Healthyfood

I broker up with my ex last December. Since then I just can not stop binge drinking. I drink only wine and nothing else.
I drink 4 glasses a day. Feeling tired and sleepy.
My ideal version would be I enjoy this drink on weekends only.

I feel like I need help.

Dee74

Hi healthyfood

Welcome

I guess you've tried just sticking to moderate non binging drinking on the weekends already?

I know I did - it wasn't something I was able to do....once I got accustomed to drinking a certain way, I could never go back.

I started drinking in earnest over a failed relationship too - I didn't get the girl back, I didn;t feel any happier, and I gained a really big problem.

It's not the way to deal with stuff, IMO.

You'll find a lot of support to stop here

D

Healthyfood

Dee 74

I really hope for big help as I desperately need it. Tonight Im surprised after reading some of the posts, that Im ready to go to bed early.

MycoolFitz

Yea after a marraige break up, I drank only 3-4 glasses of wine a night, then a couple of bottles and the a quart or so of vodka. Funny how it all creeps up on one when reality is blurred. Funny thing, I didn't get my ex back but I did quit caring--about anything. By the time I finally put the bottles down I there wasn't much left of who I thought was me. I know when you know you need help and seek it out it is everywhere to be found.

Mcribb

I always sucked with breaking up. Drinking days on end making my sick mentally and phyisically ugh. Pure hell. Glad I can take my problems other places

PaleMale

"Drinking AT someone" only hurts ourselves.

bayliss

This is what I am afraid of to be honest...if I ever have to go through something like this or even a really really big fight I feel like I am going to crack and drink. I really don't want that to happen and end up at square one.
I used to do that a lot though too. If I ever got into an argument with my boyfriend I would either chug a couple glasses of wine while he was out for a smoke or I would go to a girlfriends and drink straight whiskey until I passed out with a terrible headache from drinking and crying all night.
Definitely isn't a step forward, but thirty steps back.

cairns87

Hi I also dreamed of being able to drink every now and then in the weekends. Im not sure if you have already tried this but I know that I have tried this numerous times and it does not work for me!

Try not too think of the bigger picture of giving up alcahol! See if you can give up for one day and the go from there!

Take care!

billsaintjames

Congrats on deciding to reach out. For me, drinking to get over a relationship made my life much, much worse. It lead to many unfulfilling one night stands, I hurt many people emotionally, and I became a very lonely, sad person.

It wasn't until I got sober that I was able to put my life back together. Only then was I able to see not only how unhealthy I was, but how unhealthy the people I was attracted to were.

You can get better. In my experiences, getting sober was the first step in forming healthy relationships, and avoiding the bad ones.

Healthyfood

To all

Thanks guys for your posts. Very nice. Not sure how to stop it. Shall I choose the date, the one I will stop drinking M-F?
Not sure what is the first step. Also, what shall I do with those 3-4 hours available for me every evening? Very hard to break the habit.

SDSurfn

Classical, you just described the last 20 years of my life. I'd be laughing if it weren't so pathetic.

-SD

Healthyfood

Classical..

Im not sure how to start and where to go and what to expect. I appreciate what you are saying. Waiting for weekends to get drunk is stupid and devastating.
If someone can tell me what to do. My situation at this stage is I drink every day 4 glasses of wine.
What is the best start to big and happy change?

Dee74

Seeing our Dr is often a good start for many of us, healthyfood.

If you're open to face to face support, groups like AA or SMART, or counselling can help too.

and...daily visits to SR, reading and posting, sure helped me

D

Healthyfood

DEE 74

There is no way I will attend AA meetings as the reason that some of my friends work similar to that. I do not want to expose myself. The thing is that I prefer to drink just 1 drink on the night out with friends. BUT I enjoy drinking on my own at home.

As more I read other people posts, I realize its doable, just need a plan. Not sure what is it.

Adisa1101

bill,
i totally feel the same way here. i cant believe looking back the people that i started relationships with. it was such an unhealthy, toxic; mess. and at the time i never thought twice about it. looking forward to a healthy relationship again; in due time. i cant even imagine what that would be like.

Healthyfood

Classical

Enjoy your vacation!!! Have you managed to stay sober yourself?

I can not decide to quit forever, limit myself just on weekends or just on special occasions?

Healthyfood

Just wanted to ask you guys who managed to overcome this addiction. Whats the best thing to do if I all of a sudden want to get that bottle into my shopping basket (with intention I will start new healthy lifestyle tomorrow)?
Also when Im at home and little bored, obviously first thing is a drink.

Is there anything I could do to forget that drink exists?

And one more question. How long on average would it take me to actually say Im sober and strong? Also how long does it take to start realising that without drink actually I can reach even higher feelings!!! How long does it take to feel the sober and happy?

Dee74

I found this technique useful
Overcoming Life's Obstacles: Urge Surfing to beat addictions and cravings

I hope you will too

As for the second question...I think everyones mileage is different, healthyfood.

I drank for 20 years - for me it was around 90 days before I dared to believe this might actually 'stick' this time

D

Healthyfood

I just purchased book and hope I will find something that will help me to actually stop this addiction.
I recently went on holiday, my parents were very worried as they saw me drinking 2 bottles of wine every day. I said there was no need to worry.
I was ashamed.

So I have decided to stop this, Im scared to go through the depression. I will use technique 1 day at the time. The biggest struggle is going to be weekend. Not sure how to go through Friday and Saturday evenings without wine.

I think a list of possible activities might be useful.

DisplacedGRITS

Do you belong to a gym? I'm not a gym rat, but I find after even just 30 minutes on the exercise bike, i'm so high on endorphins that I couldn't imagine dulling that feeling with drink. Even a couple of laps around the block is enough to distract me from drinking for a long while.