sobervic

When I drank heavily, I often used to do this to others out of ignorance rather than spite. I felt like I was providing them with the push they needed to let loose and have a good time. I never thought out the consequences of my own drinking, so I definitely never considered why they may not be drinking.

Englishrose70

Thank you so much guys, some really useful and insightful comments, AS EVER!

Just what I have come to expect from SR, I love the honesty here and I love MY honesty here - isnt it refreshing?

I am sure no-one was doing it in spite, they were probably only trying to help me fit in as I didnt know them that well at all as they were all golfing pals of my husband.

The "drink" culture in the UK is MASSIVE. All and every occasion practically, I cant really think of one that doesnt, revolves around the opportunity to crack a bottle and pubs/ ale houses (in the distant past) have been in our heritage for thousands of years.

Even a friend popping round, as long as it it after the "witching hour - midday" is deemed acceptable to pop a bottle of wine.

Booze has become so cheap in our supermarkets and increasingly more expensive to buy in pubs and restaurants, that coupled with the recession that has hit us, more and more people are drinking at home too. (we included!) It is a lot harder to moderate your measures at home, in fact you dont.

Our mail is also bombarded with "wine club offers" to buy it by the case at very cheap opening offers. We fell for that and having cases of wine in the house was just a licence to get through it even quicker, losing count of how many bottles you had opened.

Such clarity in hindsight when you are sober eh?

Vindaloo, I can just totally picture you at that wedding, that nagging feeling, "I am in recovery, get me outta here!" followed by the sublime feeling at breakfast. You must have felt a tiny bit smug, I would have done. Anyway I will let you know, I have a wedding to go to on 28 August down in Sussex, I have chosen to drive back home afterwards, 2.5 hour drive. Previously unheard of, I would have been collapsing in a hotel somewhere I didnt even remember the name of and dragging myself to breakfast with the hangover hoards! Well done Vindaloo, brilliant achievement

roisindubh

I heard about a woman once who didn't drink who had to attend a function in Japan where drinking is part of the corporate culture. At the beginning of the party, she said she'd "have one later" and after a while she said, "I've had enough". One can always drink something clear - it could be gin or vodka. People seem to drink wine mostly these days, so I bring a bottle of apple juice to the party (or order it), and it looks just like wine. No one comments anymore. Personally, I found people really didn't care if I drank or not. After a while, I wanted credit for giving it up and had to point out that I wasn't drinking. The attitude of my friends was...who cares! As someone said once, the people who aren't alcoholics don't care who drinks and the people who are are glad you're not drinking because it leaves more for them. Are you making a big deal of the fact that you don't drink? Also, perhaps you need new friends - hanging around a bunch of heavy drinkers when you're trying to stay sober is not a good idea. Even if you have to attend a function, you don't have to stay long.

Mcribb

I used to get that, but I got out of hand so much that it is great I am just out with people. I was out of society the last year of drinking because I felt I was embarrassing drunk, I couldn't deal with different music than I liked, and I couldn't just leave without calling a cab or driving drunk.

hector

Wonderful thread, lots of great comments. Recommended reading is the AA book "Living Sober".

Always remember, "I don't drink" is a complete sentence.

smacked

So glad I got rid of all the 'drinkers' in my life.

Symmetry

I thought non-drinkers were boring, they must be bored, they must be alcoholics or that they thought I was one. They were kinda like my moral compass too. Their prescence made me conscious of my own drinking and habits. People who don't or aren't drinking were sure noticeable to me, until I was drunk then I didn't give it another thought.

2 days ago, my friend stopped by, opened the fridge and said "Where's the beer!?!". For that I felt sad. It was such a pleasure to have beer on hand to offer. He stopped by the very next day to hang out knowing there wouldn't be any alcohol. That was really awesome!