Coming back for good!
On my way....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
Coming back for good!
Just wanted to introduce myself, I'm Rachel...on the evening of day 2. I have a tri-addiction: alcohol, cigarettes & weed. It's like glue, I can get rid of one (never weed), maybe even two of the problems for a time...then right back to all three. For now, I am working on giving up the alcohol and weed....I quit cigarettes for two years and (surprise, surprise) I decided whilst I was drinking one night that it would be a good idea to have one....and, well you know where that goes...but at this point, I think I will accept the smoking until I get my feet up under me....then that must go too.
For my plan of recovery I'm using the AVRT technique....it makes SO much sense to me, I'm also going to rely on the support of people here and my real-life support with my husband and my Mom. I plan on also lending a lot of support to newcomers because I find helping them in turn helps me.
It's been a tough day, but I think that's mostly work related. I believe the worst time I had today as far as cravings go is when I pulled into the drive at home and my body instantly prepared for the blunt I'm used to having as soon as I got off. I had to remind myself that it was the AV talking....part of me became really hot and angry inside and I could separate that from my rational self and know it was not what I wanted....within minutes it passed...phew...can it really be that easy? I don't know, but it got me through what normally would have sent me back off into the cycle of quitting/relapsing that I've been going through for months.
Just wanted to introduce myself....a more specific history is here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-can-i-do.html
Looking forward to getting to know everyone.
For my plan of recovery I'm using the AVRT technique....it makes SO much sense to me, I'm also going to rely on the support of people here and my real-life support with my husband and my Mom. I plan on also lending a lot of support to newcomers because I find helping them in turn helps me.
It's been a tough day, but I think that's mostly work related. I believe the worst time I had today as far as cravings go is when I pulled into the drive at home and my body instantly prepared for the blunt I'm used to having as soon as I got off. I had to remind myself that it was the AV talking....part of me became really hot and angry inside and I could separate that from my rational self and know it was not what I wanted....within minutes it passed...phew...can it really be that easy? I don't know, but it got me through what normally would have sent me back off into the cycle of quitting/relapsing that I've been going through for months.
Just wanted to introduce myself....a more specific history is here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-can-i-do.html
Looking forward to getting to know everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Rachel1980 
For my plan of recovery I'm using the AVRT technique....it makes SO much sense to me...
I believe the worst time I had today as far as cravings go is when I pulled into the drive at home and my body instantly prepared for the blunt I'm used to having as soon as I got off. I had to remind myself that it was the AV talking....part of me became really hot and angry inside and I could separate that from my rational self and know it was not what I wanted....within minutes it passed...phew...can it really be that easy? I don't know, but it got me through what normally would have sent me back off into the cycle of quitting/relapsing that I've been going through for months.
I believe the worst time I had today as far as cravings go is when I pulled into the drive at home and my body instantly prepared for the blunt I'm used to having as soon as I got off. I had to remind myself that it was the AV talking....part of me became really hot and angry inside and I could separate that from my rational self and know it was not what I wanted....within minutes it passed...phew...can it really be that easy? I don't know, but it got me through what normally would have sent me back off into the cycle of quitting/relapsing that I've been going through for months.
-New Me-
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 82
welcome back Rachel. i wish you the best of luck. Weed is also my addiction, so if you ever need to chat or just complain to someone my inbox is always there. I have been a smoker for the last 16yrs. tomorrow will be 3 weeks clear headed for me, its tough (as you know) but we are all here for ya. keep your head up and them lips off that blunt!!!! good luck in your ventures and im glad you have such a good support team on board.
On my way....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
Thank you everyone for the warm welcome!
Newlife, yes, the worst part of this struggle is the weed addiction, I can easily say it was my DOC....so, please, let's keep in touch. A lot of people (real-life) don't think it's even possible to be addicted to marijuana, and even if you are...."what's so bad about it?", they say. It would mean a lot to have someone who can identify with me, the offer also stands for you....if you need to vent or have someone cheer you on, I'm here off and on throughout the day, either at home or on my phone, so please don't hesitate. Keep on keeping on!
Newlife, yes, the worst part of this struggle is the weed addiction, I can easily say it was my DOC....so, please, let's keep in touch. A lot of people (real-life) don't think it's even possible to be addicted to marijuana, and even if you are...."what's so bad about it?", they say. It would mean a lot to have someone who can identify with me, the offer also stands for you....if you need to vent or have someone cheer you on, I'm here off and on throughout the day, either at home or on my phone, so please don't hesitate.
