Programmatic

To rephrase the question;

Can someone who has admitted powerlessness over alcohol someday discover new found power over alcohol?

I think not.

Fallow

This question is one I have struggled with for years. Countless examples of myself have proven to myself that if I am trying to control it I am definitely out of control. It sucks to admit it to myself, the idea of that cold beer on a hot day seems benign enough but for me it would really be a cold 12 pack and some shots.

SDSurfn

For me, I have finally lost the "romanticized" notion of alcohol.

It took me 28 long years and every last drink to finally get me to this point of clarity.

Because for me, I know, a cold beer on a hot summer day will lead me (sooner rather than later) to a very dark place.

I have proven this to myself over and over and over again.

So that cold beer is no longer appealing. Nor is the after work cocktail (or 10, or 15) that I always thought I was entitled to.

I give thanks everyday that I have received this gift of clarity.

-SD

Eddiebuckle

If you are an alcoholic, you might be able to go out and have one or two drinks after quitting for awhile. But an alcoholics compulsion to drink will eventually win out over any social, legal, or self imposed boundaries. I have not personally relapsed but in my 18+ months I have seen it numerous times. The folks that make it back all seem to have the same story: I thought I could, but in an amazingly short amount of time I was right back to where I was absolutely out of control. That's what makes an alcoholic an alcoholic.

Stang

I never was a social drinker.
I like that analogy! I've noticed even non alcoholics put a lot of importance on being able to drink...WHY?

DayTrader

consideration: it doesn't matter. what if all of us "could" or "couldn't" .....would that have any bearing on YOUR reality? Not really.

And besides, as has already been pointed out several times, for a true alcoholic, "social drinking" is like jacking o** and stopping riiiiight before you have your orgasm....yanno? Who the heck would want to do THAT?



I think you'll find, as you spend some time in sobriety....."they" don't really care if you're drinking or not. Well, I suppose in high school or college maybe they care......but really..... adults could care less. Nobody cares if you're drinking at a bar, at a wedding, at a work function, or any of those things. WE ALKIES CARE THOUGH, that's for DARN sure. I used to believe it was a social requirement to have some drinks..... lol... just another piece of my insanity at work - doing anything it could to justify keeping the habit alive.


I know several "qualifying" Narcotics Anonymous members who can and do drink "socially." I even know a NA guy, who'll tell you he's powerless over alcohol but he's not a real alcoholic.........because he can generally keep himself from starting his next first drink but once he starts drinking it takes him back to the crack house........and that he's a real narcotic addict but not a real alcoholic. I suppose there are even some real alkies who can take drugs..........but I don't know any of them and everyone I've known who's done that eventually went back out full-bore and got WAY worse.......

I think you get my point though... it really doesn't matter. MY truth, for me, is that I CAN'T be a social drinker (not that I'd reeeeeally ever want to be - I want to be a drunk with no consequences. LOL).

Bottom line is, once you get a taste for what solid recovery is like.... the idea of going back to drinking sound rather sophomoric and pointless.

dingding

This is a great thread and has reminded me of some of the reasons i stopped drinking. I couldn't keep on asking myself if I was a social drinker or an alcoholic. One of the benefits of not drinking is not having to ask myself these questions. I still don't know the answers. I don't need to know. After 6 months not drinking it still feels awkward not drinking during social events. However leaving sober and getting a good nights sleep is a great feeling. My friends don't get it but are getting used to it.

ACT10Npack

This is a question I ask myself many time. Is it possible yes but is it worth putting a lot of work to get yourself at that state of mind, letting go of the pass binge drinking or drunken remembering nights or drinking because your depress or bored? It's really hard to do and it will be a lot hard to get yourself at that point if your life. I think the most of us its not worth trying and for others it will be.

Now is it possible for an alcoholic to go back to social drinking. YES! But it will be harder to do the that then just staying sober.

Dee74

Great thread aidadeb -thanks

I have 20 years of trying that says it's not possible

The problem is I may have the best intent in the world - but as soon as alcohol enters my system all bets are off...I never know what the consequences will be...I cede control to my addiction....

