Day 1 and in class of July... Hello again!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany, Berlin
Posts: 54
Day 1 and in class of July... Hello again!
Hello everyone,
although I've been lurking the last days, I did not really post. Have been without a drink for 7 days (again, sigh) til yesterday. Been really depressed yesterday and eventually gave in. I honestly have to say that this last attempt was rather half-assed, so that was bound to happen. I've been feeling terrible earlier today waking up and even had a small hangover... Haven't had that in a while.
I made some notes during the hours I was drinking how the only thing I was thinking about was that it really did not feel good at all, and all I felt was guilt for giving in again. I hope I can fully realize that eventually.
Anyway, I have an appointment regarding out-patient therapy on Tuesday next week and I'll be heading to a NA meeting this weekend, and then on regular basis. I so hope I can keep that commitment. I'll make use of the forum again as well. It definitely helped me when I signed up here.
Talk to you guys soon.
Off to work now!
although I've been lurking the last days, I did not really post. Have been without a drink for 7 days (again, sigh) til yesterday. Been really depressed yesterday and eventually gave in. I honestly have to say that this last attempt was rather half-assed, so that was bound to happen. I've been feeling terrible earlier today waking up and even had a small hangover... Haven't had that in a while.
I made some notes during the hours I was drinking how the only thing I was thinking about was that it really did not feel good at all, and all I felt was guilt for giving in again. I hope I can fully realize that eventually.
Anyway, I have an appointment regarding out-patient therapy on Tuesday next week and I'll be heading to a NA meeting this weekend, and then on regular basis. I so hope I can keep that commitment. I'll make use of the forum again as well. It definitely helped me when I signed up here.
Talk to you guys soon.
Off to work now!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Germany, Berlin
Posts: 54
From July to September... Damn. Not making a new thread for this... So here we go:
Well... I've been on and off drinking again the last couple of weeks and I really did not want to come back here these days. I know I am only letting myself down, but parts of myself felt like I'd ridicule myself doing so. I kinda know it's not the case, that relapse is part of the disease, but I don't know... Well, whatever.
It's been "only this day, I'll stop tomorrow" again and again, lasted for a couple of days and repeat. I remembered how good I felt last year when I was sober for 8 months or something and I really want to get back there. So, I decided to make this deal with myself: Starting today, I'll quit. I am going to prepare myself as good as I can. Healthy food, tons of beverages, series and movies to watch and a list of meetings for the weekend. I need to keep myself entertained as boredom is one of the key points for me to drink. It's so hard to get that out of my system, I know it's possible though. I'll also use the forums again as it really seems to help me!
This is sorta like the last "try on my own". If I can't make it AGAIN, I decided to head to the doctor and get myself into the clinics for two weeks to detox again. I've done this in the past and that was when I was sober for months. Thing is that it comes with loads of issues, like I'd like need to find a new job (complicated story...) aftwards and so on. I'd rather not do it, but if it's my only option to a sober future... I guess it's the route I need to go.
Reading what I've written above: The outpatient thing is still in the works, but it comes with a lot of paperwork. That's something that should be get going sometime in October. I don't want and can't wait 'til then.
Well... I've been on and off drinking again the last couple of weeks and I really did not want to come back here these days. I know I am only letting myself down, but parts of myself felt like I'd ridicule myself doing so. I kinda know it's not the case, that relapse is part of the disease, but I don't know... Well, whatever.
It's been "only this day, I'll stop tomorrow" again and again, lasted for a couple of days and repeat. I remembered how good I felt last year when I was sober for 8 months or something and I really want to get back there. So, I decided to make this deal with myself: Starting today, I'll quit. I am going to prepare myself as good as I can. Healthy food, tons of beverages, series and movies to watch and a list of meetings for the weekend. I need to keep myself entertained as boredom is one of the key points for me to drink. It's so hard to get that out of my system, I know it's possible though. I'll also use the forums again as it really seems to help me!
This is sorta like the last "try on my own". If I can't make it AGAIN, I decided to head to the doctor and get myself into the clinics for two weeks to detox again. I've done this in the past and that was when I was sober for months. Thing is that it comes with loads of issues, like I'd like need to find a new job (complicated story...) aftwards and so on. I'd rather not do it, but if it's my only option to a sober future... I guess it's the route I need to go.
Reading what I've written above: The outpatient thing is still in the works, but it comes with a lot of paperwork. That's something that should be get going sometime in October. I don't want and can't wait 'til then.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Trying on your own is fine - worked for me - but do think about what you can add to what you've been doing.
I had 20 years of trying again - never actually adding much to what I was doing - with inevitable results.
Keep trying...but do think about doing things different aNew
D
I had 20 years of trying again - never actually adding much to what I was doing - with inevitable results.
Keep trying...but do think about doing things different aNew
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Glad you're here, aNewDawn..... I can relate.... I used to drink and read the posts here, and think about how it would be when I got sober. Sounds pretty crazy as I sit here writing that.
I like your plans.
Just get through the next 24 hours sober and remind yourself that things will get better. You can do it.......
I made some notes during the hours I was drinking how the only thing I was thinking about was that it really did not feel good at all, and all I felt was guilt for giving in again. I hope I can fully realize that eventually.
I like your plans.
Just get through the next 24 hours sober and remind yourself that things will get better. You can do it.......
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