Englishrose70

Why are you not drinking?
Go on have one, done be such a party pooper!
Dont be so boring?
You can drive on one?
Go on just have a drop?
Come on life's too short, got to enjoy it whilst you can

I heard all this and more last night at a function I had to go to. Boy it was tough, people really didnt like the fact I wasnt drinking.

What did they think I was doing? Judging them, counting their drinks, feeling superior?

No I was fighting my own internal battle with the beast like they will never know. But one thing is certain, drinkers feel threatened when you dont drink.

I got through.

MycoolFitz

I think, deep down, many people question their own drinking, have hidden fears, doubts, discomfort. If you surround yourself with drinkers you assure you are in the norm and, therefore, normal. You do what you do and don't sweat it. Some people could stand a little discomfort. Actually I kind of enjoy being sober around drinkers. Guess I'm just a little boat rocker.

Soberpotamus

WTG Englishrose! Yes, I remember feeling like non-drinkers were surely missing out... But then again, I'm sure I was so selfish in my own drinking... that I probably cared less what anyone else was doing.

edeneen

hmmmm, well in my case, so far, friends who still drink have been supportive of me- no pressure at all...

rae123

whooohooo!!!!!

you did amazing!

Supercrew

Went to a HS reunion Saturday, and had diet coke all night. I was known as a hard partying drinker in HS, and only one person asked what I was drinking. I said diet coke, and she said "what? hard night last night?", I said "no I don't drink anymore", she then went into a rant of how she couldn't live without alcohol. I told her to enjoy her drink and moved on.

I then attended a party for my neice yesterday at a Bar/restaurant where everyone was loaded before 4PM. The two biggest drinkers in the bunch disappeared to the bar section, and when I asked where they were both of their wives said "where do you think they are? where they always are....in the effin bar!" Then they went on to talk crap about their drunk husbands as they drank their wine.

Needless to say I left both events early with my happy wife in tow, and I felt awesome and empowered by knowing I wasn't a slave to alcohol anymore. A great weekend all the way around.

Being a non-drinker is really an empowering feeling, and I don't look down on others who drink, I just consider myself lucky that I choose to live sober. It's funny, because where I used to be the guy who no one could ever stop from drinking, I'm now the guy who no one and nothing could make me drink.

Both events were fun and I remembered everything and I woke up the following day feeling great! Sobriety has been a true gift for me!

Lionne

Congrats on getting through that evening sober! Yes, it seems like drinking people like fellow drinkers and have a problem with sober witnesses.

I've experienced some of these remarks too in earlier sobriety, and it bothered me more in the beginning of sobriety than now.

I think with people that you entertain friendships with, just either adjust and see you as a non-drinker because they enjoy your company anways, or they might be just drinking buddies nad there is not much in common anymore. But sometimes, one can't avoid social functions where even random acquaintances feel the need to comment on your non-drinking.

Most of the time I just said: Hey, don't worry, I'm able to also make a comlete ass of myself without drinking. Just wait until I start dancing ;P This most of the gives me a few laughs and people let it be.

But I leave when it's getting too late and people start really to drink heavily because I just don't feel comfortable and the conversations turn pretty nonsensical (to a sober person anyways).

Englishrose70

I also felt empowered supercrew and the more I was cajoled the more I was resolute.

I am waiting for it, (we live in a small village)! "She's pregnant, got to be, I bet thats why she's not drinking", well I so hope in 9 months time I am still not drinking but not for that reason lol

Thanks Rae, we hit 2 weeks buddy, how are you feeling?

Supercrew

Great job ER70!

It's almost like I have come full circle. Because I have been in many situations in the past where more than one or 2 people have told me "you can't drink here", or "you need to cut yourself off", and my reaction would always be "try and stop me!"

Now it's just the opposite, I again get to be the rebel, but now my cause is saving me and making me healthy and happy rather than killing me!

miamifella

Sometimes it is just easier to say that you are an alcoholic or addict in these situations. Most people understand and will not bother you if they know. A lot of my friends stopped drinking in front of me and when we went out I had to tell them that it was okay if they drank.

But they knew I was an addict. So they did not want to hurt my recovery.

Supercrew

I don't consider myself an alcoholic anymore, because I don't drink, nor do I want to.

Edwardm

You did awesome. Way to get through the night and stay strong. It's irritating that people pester you to drink because frankly; it's none of their business. I had a young co-worker who never drinks. I seen the same thing that you experienced, friends always pestered him (me included). He never told anyone why he didn't drink. One day I pushed the subject and asked him why he never drinks. He said, "the doctor told me if I drink, I die". Appearantly during a physical he had some high liver enzymes. This was from genetics, not drinking. Needless to say, I felt like a jerk.

Keep up the good work, way to go.

Reset

Good for you, ER. I'd have just left. Life's too short to put up with a-holes.

wellnowwhat

hi. I'm not an alcoholic, never have been, never even close. I did not like being not in control, even a tiny bit, and 2 drinks would mean hours of nausea. Having said this, I heard these "aw, just have one" type of comments my whole life.

I am only mentioning this in case someone thinks they are directed to you as an alcoholic or former drinker. These people do this to everyone!

I learned in my 20s that the best line of defence was 7up or ginger ale or sprite in a wine glass. I'd carry the same damn glass the whole night. LOL

....just another point of view.

And congratulations on successfully navigating such a test to your resolve!

Boleo

I may be humble but I'm not modest - I do feel superior!

"A man should measure his wealth by that which he does not need"
- Lao Tzu

Terminally Unique

I used to carry a flask with me just in case someone tried to not let me drink (couldn't have that!). So sad.

Like supercrew, though, I redirected that resolve elsewhere.

ceneri

Sometimes you have to wonder about people. I haven't had to deal will with that, thankfully. It's always been a mixed bag a drinkers/non-drinkers/sometime drinkers around me. I think its more awkward when someone you know who shouldn't be drinking wants a drink. What do you do? At times, I'd cringe and point the way but refuse to serve.

Dee74

I told all my drunking buddies when I quit.

Outside of them, I've never had that happen ER.
Then again I avoided the round of social occasions for a few months too.

I'm glad you made it through.

D

JoeCree

I used to get that a lot too, but eventually they just stop. I haven't told anyone (outside my wife) why I decided to stop drinking, so in all fairness they are just doing what every drinker is programmed to do.

I maintain..... The greatest unpaid sales reps for Alcohol companies are the consumer. What a work force - and they don't even pay medical.

vInDaLoO

Weekend wedding I went to sigh... I stayed sober all night and was bored utterly senseless by drunk Guests talking Bs to me and boy you only realise when sober how many people repeat themselves when drunk, and also how funny they think they are and on a more serious note how a drunk person can change in an instant from a happy drunk to an angry drunk, real scary. I see all this over the weekend and was glad to get back to the hotel room Breakfast next morning it was refreshing to see the state people where in with their hangovers, I felt so good it was amazing just having breakfast on a lovely sunny morning knowing that I used to be like them , but not no more.