sober. THANK YOU!!!
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