And I Begin Again (ie. A Few Lessons I have learned...I pray!)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 40
And I Begin Again (ie. A Few Lessons I have learned...I pray!)
Hello friends! I am back after a long hiatus from this wonderful forum and the great people here.
Wanted to share what I am learning. I am now sober 2 days and change. My last drink was finished by 11pm on 7.11.11 - which is as good a quit day as any in my book.
Long story short - I have worked in the entertainment field, travel and tourism, and higher education...was introduced to alcohol while performing, hit my highest but functioning phase in the travel biz, and for the past two years have been fighting to quit...a switch flipped a few years ago and what was once heavy, regular, but fully functioning use turned into lost weekends, weeks, etc.
The first few times of quitting my MD and I worked together medically to assist in withdrawing, etc. Sadly, one of the big meds out there that helps with quitting makes my very ill...so, I do not have the tool to work with.
I have tried to quit 4-5 times in the past few years and made it to over 40 days by July. I was feeling AMAZING...with the exception of some stomach issues that the doc feels will heal over time. But, I was doing great.
Than, I got overconfident. So, on holiday, I bought a lovely bottle of scotch and on 7/2 had just a few before retiring. It was nice. On 7/3, I had a few more before retiring. On 7/4 I finished the bottle and the morning of 7/11 I woke sick, mad at myself, but resolved and more self aware than ever that enjoying alcohol as a healthy part of my life is not an option.
So, we begin again...the past two nights have been rough, although last night was better. I was still feeling agitated by yesterday afternoon...but, that relaxed by last night. I have been taking lots of vitamins, valerian, and drinking lots of water and tea...again...
I think the biggest lesson so far, is that I forgot how bad it feels to withdraw from alcohol. And, I feel bad, because my poor body is having to heal itself again and rid itself of the poison. So, please remember, write it down, etc...but, alcohol withdrawal is NOT pleasant. I am kicking myself...but, this better be a lesson learned, finally.
Secondly, I wrote down the last time that even at five days I was feeling significantly better and by 10 it was awesome. Time to chase that healthy feeling hard core instead of trying to chase a high I no longer can get healthily. My body is now "allergic" to what once brought pleasure. Sad, but true.
But, here I am again. I look forward to encouraging and being encouraged and sharing as this moves forward. I am thankful for the prayers of my folks, friends, and even strangers for I know that has/is helping with the withdrawal process.
And, I end with a question. For those on here who exercise. How soon in a detox/withdrawal did you resume exercise? Not looking for medical advice, but just what you learned personally and what level you have been able to resume in what phase of your recovery. Thanks!
Wanted to share what I am learning. I am now sober 2 days and change. My last drink was finished by 11pm on 7.11.11 - which is as good a quit day as any in my book.
Long story short - I have worked in the entertainment field, travel and tourism, and higher education...was introduced to alcohol while performing, hit my highest but functioning phase in the travel biz, and for the past two years have been fighting to quit...a switch flipped a few years ago and what was once heavy, regular, but fully functioning use turned into lost weekends, weeks, etc.
The first few times of quitting my MD and I worked together medically to assist in withdrawing, etc. Sadly, one of the big meds out there that helps with quitting makes my very ill...so, I do not have the tool to work with.
I have tried to quit 4-5 times in the past few years and made it to over 40 days by July. I was feeling AMAZING...with the exception of some stomach issues that the doc feels will heal over time. But, I was doing great.
Than, I got overconfident. So, on holiday, I bought a lovely bottle of scotch and on 7/2 had just a few before retiring. It was nice. On 7/3, I had a few more before retiring. On 7/4 I finished the bottle and the morning of 7/11 I woke sick, mad at myself, but resolved and more self aware than ever that enjoying alcohol as a healthy part of my life is not an option.
So, we begin again...the past two nights have been rough, although last night was better. I was still feeling agitated by yesterday afternoon...but, that relaxed by last night. I have been taking lots of vitamins, valerian, and drinking lots of water and tea...again...
I think the biggest lesson so far, is that I forgot how bad it feels to withdraw from alcohol. And, I feel bad, because my poor body is having to heal itself again and rid itself of the poison. So, please remember, write it down, etc...but, alcohol withdrawal is NOT pleasant. I am kicking myself...but, this better be a lesson learned, finally.
Secondly, I wrote down the last time that even at five days I was feeling significantly better and by 10 it was awesome. Time to chase that healthy feeling hard core instead of trying to chase a high I no longer can get healthily. My body is now "allergic" to what once brought pleasure. Sad, but true.
But, here I am again. I look forward to encouraging and being encouraged and sharing as this moves forward. I am thankful for the prayers of my folks, friends, and even strangers for I know that has/is helping with the withdrawal process.
And, I end with a question. For those on here who exercise. How soon in a detox/withdrawal did you resume exercise? Not looking for medical advice, but just what you learned personally and what level you have been able to resume in what phase of your recovery. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Glad you are starting again. Hopefully, this is it.