Keep on keeping on!
-New Me-
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by Rachel1980
Thank you everyone for the warm welcome!
Newlife, yes, the worst part of this struggle is the weed addiction, I can easily say it was my DOC....so, please, let's keep in touch. A lot of people (real-life) don't think it's even possible to be addicted to marijuana, and even if you are...."what's so bad about it?", they say. It would mean a lot to have someone who can identify with me, the offer also stands for you....if you need to vent or have someone cheer you on, I'm here off and on throughout the day, either at home or on my phone, so please don't hesitate. Keep on keeping on!
Newlife, yes, the worst part of this struggle is the weed addiction, I can easily say it was my DOC....so, please, let's keep in touch. A lot of people (real-life) don't think it's even possible to be addicted to marijuana, and even if you are...."what's so bad about it?", they say. It would mean a lot to have someone who can identify with me, the offer also stands for you....if you need to vent or have someone cheer you on, I'm here off and on throughout the day, either at home or on my phone, so please don't hesitate.
Keep on keeping on!-eddie-
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
For quitting smoking, one of the best free resources is Joel Spitzer's library, particularly his "Never Take Another Puff" eBook.
Joel's Quit Smoking Library
WhyQuit - the Internet's leading cold turkey quit smoking resource
Joel's Quit Smoking Library
WhyQuit - the Internet's leading cold turkey quit smoking resource
On my way....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
Thanks AVRT, I will check that out. I also used Allen Carr's, "Easy Way to Quit Smoking" last time I quit and it helped immensely. I plan on quitting smoking when I achieve 30 days of sobriety.
Well, it's the end of day 3....I woke up in an awesome mood, had a great day at work...and then I was rear-ended on the way home. Everyone involved are okay, I went to the hospital to get checked out, my lower back was really sore. They prescribed pain medicine, which, although I've only ever taken Loritabs once for wisdom teeth removal and it is definitely not one of my addictions, I am not planning on filling the prescription given my circumstances. I believe that Ibuprofen will do the trick, I don't want to be out of my head even for a little while.
Still feel very strong this time, my DH notices the differences with this quit. For example, I'm not acting antsy when he has his nightly glass (yes, I meant the singular form, imagine that!) of wine. I'm not pouting, and yes, I pouted last time when he'd drink, very mature, I know....feeling very deprived and that life was unfair for letting him be normal and me not. This time, when he's having his one beer, or one glass of wine I sit out on the porch and talk to him - even getting a little grossed out by the smell of the beer. I took Lafemme's suggestion on associating the beer with warm vomit....the thought of that makes my stomach lurch just thinking about it.
I've had a few times today when I heard the AV whispering to me, especially when I came home after the accident, being my first accident ever.......I was very shook up. I started thinking about how a blunt would calm me down, it was not hard at all to turn it off. I also felt very grateful that I had been sober for three days before this happened, even though it was clearly the other driver's fault, part of me would have felt really guilty if I had been smoking weed earlier in the day.
Well, onwards and upwards! I hope everyone is doing well tonight. God bless.
Well, it's the end of day 3....I woke up in an awesome mood, had a great day at work...and then I was rear-ended on the way home. Everyone involved are okay, I went to the hospital to get checked out, my lower back was really sore. They prescribed pain medicine, which, although I've only ever taken Loritabs once for wisdom teeth removal and it is definitely not one of my addictions, I am not planning on filling the prescription given my circumstances. I believe that Ibuprofen will do the trick, I don't want to be out of my head even for a little while.
Still feel very strong this time, my DH notices the differences with this quit. For example, I'm not acting antsy when he has his nightly glass (yes, I meant the singular form, imagine that!) of wine. I'm not pouting, and yes, I pouted last time when he'd drink, very mature, I know....feeling very deprived and that life was unfair for letting him be normal and me not. This time, when he's having his one beer, or one glass of wine I sit out on the porch and talk to him - even getting a little grossed out by the smell of the beer. I took Lafemme's suggestion on associating the beer with warm vomit....the thought of that makes my stomach lurch just thinking about it.
