Lionne

So true for me. And while it felt real, I'm not sure if it was real. My perception of life and my relationship to the world in general was so messed up by alcohol in the end. Everytime I see people drinking and feel a little pang of regret for not being able to have the initial relaxing rush of the first drink I remember that part of it. This happens not very often, and I have more satisfying feelings and connections now to replace them anyways.
On the the subject of "altered state of mind", the closest to that I experienced in sobriety was while listenig to music, being in a crowd at a concert.

GracieJane

Jil:

For me it's yoga and cardio exercise like biking or walking/jogging. Someone asked me what I feel like at the end of a 90-minute yoga session and the first words out of my mouth were "I feel high." And also intensely relaxed but sharply focused. Try a Bikram or Ashtanga class. They're demanding, but so worth it!

xXBacktoBlackXx

I understand this feeling. I miss it, too. I am not even sure why. I guess because I don't have to be as much in my own head space and I always felt like I could forget about my problems...

Edwardm

Jill,

Thank you for being so honest. Right now I also feel jealous (I've only been sober for a week). The funny thing is; I'm jealous and thinking about future events that haven't occurred; upcoming weddings, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. My mind pictures friends and family drinking and having a good time. Of course, in reality, it's not that good but the mind does a great job of playing tricks. In my short week, I've had a couple of "aha" moments where I truly feel wonderful, almost high. One was walking the dog at 5:00 in the morning, no hangover, beautiful stars and a cresent moon. The other was Saturday night, driving by myself at 9:30, getting out of the car and walking around in the warm summer air (I could never do this since alcohol made me a slave to the house, couldn't risk a DUI). These are little moments that I believe will continue to grow, mainly because there new experiences to me. I'm starting to see how much I couldn't do and how bad I always felt. I do miss the mind altering feeling but the truth is, after 20 years, I would have to down a lot of whiskey to get that feeling. I wanted that drink after work, but one drink wouldn't do it, and by the time I felt relaxed and drunk, I was nearly passed out.

Agian, thanks for the honesty.