My first post..hi all
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 62
Hi and welcome Anna! Glad you have found this site, it really is an amazing place full of amazing people and stories. Welcome to the class of July 2011!!!
Help and support is always at hand here, take advantage of it, it helps no end
Help and support is always at hand here, take advantage of it, it helps no end
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: London
Posts: 105
Originally Posted by Englishrose70 
Hi Anna
I am just about 70 miles north of you straight up the A1. I am on Day 7 of sobriety, I cant believe it after 10 years on the pop and progressively worse the last 4. I am 41 and I would say I am a higly functioning alcoholic which has been a really hard facade to maintain, harder and harder as time as gone on.
I praise God, heaven and earth they day I found this site. The guys on here are amazing and so supportive because they are or have been right where we are. Everyone is along different bits of the route, but we are all on the same route. It's a marathon not a sprint, take your time, pace yourself, be kind to you and your body. It has been under siege, like mine for such a long time.
It helps me to think of my body now as an abused and wounded animal. I adore animals and having rescued many dogs, I wouldnt hurt a hair on their bodies, so why have I done this to myself? So now I think of me like one of my dogs, needed love, tlc and respect and care. I know I am capable of it and so are you. This may seem like a crazy analogy but it works for me.
Congratulations, you are in the right place and if you feel yourself heading for the fridge, head for the keyboard instead, there is always a friend who TOTALLY understands here.
It sounds like there are some lovely things happening in your life too right now, time to make them priority and kick the demon to the curb. Even after 7 days, my husband has noticed I have the brightness back in my eyes, my energy is up and life really is more real sober.
You can do it, we believe in you! Happy Sunday
I am just about 70 miles north of you straight up the A1. I am on Day 7 of sobriety, I cant believe it after 10 years on the pop and progressively worse the last 4. I am 41 and I would say I am a higly functioning alcoholic which has been a really hard facade to maintain, harder and harder as time as gone on.
I praise God, heaven and earth they day I found this site. The guys on here are amazing and so supportive because they are or have been right where we are. Everyone is along different bits of the route, but we are all on the same route. It's a marathon not a sprint, take your time, pace yourself, be kind to you and your body. It has been under siege, like mine for such a long time.
It helps me to think of my body now as an abused and wounded animal. I adore animals and having rescued many dogs, I wouldnt hurt a hair on their bodies, so why have I done this to myself? So now I think of me like one of my dogs, needed love, tlc and respect and care. I know I am capable of it and so are you. This may seem like a crazy analogy but it works for me.
Congratulations, you are in the right place and if you feel yourself heading for the fridge, head for the keyboard instead, there is always a friend who TOTALLY understands here.
It sounds like there are some lovely things happening in your life too right now, time to make them priority and kick the demon to the curb. Even after 7 days, my husband has noticed I have the brightness back in my eyes, my energy is up and life really is more real sober.
You can do it, we believe in you! Happy Sunday
I am so happy for you!! Keep on exactly the way you're doing it.
I am a bit anxious right now, at home alone, sitting reading old posts on the forum. My mind racing as i browse. Its so amazingly inspiring to read some of the posts, how changed they seem and so much happier! I know somewhere deep down that this could also be true to me someday if i just stop...although my addiction keeps telling me stupid things like "why don't you start tomorrow instead" "one beer won't hurt, why don't you go out" its so infuriating! This shift from hopefulness to wanting to give up so easily?
I often think that my future self will thank me for the actions and decisions i am taking today. I guess the hard part here is to actually start BELIEVING i have a future that's bright, to start being grateful and hopeful and to let go...to let life take its turns but to stop systematicallly making it harder by drinking!
I do also realíze as you say that its not a sprint, I have to learn to nurture myself, to be kind and heal myself as i would too do for a wounded animal.
Thanks again all of you, made me share a tear this morning seeing so much beautiful people wanting to show support, a truly heartwarming site for sure.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: London
Posts: 105
I'm here now, evening and am feeling a bit anxious and scared...
I thought i'd post the reasons why I shouldn't drink again and try to print these reasons in my mind as i can't really feel the positive and hopeful feelings too much..in the back of my mind I can see myself relapse once again....