I've had a few times today when I heard the AV whispering to me, especially when I came home after the accident, being my first accident ever.......I was very shook up. I started thinking about how a blunt would calm me down, it was not hard at all to turn it off. I also felt very grateful that I had been sober for three days before this happened, even though it was clearly the other driver's fault, part of me would have felt really guilty if I had been smoking weed earlier in the day.
Well, onwards and upwards! I hope everyone is doing well tonight. God bless.
-New Me-
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 82
thank God you are all okay. and good job resisting the alcohol and weed today. you can do it Rachel, just have faith. your a very strong woman!!!
good luck on quitting the smokes too after you have some sobriety under your belt. i to am trying to quit smoking cigarettes, that is going to be a tough one for me. but they just have to go as well. its been overdue!
well g'night Rachel. tty-2morrow.
good luck on quitting the smokes too after you have some sobriety under your belt. i to am trying to quit smoking cigarettes, that is going to be a tough one for me. but they just have to go as well. its been overdue!
well g'night Rachel. tty-2morrow.
On my way....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
Thank you for checking on me, physically I'm a little sore. Emotionally, ehh, a little all over the place.
I'm at the close of day four, started out in a great mood and it went downhill from there, nothing happened to cause it, just the way my mind was working today. I refuse to give into the AV chatter, I'm definitely not wanting any alcohol....weed is a different story. I've felt on edge most of the evening...I took a walk and that helped a bit. I'm just hoping these emotions will settle down sooner than later. But, I refuse to go back, I believe the only way through this is to keep moving forward, come what may. No matter how angry I feel inside. I can't say it doesn't suck though. If I go back, I will have to start over again....because I would, as I know I'm sick of this....so why turn back now.
Someone please tell me these crazy feelings will settle down!
I'm at the close of day four, started out in a great mood and it went downhill from there, nothing happened to cause it, just the way my mind was working today. I refuse to give into the AV chatter, I'm definitely not wanting any alcohol....weed is a different story. I've felt on edge most of the evening...I took a walk and that helped a bit. I'm just hoping these emotions will settle down sooner than later. But, I refuse to go back, I believe the only way through this is to keep moving forward, come what may. No matter how angry I feel inside. I can't say it doesn't suck though. If I go back, I will have to start over again....because I would, as I know I'm sick of this....so why turn back now.
Someone please tell me these crazy feelings will settle down!
-New Me-
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by Rachel1980
Thank you for checking on me, physically I'm a little sore. Emotionally, ehh, a little all over the place.
I'm at the close of day four, started out in a great mood and it went downhill from there, nothing happened to cause it, just the way my mind was working today. I refuse to give into the AV chatter, I'm definitely not wanting any alcohol....weed is a different story. I've felt on edge most of the evening...I took a walk and that helped a bit. I'm just hoping these emotions will settle down sooner than later. But, I refuse to go back, I believe the only way through this is to keep moving forward, come what may. No matter how angry I feel inside. I can't say it doesn't suck though. If I go back, I will have to start over again....because I would, as I know I'm sick of this....so why turn back now.
Someone please tell me these crazy feelings will settle down!
I'm at the close of day four, started out in a great mood and it went downhill from there, nothing happened to cause it, just the way my mind was working today. I refuse to give into the AV chatter, I'm definitely not wanting any alcohol....weed is a different story. I've felt on edge most of the evening...I took a walk and that helped a bit. I'm just hoping these emotions will settle down sooner than later. But, I refuse to go back, I believe the only way through this is to keep moving forward, come what may. No matter how angry I feel inside. I can't say it doesn't suck though. If I go back, I will have to start over again....because I would, as I know I'm sick of this....so why turn back now.
Someone please tell me these crazy feelings will settle down!
oh i so know what you are talking about. they will settle down Rachel. i was on edge really bad for the first week and a half. slowly but surly it did settle.. did it go away? Nope. still feeling it here and there as its normal in these times. some days are worse than others of course. but it will get better just have to stay strong and find something that will help subside the feelings and edginess. for me it was/is spending time w/my daughter, working out (any type of exercise really), music has helped out as well. even taking a long drive once you get those feelings. just have to find what works for you.
it will get better though Rachel, just have faith. im glad you refuse to go back.. just keep remembering that..... You Refuse To Go Back..... you know how bad it hurts when you relapse.
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