ThePupsSavedMe

Hi everyone,
I am on 10 days sober from weed. I have been addicted for 10 years, but have used it off/on since a teen. I LOVE it, i love being high and not thinking. Not thinking or worrying or caring about anything. But it took over my life. I am/was officially a 'Pothead'. I have smoked an ounce a week for the better part of 8 years. I have tried quiting in the past, several times. The longest being 2 months. So until i am past 2 months i guess i wont feel like it stuck this time. In the past 10 days i have still been depressed and down but i dont have the strong urges i had in the past trying to quit. I do not know why this time is different but it is. I just decided i was tired of dealing with dealers, and chasing it, spending $100 a week of my families money, staying locked in my room staying high and doing NOTHING. I have dealt with so much shame over this addiction. Its just pot right? Just put it down or only smoke once a day..well i couldnt. If i had it i smoked it till it was gone then the hunt to find more. To be totally honest the day i decided to quit was more to show my current dealer i was pissed off cause he kept putting me off and would call when he got around to it. Sounds stupid doesnt it, lol.. but it was the start. Then i pcked up some momentum after day 3 and i was OK. I mean i was really ok, not freaking out. I was out of bed and doing things! I feel like this could be it, the real deal. My greatest fear is one day (maybe a week/month etc from now) i will crave it so bad i will give in and find some. I do nt hang out with people who smoke so i dont have to deal with the influences. I am a grown married women with children and felt like a teenager hiding out smoking a joint. I called it my antidepressent. I would tell people that i used weed instead of presc meds to mellow me. But the truth is the weed took over. I just wanted to share my back story. I know my addiction is not as bad as alot of the people here, but its ruining my life as much. I have abused other drugs in the past (benzo's, pain meds, alcohol) but nothing that became everyday or that i felt i couldnt live without. If anyone has anyting they would like to share with me about what to expect on this journey i welcome it =)

Dee74

Hi ThePupsSavedMe

Welcome

I was a pothead too - I don't remember any real struggles in giving it up tho - it was much as you've described....it was mostly mental and related to peer pressure - I stopped buying it a long time before I stopped smoking it. I had to change my social circle

I think the right support is important in keeping us on the right path - I'm glad you've joined us.

D

ThePupsSavedMe

Thanks Dee74...everyday seems better. I will rejoice the day i dont think about it once the whole day. I continue to surprise myself with my determination. I think i finally understand what people mean when they say 'you'll know when you've had enouh of it and are ready to be done' =)