RidingSober

Hi all:

Just wanted to say hi and start becoming active in the forums. I've lurked around here a few differrent times and just finally decided that I need to do some talking and have a little more interaction on the topic off alchoholism and drinking.

I've attended AA meetings before and never felt like I fit in. Alchohol doesn't get me arrested, make me miss work, make me fight, or anything that shows others I need help. What it does do is suppress my feelings and take me away from my genetic disposition to anxiety. However, with that suppression, it's also brought me to centering my life around staying home alone and getting drunk by myself. I've secluded myself from taking any risks with trust, love, friendships, sadness, and dealing with depressing days. As much as I love beer, it causes me to miss out on living my life.

As I mentioned before, I have a hard time with AA meetings. It seems dark, depressing, with a very negative tone. I would like to be involved in something that's uplifting and encouraging that flows with positive energy. Is there such a thing? Does anyone else have this this problem with meetings?

Edwardm

Riding Sober, I'm new here on my 6th day of being sober. I know what you mean, alcohol has never caused me major problems but I was drinking everyday and becoming a slave to alcohol. I stayed home all the time because of a fear of getting a DUI and losing my job. I can tell you that it is very liberating and this group has help alot. Last night I needed something at the grocery store late at night and I could actually go out. It felt great. Everyone here has helped me. Stay strong, you are making the right decision.

doggonecarl

You call AA dark and depressing. Your life sounds dark and depressing. I am not pushing AA, but don't dismiss anything that can turn your life around. There are other paths to recovery. Find one. Work it. Turn your life around.

Beer drinking was diminishing my life. Then I quit.

Welcome and good luck.

TenYearsGone

I don't care for AA myself. I am not religious, so that part of it is off-putting. However, you can search for AA meetings in your area. There are codes on them, so some are not as focused on their "Big Book" as others. Some are just discussions for newcomers. When my husband got sober, he attended some of the AA meetings that were less focused on their religious aspect & said those meetings were very helpful. So maybe that is something to think about.
This site is VERY supportive & helpful. Especially if you have made a pattern of isolating yourself, an online forum like this may help give you the confidence you need to get out there & interact with people again. I went through a period of isolation when we moved & an online site helped give me the courage to get back out there.
Best wishes to you! You can turn your life around!

WakeUpSarah

I went to one AA meeting 7 years ago, and it was just like you described. I never went back, then relapsed shortly thereafter. I'm thinking of calling around to see what other AA meetings might be available around here. From what I've been reading, people say there are a lot of different options for different kinds of meetings. I guess we just need to find one that fits us better. I found a list of resources at aa.org, and I'm planning on making some calls tomorrow.
Best of luck to you!

Innerchild

Im not into AA either I went once and like me you seem to drink bc of depression. Have you tried therapy? I just started again. I know from experience we can hold all our feelings inside then self abuse with alcohol or drugs. It may be a good alternative bc I feel you need to deal with the underlying causes and AA just focuses on the alcohol and many of us are dealing with issues that makes us self medicate

MycoolFitz

Hey RidingSober, Lawrence huh? I lived there many years in the 60's and early 70's until I had to get a real job. AA is, of course, one option or component, there are others as well. My program has evolved as my sobriety has evolved and I realize a lot actually revolves around doing things I used to do sober as well as reach out for and give support. I, by nature and inclination, am anxious and introverted, booze really seemed to bring me out until I realized it wasn't really me that was brought out but a figment of my alcoholic imagination. I am sure you will get a lot of ideas and support here. Try some things out and find out which seem true to you. Recovery shouldn't be artificial.

Symmetry

I would need a group that I could relate to. If I can't relate then I would probably just walk out. There are so many on SR that I can relate to that I check in throughout the day and first thing every morning. This has been such a benefit to my sobriety. If I could find an AA group with just women/moms then I'd probably go and stay for a long time.

Innerchild

Symmetry, I went to a womans group they were all really nice but I didnt feel I could relate bc they had all been drinking for years been in jail and rehab. Not to mention drugs too and I never touch even pot. If I could find a group to relate id go too

SomethingBetter

Hey RS, you described myself, i never got arressted or any trouble drinking, no fights etc...

