charles313

So im pretty new to stone cold sobriety... I don't know if I would call myself an alcoholic or just and addict in general... for quite some time I used multiple substances but I have been off aderall/ stacker pills for 3 years now ... I also quit using marijuana at the beginning of this year and I started my sobriety from alcohol and cigarettes 17 days ago... in the other cases quitting was easier for me... but the last 17 days have been a rollercoaster... one minute im proud and happy to be sober and the next im anxiety ridden mess... the weird thing is I don't feel the need to drink... I just feel overwhelming anxiety... which anxiety never really occurred for me prior to drinking or even during... I was wondering does it go away?? And how long does it take?? Also did anyone else experience a loss of friends?? I haven't heard from someone who I considered to be my best friend much since I've decided to live a sober lifestyle... we used to talk everyday and now it seems like im not good enough to be friends with now that I've chosen to be sober... actually she isn't the only friend I feel I've lost... im pretty much feel like im left with one friend(ironically the one who doesn't drink)... I guess this is just turning out to be a lot harder then I had expected it to be... I always thought I can quit and feel normal whenever I want... that's proving to be a battle... I have the hardest times on weekends... what once was going to a club and downing a bottle of liquor is now sitting at home... I don't know what kind of healthy activities I can do to entertain myself...

Innerchild

Congratulations for staying sober and yes its normal to lose friends. Some people you used to party or drink with will stop talking to you bc you are getting your life together and putting yourself on a positive track. Once I started studying and getting my life together last year I lost friends and cut many out. I had a friend who I thought was getting his life together from a heroin addiction spent much time in jail. I binge drink but I dont do drugs and one time last summer he put my life in danger in his car. He shot up in one of the most ghettoist towns in NJ in a DD bathroom and I could tell. Thank God by some miracle right after something in my head told me get out the car he hit an off duty police officer. I was scared out of my mind had to call someone to drive two two hours to pick me up bc I was stranded in the worst drug infest crim ridden towns in NJ. I cant even believe he took me to that town. Our group of friends decided to believe him when he said he didnt take anything over me who they knew for years.Ive known this guy since elementary school. He had a gift of being a charming pathological lying manipulator. Since then I cut him and that group of friends out and my once best friend chose him over me and she went from being a good girl to a heroin user who ended up in jail. I do stupid things when I drink but I will not associate myself with toxic people like that. So if they dont talk to you count it as a blessing bc you still start attracting people in your life who have the same interests as you. It seems when we are on a negative path we attract the same types of people "likes attract likes" I am very much into the Laws of Attraction. Once you get off that path you no longer have the same things in common with them and if they stop being your friend thats their loss.

I am learning for myself cut out the negative people and try surround yourself with positive people. Good luck.

endlesspatience

Charles. Welcome aboard and I am sure many of us can relate to the conflicted feelings you describe in early recovery. In my experience, the physical and mental impact of withdrawal are intense in the first few weeks of recovery but the feelings do tend to change with time. Have you decided what programme you will now follow to remain sober? Do read up on this site - there's lots of wisdom and experience to draw upon here.

charles313

Thanks yeah I think its especially hard for me that I thought I had a lifelong friendship and now that I've finally decided to get my act together that she isn't there supporting me... I am a very loyal person and although people usually screw me over I still expect the same loyalty from the people I actual consider to be close to me which isn't many... I just hate what Ive done to myself drinking and I don't understand how my "friends" don't see that for me to quit was a healthy choice... I've always been my own worst enemy... I have had a body image problem since I started highschool which kick started belumia and drug use for me and when I quit that I slowly started to binge drink in insane amounts... I have shaved off my own eyebrows, disrespected myself, embarrassed myself, and gained 60 pounds since I started the binge drinking... I just want them to be supportive and happy for me... I feel like friends have always been my back bone for dealing with my ****** situation so tackling sobriety without the people I thought care about me is rough.

charles313

@ endless I didn't really have a plan of action...I kinda just decided one day that I had enough of what I was doing to myself... I saw no future in the path I was walking down and I felt like I was quickly becoming my mother(also an alcoholic)... I guess this site was just something I found searching so im trying it out to see if it will help me to deal with my melting pot of emotions about recovery.

Dee74

Hi Charles
Welcome to SR

Anxiety was an issue for me, but I had anxiety before I drank. I did lose friends tho - I think a lot of the friendships I made in the last years of my drinking were pretty much based around alcohol - I guess a lot of folks felt uncomfortable when I quit...like I'd changed the dynamic or something....maybe they felt they they needed to examine their own drinking too, maybe?

I reconnected with a lot of old sober friends tho. Getting sober was one of the best decisions of my life.I'm sure you'll come to think of it in the same way too.

Supports pretty much vital in the process - you'll find a lot of that here - and a few ideas too hopefully

D

micealc

Congratulations for leading a clean life...........Stick with it.
I had loads of what I would call Fair Weather friends.Not real friends,none of them ever came to Re Hab to visit me.
I found the the ACA Program is what suits me with Anxiety from early Childhood.
I attended AA for years to stay Sober.............It works
Im now dealing with my Stuffed Feelings...It takes Time.....And your life will change.................for the Better.
Keep coming back it works.