Pigtails - I spent a lot of years listening to others and especially comparing myself to others.

I realise now how futile that was - the thing I should have been focusing on was what does alcohol do to me? how is it affecting me? what problems is it causing me?

When faced with the bald truth of the consequences of my drinking, why can't I give it up?

Only you can answer those kinds of questions.

D

nodl5

if one ponders the question for one's self, probably not.

--PP. 30 AA Big Book

hnicoleanderson

True, if one can drink socially without binging, he or she was not an alcoholic. This is what defines the difference between a normie and an alcoholic.

hnicoleanderson

Sorry that I don't have time to go back and read all your posts but one question: what support system (besides this forum) do you have in palce to help with abstinence?

vInDaLoO

Reading threads or articles like this anywhere always get the beast inside my mind restless , so maybe I avoid any threads or snippets anywhere on the internet about such things as "Social drinking" Because for me being an alcoholic social drinking is worse than abstinence, a form of never ending torture. Rant over

JennaRose

I go to group meetings at an outpatient rehab center and AA meetings

Pigtails

If this question was to me (I think it was because you quoted me), none really at the moment besides SR and talking to other SR members.

I went to AA the first time I tried not drinking... at first it felt great and I met some awesome people. There is one woman who texted me to see how I was doing a while back and inspired me to try again. Another woman totally took me under her wing and invited me to non-drinking get-togethers etc., and I feel I should probably call both of these women and ask for help.

But then AA all of a sudden felt really ovewhelming to me, admitting I was an alcoholic forever... I had uncontrollable emotions/panic attacks. I struggled with the issue of a higher power because I'm an agnostic/secular humanist. I started to feel grumpy and depressed about everything and felt like I was better off drinking (I know rationally I'm not). The slogans and prayers felt cult-like to me and I was thinking, I'd rather drink than spend my time in church basements reminiscing about drinking and trying hard not to drink (I know rationally I'd rather not). My head just gets in the way... I want to be normal and forget all about this problem.

I have actually been trying to find a higher power so I can go back to AA and try it again. I pray even though I don't really believe in God... and that seems to help my anxiety and adjust my attitude. I have started doing yoga and meditation, which also helps. I've started listening to Christian music I liked when I was younger... it's comforting and inspirational and I try to believe but I just can't get past all the miracle stuff, like the Virgin birth and crucifiction... I just can't believe it. So I am trying to find my way on my own but it has been hard. I guess I should go back to AA and just say, this all seems crazy to me, but I'm trying. Because at least in AA I met people who gave me hope (as I have on SR) and I felt like I belonged except for the religious/ritual stuff, and it seemed the people really cared about me and wanted to help and had helped themselves.

sobermax

No. Not a chance.

onlythetruth

[QUOTE=Pigtails;3048491] So I am trying to find my way on my own but it has been hard. I guess I should go back to AA and just say, this all seems crazy to me.....QUOTE]

But AA isn't the only support group available to you, Pigtails. I'm not trying to discourage you from going to AA--by all means, go if you find it helpful--but it's important to realize that your choices aren't "go to AA" or "go it alone". There are several secular support groups available including SMART Recovery, in which I am an active volunteer. SMART is the largest of the secular programs and there may be face to face meetings near you; if not, SMART has 18 online meetings every week. You might want to give it a try and see if it "fits" you better, and there's nothing wrong with using bits and pieces of both programs.

OTT

Boleo

I would only agree to it if you took the "return to" part out. Once a pickle there is no going back to being a cucumber.

Perhaps someday science will invent a pill to make a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. However, in my case, my alcoholic brain would want to know just how normal I could get with the thing... LOL!

ETA

Yes! My thoughts exactly...

aidadeb

Hi Dee,
Thank you and everyone for the great words of wisdom. I am happy to announce that I was able to stay sober today and resume my usual activities. I'm in bed with no alcohol in the house, so there will be no drinking today and hopefully tomorrow and forever. The last couple of days I have been on SR and it has helped tremendously. Big Thanks to All