I drank alone mostly but I am married and it really stressed my marrige, my grown children just hated me when drinking.

I love the idea of AA, i read the bigbook, i follow the steps but no mettings, not yet anyway, sometimes you just got to do whats best for you, I dont like being around strangers but i did talk to this lady the other day who was activly drinking, she heard i quit, she had all sorts of questions, it was actualy pretty interesting talking to her.


I use the ideas of AA with this forum, for me it works but not for everyone i suppose...

I know theres different kinds of mettings too, I someday want to try mettings but i realize i may not like the first few...

I know someone who was court appointed to a metting, she met someone there that she left with and got drunk with.
Her family didnt think much of the mettings, you can see why but it was not fair to judge all mettings based on that single event.


What ever you decide i wish you the best!

RidingSober

Wow, I have to admit that I'm surprised by all of the great responses. So many of you described things that I felt I was the only one going through. Thank you all.


Carl, when I read your post I was instantly pissed off and wanted to defend myself by talking trash back. The more I thought about it, you're right. I'm still not sure that AA is the way to go, but maybe I needed to hear someone else say that my life is depressing.

RidingSober

Thanks Fitz. It sounds like we have a lot in common in that sense. When I get off in social settings, I'm just not always comfortable or relaxed. Alchohol helps me with that. But you said it perfectly, it's not really me that I'm sharing with people.

BodhiTree

RidingSober, your story sounds a lot like mine. I've never had any external trouble from my drinking--no job loss, no legal problems, no losses of relationships or friendships. However, I didn't like the person I was becoming or what my life was becoming and I feared what was going to happen down the road if I didn't stop.

I'm really new at this--day 13--so I'm no expert, but this weekend I read a book called Sober For Good by Anne Fletcher that compiles information about ways in which different people deal with sobriety. I found it really helpful in pointing out options for recovery, so you might want to check it out.

Good luck!

RidingSober

thanks Bodhi, I will check that book out.

raindancer11

Hi RidingSober! Glad you posted. I was kind of in the same place as you when I decided to quit. It's interesting (and scary) that alcohol which I thought gave me so much was actually a huge obstacle to happier life.

TenYearsGone

Just read someone else's comment on another thread about a couple secular support groups. One is called SOS & one is called SMARTS. Maybe worth looking into!

Eddiebuckle

Each AA group is different and the tone of the group is a function of the members sobriety and whats going on in their lives. If you don't like the "feel" of a meeting, google AA and find another meeting. Most of all, don't judge all of AA on the basis of one meeting and especially just going once. Just as some coversations with the people closest to you are better than others, some days any given meeting may be low energy or depressing.

Dee74

Hi RidingSober

welcome

I never had a huge list of things that happened to me - mostly injuries, a few broken relationships - but I was definitely killing myself. I needed help and I knew it.

Here's a list of recovery resources for you to check out (including AA)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

if you ultimately decide AA is not for you, that's no reason to stop looking for help

D

least

I drank to 'medicate' depression and anxiety but it only made me more depressed and anxious. I've been sober now for 19 months and have never felt better. I still have the same old problems but now I handle them a lot better instead of hiding in a bottle.

I'm staying happily sober with the help of my wonderful counselor and my friends here. Is counseling an option for you? I've found it very helpful for me.

Welcome to the family. You'll find a lot of support and useful information here - I certainly have.

Threshold

the good news is we dont HAVE to wait until we've been to jail, filed for bankruptcy, killed someone driving drunk, or driven our friends and families away to either realize we are addicts, and are on the road to nowhere, OR to get into recovery and avoid that messy decade and get our lives back.

I read that first my drinking is a problem, but not a terrible problem, bit and then the laundry list of how it's Fing up the posters life, and was scratching my head...um. how bad does it have to get? It's not just a slippery slope, it's a rollin down hill and gaining speed.

I don't bother trying to figure out "degrees" or levels of addiction, addiction is addiction is addiction. I'm an addict, no matter how it plays out or how obvious it may or may not be to others. And my addiction had stolen my life and was fixin to kill me one way or another. THere is no such thing, to me, as a part time addict, just sorta kinda an addict, or a demi addict.