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Symmetry 07-23-2011 07:52 AM

My drinking buddy
 
My drinking buddy is also one of my very best friends. She she called while I was having a hard time. I didn't answer but did answer the second time. We havn't seen eachother in weeks. I've been trying not to drink and according to her she's done with beer but had some yummy vodka so that I could come on over. I was ready to cry and tell her that I'm sober and falling apart to boot.
I told her I'd come over but didn't feel like drinking. I went for a visit and we had a really great time catching up. I love her and was not feeling the urge to drink at all! She offered me a drink several times and kept asking if I was sure:gaah

3 days woke up into 4. I was so proud when I got home and kissed my husband without alcohol breath. That was a milestone for me. Being able to hang out with someone who I usually have drinks with. I'll tell her soon. I'm just not ready because I'm feeling too dramatic.

MycoolFitz 07-23-2011 08:10 AM

Good for you that took courage. I think maybe you should tell your friend the situation. There's nothing to be ashamed off. Her pushing drinks on you out of ignorance of the facts is no ones fault. Hopefully she'll be supportive and not offer you drinks. If not, that's something else to deal with. You done good.

parentrecovers 07-23-2011 08:58 AM

i hope she'll understand when you tell her. if not, then you gotta keep taking care of YOU!

hugs, k

raindancer11 07-23-2011 11:24 AM

That's great that you were able to make it through that tough situation and not drink. I understand about not wanting to be too dramatic. Good for you for deciding to tell your friend. There are other things you could do together. 3 of my friends totally respect that I no longer drink. I've seen them once in the last 30 days and we still had fun. No drinking. There is one friend who is now more of an acquaintance. I talk to her because our paths cross but we don't socialize anymore unless it's in a larger group. If I spend time with her I eventually think "Now, why I did I stop drinking? It seems silly to deprive myself like this". Then I'm right back where I was.

Itchy 07-23-2011 12:07 PM

Congrats on the 4 days! Make it a lifetime of dealing with life on your terms, it is in your hand now not just in reach. All you have to do is keep the gift you have finally given yourself, a complete do-over!
:grouphug:

Dee74 07-23-2011 02:50 PM

I had a drinking buddy like that too Symmetry.

I drank many times when I didn't want to with that guy - be careful.

Unfortunately for me, he never let up on trying to get me to join him in drinking, even after I explained myself, so I had break contact.

I don't want to project my friendship onto yours, tho - if this person means that much to you, I think it's in both your best interests to sit her down, be honest with her, and take it from there.

D

ACT10Npack 07-23-2011 04:26 PM

From your post Symmetry it seem like your drinking buddy is trying to cut back or try to en their drinking. It's a good time now to let her your giving up on alcohol and it may help her to quit too. Just watch out because you may jump back on to getting drunk again and again with your friend.

Anna 07-23-2011 04:31 PM

Hi,

I am glad it went well for you, but I would also urge a lot of caution on your part.

If you met that friend and you were having a 'bad' day, things could have turned out differently.

ajangel 07-23-2011 04:56 PM

I agree with Dee. I would sit your friend down and be honest. That is if you are really serious about quitting. If she is your true friend, she will back off. Who knows, maybe you will be an inspiration to her and she will quit.

sobervic 07-23-2011 05:34 PM

Nice job resisting. This has been difficult for me, as well. I've had to avoid going out with a large group of heavy-drinking friends for this reason. I've tried before and it was horrible: Constantly having drinks forced upon me, taunting when I refuse drinks, attempts to convince me that I have nothing to worry about, telling me how miserable and boring my life will be without alcohol.

From my experience, it may be better to avoid a discussion with her. Most people who drink heavily tend to find excuses and justification for their drinking habits. Some of these are very convincing. When I was concerned about my binge drinking in the past, discussions with my drinking buddies threw me completely off track and simply provided me with new ways and reasons to dismiss any concerns I had about my drinking. Instead of providing support, a drinking buddy will most likely persuade you to continue drinking.


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