friends drinking at bday party
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 55
friends drinking at bday party
I feel like i just need to vent.. i had my birthday party yesterday. and it was a big deal for me to not drink at my party. i was very proud of myself. but of course, i would have liked to drink but i didnt. so i didnt want any of my friends drinking either. i think its kinda selfish but it was my bday party. we went to white water which i thougt would be good cause its not centered around drinking at all. but 3 of my friends flasked it and started drinking in the car while i was still in it. they even offered it to me. i would expect it from them i guess.. they arent the best friends. my other friends were there and couldnt believe it either and told me just to forget about them, etc. im just still baffled that they would do that even though they all know i dont drink, and 2 of them know im in aa. i just feel mad at them still. i know it will do no use to talk to them about it... like i said, i think i just needed to vent.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
I think its in the vested interest of some that others share in their drinking, makes it the norm and them normal. The one's I know who made sure they had booze wherever they went and liked to share were the same one's who shouldn't have booze at all. We can choose our friends but we can't choose their behavior so we need to choose wisely. Its my party and I'll stay dry if I want to...
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 79
Your friends may have an alcohol-dependence issue that they will have to deal with in the future. If they're going out of their way to carry alcohol in a portable flask to an event that you requested to be dry, that sounds a bit suspect.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,344
I had friends like that too Gorpus...they couldn't believe I was being that 'selfish' by asking them not to drink in my home.
If they're that hooked they need to drink out of flasks in the car on the way to a funpark, maybe it's worth considering if they're the kind of people you need in your life anymore, Gorpus?
D
If they're that hooked they need to drink out of flasks in the car on the way to a funpark, maybe it's worth considering if they're the kind of people you need in your life anymore, Gorpus?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 55
thanks.. i do think 2 of them are already problem drinkers. i feel like i cannot say that they are alcoholic.. but i dunno. and i didnt directly ask them not to drink, but i just feel like its common sense and just being a good friend not to drink at someones bday party who is newly sober and in aa. but i guess if they have drinking problems themselves, they arent thinking about thinking about anyone else. they are just thinking about how they can get drunk. i just really have a resentment towards them right now. but it is true that i cannot control them. i can only control myself, and thats what i did. and im proud and happy that i did not drink.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Gorpus I can understand how you feel but you out to understand that a lot of grown ups drink at parties and for some this is the only time they can drink because of work or kids and other responsible. So going to a party that there is no booze around would be a let down. I'm not trying to be mean but you got to see it both ways.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 55
i understand what you are saying.. but thats not how these people are. i think they just are more along the lines of a drinking problem themselves. regardless.. i just felt disrespected. it is what it is. im not losing sleep over it. just felt the need to get it out there. thanks everyone for your support.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Would you have not drank at a party before you thought you had a problem even if a friend wasn't drinking? I might not have put it in everyones face, but nobody and no reason could have kept me from drinking if I wanted to drink.
If you told me I couldn't drink I probably wouldn't have attended or I would have got good and toasty before I went.
I think the bigger problem is the fact that you say you wish you could have drank. You need to change your thinking. You will have trouble until you decide you don't want to drink.
If you told me I couldn't drink I probably wouldn't have attended or I would have got good and toasty before I went.
I think the bigger problem is the fact that you say you wish you could have drank. You need to change your thinking. You will have trouble until you decide you don't want to drink.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 24
Supercrew is right. I would have drunk, but I would have done it before getting in the car, pretended like I dropped something on the floor of the car and stooped over it to sneak a swig, walked in the very back of the pack so I could take advantage of strategic moments, "forgotten" something in the car once everyone was walking into the restaurant, gone to the bathroom often, and pretend to take a private call on my cell-phone in order to duck out to someplace quiet.
But no, I would not have done it right in front of you or offered you.
But no, I would not have done it right in front of you or offered you.
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