I shouldn't drink because....
I don't enjoy it anymore
I become a worse version of myself, I don't like her at all
I make my family worried
I neglect everyone around me being caught in my own problems
I stand still, I don't move forward in my life
I hurt my body and my mind, I cause serious damage to my spirit
I feel ashamed
I loose so much money
I smoke when I drink, these are very much related
I get overemotional and sad and depressed
I can't trust myself, I embarass myself
I cant feel true emotions, happiness or sadness, its all a blur
I am not FREE
I avoid people as it's becoming too hard to deal with all my emotions
I miss me......
I want to be the person others see in me
I want to find my love for me again
I want to be fit, healthy and happy
I want my face and body back
I want to LAUGH from my heart
I want to be a better human, I want to help others
I want to be present, here and now
I want to raise my spirituality, study the buddhism I love
I want to respect myself
the list can go on forever. I know for a fact I can't achieve any of these goals If I allow alcohol to rule my life.....I know life throws its problems at you but nothing ever will be better because I have a clouded and stressed mind filled with alcohol....
Day 2 tomorrow!!!
Hope you all are having a good day and night and keep strong!!!
Anna
I thought i'd post the reasons why I shouldn't drink again and try to print these reasons in my mind as i can't really feel the positive and hopeful feelings too much..in the back of my mind I can see myself relapse once again....
I shouldn't drink because....
I don't enjoy it anymore
I become a worse version of myself, I don't like her at all
I make my family worried
I neglect everyone around me being caught in my own problems
I stand still, I don't move forward in my life
I hurt my body and my mind, I cause serious damage to my spirit
I feel ashamed
I loose so much money
I smoke when I drink, these are very much related
I get overemotional and sad and depressed
I can't trust myself, I embarass myself
I cant feel true emotions, happiness or sadness, its all a blur
I am not FREE
I avoid people as it's becoming too hard to deal with all my emotions
I miss me......
I want to be the person others see in me
I want to find my love for me again
I want to be fit, healthy and happy
I want my face and body back
I want to LAUGH from my heart
I want to be a better human, I want to help others
I want to be present, here and now
I want to raise my spirituality, study the buddhism I love
I want to respect myself
the list can go on forever. I know for a fact I can't achieve any of these goals If I allow alcohol to rule my life.....I know life throws its problems at you but nothing ever will be better because I have a clouded and stressed mind filled with alcohol....
Day 2 tomorrow!!!
Hope you all are having a good day and night and keep strong!!!
Anna
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Welcome
Dear Anna
Hello and welcome. I too am based in London and have found a wonderful support network for recovery here in this city. If you would like to private message me to find out a little more, please feel free to do so. I'd be very happy to put you in touch with another woman of about your age if you would like to meet and talk with her.
Best wishes,
Hello and welcome. I too am based in London and have found a wonderful support network for recovery here in this city. If you would like to private message me to find out a little more, please feel free to do so. I'd be very happy to put you in touch with another woman of about your age if you would like to meet and talk with her.
Best wishes,
Contented
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 124
'Ello laanisa, 
Welcome to the forum. Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step to recovery, kudos to you. I chose the AA program for my recovery and it's suggested program has worked wonders for me. But whether you go the AA way or not, endlesspatience, I believe, has the right idea; build a support network. Most people cannot do this alone, it can be very trying.
I hope you take endlesspatience up on her offer, you'd be surprised how many people out there will want to help. A support network is crucial in recovery and it would be fun and healthy... (it'd be good to keep the list handy also...)
Best 'o luck T
Welcome to the forum. Acknowledging you have a problem is the first step to recovery, kudos to you. I chose the AA program for my recovery and it's suggested program has worked wonders for me. But whether you go the AA way or not, endlesspatience, I believe, has the right idea; build a support network. Most people cannot do this alone, it can be very trying.
I hope you take endlesspatience up on her offer, you'd be surprised how many people out there will want to help. A support network is crucial in recovery and it would be fun and healthy... (it'd be good to keep the list handy also...)
Best 'o luck T
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