For3Angels

Hello to all I just found this site today and I am looking for some reference and insight into this deceiver alcohol. Any and all support and wisdom is appreciated but I sometimes feel being this young mother in this Mommy world really isolates me and would love the input of other mothers. I have 3 beautiful, amazing, and exhausting little angel girls ages 3, 2, and 3 months. They are my every blessing and the lights of my life. For my babies I am taking a step back and looking at my drinking patterns because I do not want this problem to sneak up me when its too late. So to introduce myself my drinking has seemed to just have exploded since my third daughter was born. Suddenly the 7 oclock wine was mandatory and necessary in just 3 short months. Once the last sippy cup was washed, the sea of fisher price, disney princesses, and dress up slippers were back where they belonged the only way I seem to be able to center and find grown up me again is in that glass. Looking back I guess my drinking patterns weren't always healthy but they were never " the I need that drink until recently." I got married really young and still partied that first year at 21-22 had my first daughter at 23 and haven't had many no pregnant, nursing months since. Now, Suddenly I'm this Mommy who throws back an entire bottle or more most every night. Sure I stop for a week here when we travel or if something else is going on but if the routine is typical I'm headed to the fridge once the last baby is tucked in and the last chore is complete. This is not normal and so I havent drank this week. My husband is a precious man who I have been with since I was 15. He doesnt drink so doesnt pay attention. He thinks I am fine since I never seem drunk, the house is taken care of, dinner is cooked......... but I just have that feeling that I need to handle this now rather than later. Why does it sometimes feel that as women we need to be everything for everyone? To be honest one of the reasons I want to stop drinking is like everything else I feel I need to be the perfect version of every role in my job description, women, wife, daughter, and Mommy. Gotta figure out who she is without pinot grigio ......

Latte

Hi there! Welcome to SR. My children are a little older now (9 and 12.5) but I got clean and sober 5 years ago. I'm sorry you are struggling. You aren't alone.

I know how hard it can be to get to any kind of meeting with children. There is a wonderful chat on here.

I hope you will continue to post and read.

bellakeller

Welcome!

I've got two little ones and got sober 2 years ago. Mine are 5 and 7 now. You're right to get some help with this. I waited too long until I scared my little kids passing out while alone in the house a few times before I got some help. And even the help I got was upon the insistence of others in my life. So sounds like you are giving yourself a great start.

Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had. I just didn't realize how important it was to take care of my kids' mother. I let alcohol be my survival mode and letting a poison be your care taker is just insane.

After many a trial and error, including messing around with AA and a stint in inpatient rehab, it turns out I need a village to stay sober. So now I do AA (without the messing around part- I take all the suggestions now), I've got a good therapist, take care of my health. I had put all these things last before but now it's critical to put sobriety first. Without it my kids do not have a mother who can be present for them, making good, sane choices on their behalf. Oh, I also have a part time job, which helps tremendously on many levels.

I do not recommend waiting until something terrible happens. I live with the guilt every day.

Best of luck to you, sistah. It's a journey and we're here for you.

Much love.

landminesgirl

Hey! Welcome! I was a SAHM to two young ones (15 months and 3 years) until 3 months ago - I recently went back to work. I will tell anyone who will listen that staying at home with young children is the hardest job on the planet, period. The year I took off after my daughter was born (she's 15 months now) I drank at least a bottle of wine a night. Unlike you, I started before my kids went to bed. My first glass was at approximately 5pm, when I felt it was "okay" to start. I would have a glass or two while making dinner, another with dinner, and at least one more while cleaning up.

This site is fantastic. I started my journey towards recovery on July 6th, had two "slips" since then (concert, family/friends in town) but for the most part am thrilled with my "new" life being sober. I'm a MUCH BETTER MOM, hands down. I'm also a better wife, better person. . .

Not drinking won't make you a perfect mom, but drinking will most definitely take you farther away from being the best you (mom, wife, whatever) you can be.

snoopy1973

I am right there with you! My girls are 8, 5, and 3 and recently joined in July as well. You're smart to realize this could turn into a real problem - I let mine get out of control Welcome!

Symmetry

Hi there! Yes, it appears that there are many of us here are parents. There's a few dads floating around who have shared their experience with adding alcohol to parenting. We are not alone. You have just stumbled upon an amazing group of people who are here to support and encourage. Welcome!

