jmcfee

Im 27 years old and this is my second attempt at sobriety. First time quitting i made it 25 months before falling off, and that was a little over 1 year ago. When my marriage fell apart i turned to alcohol again. This is hard for me, and im not sure what to write. I recognize i have a problem and i want to get better. I come from a family tree full of addictive behaviors. My father is recovering also, 23 years sober for him... I've had issues with other drugs in the past, but alcohol has always been my real problem, and what i always turn to...

This is only day one for me. Im pretty scared and not sure what else to write.

MycoolFitz

Well welcome. It took me a number of rounds to get it right but that is what new days and new starts are for. Any day sober is a good day.

sobermax

Hello and welcome jmcfee.

I did exactly this - couple of years sober under my own steam and (in my case) felt invulnerable . . . . four years later, here I am.

SR is a great place to start.

Day 1 is scary, no doubt. Keep posting - everyone will understand and you WILL feel better.

jmcfee

im afraid to go home tonight because there is alcohol in my house. i live alone.

jmcfee

my first time getting sober i did it with the help of a counselor. I had better insurance at the time and could afford it. this time i can not afford it. the divorce as left me penny-less and my health insurance is horrible.

sobermax

Hi mate,

anxiousness is to be expected, I should think for a little while. It will pass.

Posting here is a brilliant way to start things off.

I'm having to change a lot about myself to keep sober, and have had many false starts. It is hard at times. The reward though, is a life without fear or shame. No contest.

Pour it away mate, or you'll probably drink it.

silly

Do you have any friends from your sober days or other understanding people in your life that can meet you at home today and help you dump out what's left? I know I could never have done that alone. Many times I tossed a half empty bottle in the dumpster... knowing perfectly well I could always dig it out later if needed. I needed to flush it (twice!) before it was ever truly gone.
Good luck!

jmcfee

i do have a few friends that will support my decision to get sober, unfortunately i have more that would let me turn back to drinking no family in the area either.

SDSurfn

welcome jmcfee. pour it out when you get home.

I did the same thing on my Day 1 last week. Got home, had a full bottle and poured it right down the drain.

i didn't regret it one bit. Now it's already Day 8 and I'm feeling great.

-SD

Dee74

Welcome jmcfee

I agree with the others. Pour it out. Don't engage in a dialogue. Just get rid of it.

Have you considered face to face support as well - something like AA or SMART etc.?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I think supports very important - especially when we're feeling vulnerable.

D

kcbf

Welcome JMCFEE. I am new here too, today will be my first. I am anixous, shakey, irritable but I am committed and have to get it right this time for my children, for my husband, for myself. I am supporting my family right now and too many days lately I have called into work sick becuase I was to hung over to go in. Not good when husband is unemployed. Turning to drinking is ruining my life. I wish you all the best. I agree with everyone here, go home pour it out first thing and don't look back. If you have to get out of the house and go for a walk or hang with a friend so you won't be tempted to buy more. Stay strong! Bless you and good luck!

jmcfee

Thanks for all the kind words everyone, I dumped it all. Even took a picture of the empties on the countertop.

sobermax

Ha! Good for you jmcfee! Delighted to hear this - that can't have been easy.

Keep posting!

artsoul

Really good job on pouring it out! Take things one day at a time. I remember how scared I was to stop drinking (and equally scared to continue). I couldn't handle thinking about the future, but I knew I could get through the next minute or hour or several hours.

You have lots of new friends here who are doing the same thing you are: trying to stay sober each day. I spent a lot of time here at first - it gave me the strength I didn't have on my own. Once you start feeling good again, you'll see that life can really be better....

raindancer11

Welcome! Yes, please read and post. It makes a huge difference.

jmcfee

feeling shaky and uneasy

silly

If you think you may be going through withdrawal, I'd suggest seeing your doctor. She/He can help you get through the process safely. Keep in mind, alcohol withdrawal can kill you

DayTrader

The physical stuff passes.....sometimes in a matter of days........sometimes it's weeks......but it absolutely will pass.

The mental/emotional/spiritual side is more complex though. Alcoholism doesn't need you to be drinking to kick your butt. Really, it hits harder when you're NOT drinking.

There are solutions for that stuff too though. I was pretty much forced into AA (courts) and couldn't be happier about it. I shudder to think about how bad things would have had to be for me to consciously decide to call AA and/or go to a meeting without being forced to.

One of my sponsees is your age (well, he turned 28 today....so a touch older) and his comments would mirror mine: watch your steps carefully, try to be as honest with yourself about what's happening as you can muster, and do some serious looking into what your options are. At the very least, you might waste a little time in some searching for information.......which is highly preferable to taking what might be a very serious situation too lightly.

jmcfee

i looked at the schedule for all the AA meetings in the area. There was one last night. I didnt go.

PaperDolls

It's scary the first time jmcfee but it gets better. Just jump in there and do it.

Congrats on your new journey!