I don't have an excersice plan except for walking my dogs. LOL BUT...regardless of the plan we don't always 'feel' like doing what we're s'posed to. Many days I pushed myself to get out there...then once out I'd push myself to go further. I would say excersice when you feel you are ready...there is no start time to do anything after quitting. It's all in how we feel about ourselves.
Good luck this time and stay out of the liquor store!
I don't have an excersice plan except for walking my dogs. LOL BUT...regardless of the plan we don't always 'feel' like doing what we're s'posed to. Many days I pushed myself to get out there...then once out I'd push myself to go further. I would say excersice when you feel you are ready...there is no start time to do anything after quitting. It's all in how we feel about ourselves.
Good luck this time and stay out of the liquor store!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 181
hi rtr.
i found that the sooner the better it was to work my body.
even through a very physical job that i have ,to working out on my stairmaster.
i find the sooner i could get that poison outta my system the better.
sweat sweat and more sweat combined with tons of water and vitamins...
in 3 days i felt brand new again.
good luck
i found that the sooner the better it was to work my body.
even through a very physical job that i have ,to working out on my stairmaster.
i find the sooner i could get that poison outta my system the better.
sweat sweat and more sweat combined with tons of water and vitamins...
in 3 days i felt brand new again.
good luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 40
Thanks, friends! I firmly believe that this IS it. It really HAS to be! It was funny, in an ironic way, to look back at my past posts on here. I thought I had been trying to quit for two years...it appears that it has been just the past year. Withdrawal makes it seem longer...I don't want to feel any more withdrawal...time to do the opposite in life!
Guest
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 647
I am right there with you. But my withdraws get worse each time. I am able to keep fluids in me but my appetite is poor. Hang in there. Lets hope this is the last time for both of us. I made it 60 days last time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 40
Thanks, glad I made it back, too! I think I am not going to bother counting days this time...counting days (at least for me) is beginning to feel like I would go back to drinking at some point...but, yeah, no counting days, therefore...no going back.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 180
Originally Posted by RunningTheRace 
Thanks, glad I made it back, too! I think I am not going to bother counting days this time...counting days (at least for me) is beginning to feel like I would go back to drinking at some point...but, yeah, no counting days, therefore...no going back.
Good luck and hang in there!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
WB RTR!
It sounds to me like you just might make it this time. I call my sobriety unconditional because it isn't conditional on everything or anything going good or bad, my moods, what happens in my life, and certainly not conditional on my controlling others or the world or their trying to control me. I detoxed once in hospital and that iwas the last time for me too. See that switch flipped in my successful functioning head too. And I went downhill fast. But another switch flipped when I realized it was and would kill me, and by my own hand. My calling it unconditional is not from any book, practice, doctor expert of any kind. It is just my name for that switch. I am so excited for you!
It sounds to me like you just might make it this time. I call my sobriety unconditional because it isn't conditional on everything or anything going good or bad, my moods, what happens in my life, and certainly not conditional on my controlling others or the world or their trying to control me. I detoxed once in hospital and that iwas the last time for me too. See that switch flipped in my successful functioning head too. And I went downhill fast. But another switch flipped when I realized it was and would kill me, and by my own hand. My calling it unconditional is not from any book, practice, doctor expert of any kind. It is just my name for that switch. I am so excited for you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Great post, Itchy. I feel the same way too! Having 'quit' twice now, I can see and feel the difference in my attitude this time (previous time, I lasted 30 days - grumbling the whole time. No wonder I failed).
It's unconditional. Just something I just DON'T do now, (not CAN'T - I feel there's a big difference to that) and something I couldn't see myself doing in the future, either. I feel an inner peace when I think about not drinking..it's absolutely a whole different place for me.
Great job, RTR, sounds like you are on the right path!! Glad you came back!
It's unconditional. Just something I just DON'T do now, (not CAN'T - I feel there's a big difference to that) and something I couldn't see myself doing in the future, either. I feel an inner peace when I think about not drinking..it's absolutely a whole different place for me.
Great job, RTR, sounds like you are on the right path!! Glad you came back!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by Dee74
welcome back RTR 
What do you plan to do differently this time?
D
What do you plan to do differently this time?
D
But, the other thing I really want to do is go to a recovery program. I would love to go to the Owl'sNest in SC. If I can't do that, my company also offers counseling now with an EAP. But, I will be doing something other than just AA. I have been using a 12 steps App on my phone. It has been very helpful. Has the Big Book. Have been reading all of the stories. They helped get me back on track, actually.
But, I have involved already a greater number of people in this new movement of mine. I am tired of living in the shadows...the shadows don't help with this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 40
Itchy, Newwings. Thanks! Yep, this has to be unconditional. I really believe that I know that now. I view this like a food allergy, really...in many ways it is. I am allergic to this stuff...so, no need to consume it. It only makes me sick anyway.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