Anna

My children are grown now, but I know that trying to be super-Mom, as well as super-everything, led to my downfall. I became more and more depressed because I was slowly losing my identity as a person. It's good that you are aware you have a problem and want to stop drinking before things get worse. Addiction is a progressive disease and things will get worse, unless you stop drinking.

I had to let go of my preconceived ideas of what a mother and wife 'should' be. In fact, I had to let go of all my 'shoulds' and figure things out. When I started taking a hard look at myself in the early days of recovery, I was shocked that some of the beliefs I had about myself (both good and bad) were simply not true. I let go of it all, and recovery has been an amazing journey.

Dee74

welcome to SR For3Angels

you'll find a lot of support here

We even have a moms and dads thread you may be interested in reading too:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...who-drink.html

D

lma249

Hi For3Angels,

I don't drink, but I did pills for a long time. I'm a mom of a 3 year old boy.

I can relate to your post so I wanted to say hi. I'm trying to figure out who I am as a mom with out the pills.

If you want to talk, message me. Good luck to you!

Vege

I am a mother of five and i know what you are talking about ... i wish i had gotten a hold of my drinking problems long, long ago, before my kids have had to deal with a drunk mother, me hiding glasses of wine, me stumbling around drunk, passed out while the kids are out watching tv until 2 in the morning.

i am back to AA today for the first time in three years and I need to be here. I could use some help and encouragement. I went to a meeting this morning and i feel at home in an AA meeting, safe and secrue. I don't feel that way in the "regular" world. Times have been really hard for me over the last three years. My husband moved out, i had to sell our house with him gone. i moved to a new house, got a job, but just lost that job last week. All these things are my pity party as to why I had to drink a whole bottle of wine last night.

The happiest I have ever been in my life is when I was in AA, going to a meeting everyday. It has a way of making me focus on all the things in life to be grateful for. Instead, lately I have slid into a world of depression and loss... feeling like I am getting older and that all my dreams are dying so hard. I feel like I am running out of sunshine...out of energy to fight all the inevitable struggles of life. What's the use in dreaming because nothing works out anyway? that's sort of been what has been driving me down this lonely road that only gets more lonely with drinking.
Someone once told me that I really loved my kids, I wouldn't drink.

Latte

Hi Vege, welcome. I am so glad you are here. Please keep posting. SR is a wonderful support.

WakeUpSarah

Hello. My daughter is two, and to deal with her diagnosis of autism and my husband's deployments, I let my drinking get waaay out of control. I've been sober 8 days now. I wish I had been as smart as the two of you, and gotten help when it was just wine. I don't think that the world understands how stressful it is to be a stay-at-home-Mom, especially one who doesn't get the help she needs. There is still that stereotype of the "Mom who can do it all! SuperMom!" and for some reason we are all unfairly upheld to that standard. Trust me, alcohol just adds to the stress. The sneaking, the lies, the worrying, the guilt-- none of it's worth it.
We all need to learn to be strong and accept our mothering faults. Let's just do the best we can do, and learn new ways to cope and reward ourselves. Right now, I'm really enjoying reading and gaming after I put my daughter to bed, rather than just passing out on the couch.
Good luck to us all!

scootinbabe

Hello! I'm a mom of three--11 year old twins and a 7 year old. I've been in the program for 5 years and thru the grace of my hp, sober since the kids were 6 and 2. Sobriety has been the best gift I could ever have given myself and watching (and remembering) and being there for my kids the ultimate reward.

That said, I could lose it at any moment. I still need to do the same thing we all need to do: not drink nor pick up. It's a daily struggle. Particularly when I am the only "grownup" in the house and begin to isolate. Reaching out, calling people, asking for help--these are things that dont come easily to me, so I found this forum a great place to go when I felt the urge. There are people here who go through the exact struggle I do every day. For me, AA really works as well.

You are doing the right thing. Just reading and posting are big steps in a good direction! Keep coming back.

Latte

It was so nice to learn that I didn't have to be super Mom, I just had to be Mom. Food on the table, clean underwear and present and in the moment. It took me so long to figure that out. The weight off my shoulders-priceless.