Ans

By the grace of God I have been sober 11 months. And tomorrow evening I will attend my first ever N.A/A.A meeting.. Yay! I am so excited.. I am going with my brother who has been in a lock down treatment center for almost six months. I don't know what to expect, and I am very shy I don't like to speak in front of people period, let alone about my battle with addiction.. Also I have a question
My brother went to a men's group meeting tonight and he got a phone number from another guy he said this guy offered to be his sponsor, I am not sure what all a sponsor does. and I ask my brother if he was going to work the 12 steps, he said he doesn't know because he doesn't know what all the steps are. I told him i thought he only needed to know what each step was as he worked on that step?? is that right?? how much recovery time should someone have before they offer to be a sponsor? I know they say you should leave your first meeting with at least one phone number? I am just not sure how this sponsor thing works???

IndaMiricale

congrats and good luck

you guys will be in good hands, i just speak for me i have been going to AA meeting every night for alomost three weeks. I have got two numbers every meeting, found a home which is simply a meeting that you really feel comfortable and you sign up and help set up and break down, gives you responsibility which we need


And in two weeks i got a sponsor , they were telling me not to wait ask some pretty quickly and get started ,

wish you both the best look foward to hearing more ,

keithj

That first one is true. The Steps are in order for a reason, and knowing what they involve before one is actually doing that Step serves no real purpose. That Steps are a program of action. A doing, not a knowing.

More important than time, a sponsor should have had a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps, and be willing to show another the directions in the BB for having that awakening. That's the result of the Steps, and that's our purpose in AA.

Knowing what I know now, I would find out if the guy who offered meets those qualifications, and I would start TODAY on taking those Steps.

PaleMale

This quote is critical. And I don't think you need rush choosing a sponsor. I asked for one 30 days after my first meeting. Finding a good match is important. A sponsor is more like a parent than a friend. There's some hard love ahead. Good sponsorship is all about the steps. You can change sponsors if the match isn't quite right.

Good luck and "Easy does it!"

Kjell

Hi Ans-

I'm "bumping" this thread in hopes you'll let us know how your 1st meeting went.

Kjell~

silly

BB stands for Big Book, the book of Alcoholics Annonymous

Ans

The meeting was great! I'm attending another one tomorrow! I believe this is what I have been missing in my recovery! It was nice to know I am not alone in recovery! The ppl were so nice and welcoming. I spoke to a few ppl. Plus seen three people who had invited me to a meetings when I was still using. They were never happy to see us there! I also seen someone I used with who has been clean for a year he looks great! I am thankful I went. And I plan to keep attending!

Ans

And thank you everyone for helping me out

CarolD

Congratulations to you and your brother....

I'm so pleased you both are finding meetings beneficial.
I certainly have and do...

DayTrader

Agreed......

as a newcomer though, I had no way to know who had had this experience and who hadn't. It seemed like a lot of ppl "said" they'd had it but it didn't take a genius to see they obviously had "it" at different levels......or different amounts...

So the question is, how do YOU know if person X or Y has had this vital experience and whether they're able to assist you?

Well, for 1, you don't figure it out by "identifying" with what they say at tables. Remember, you have NO experience (yet ) with the process.....so it might be hard to identify with someone who's talking about something you don't understand (yet) - the process of recovery practiced by the stronger members in AA.

2 - watch what they're DOING. Are they sitting down on time for the meeting (or are they walking around, getting coffee, chatting with friends while someone is reading/speaking, etc - generally being disrespectful), are they paying attention to what the other ppl at the meeting are talking about or are they sitting there thinking about themselves, did they get their early.....and are they staying late "to help out," are they taking an interest in you because you're new (of course, this requires that you TELL them that it's your first meeting and that you're new ).

Stuff like that is what the program asks us to do. Many don't do it though....they just don't drink and get to a lot of meetings. Trust me, that's BS recovery.....if it's even "recovery" at all. From what I've seen......it's not the path in recovery I WANT to be on.....

If you really want to find a good one........ask some of the ppl with some time who they'd recommend. If several ppl all throw out the same name, start shadowing/watching that person.

If you're sincere in your search....and YOU'RE putting in some action of your own....... my experience is that whatever God is out there sends you just the right person (and sometimes, they show up pretty quickly too).

Ans

Hit up my 2nd meeting tonight!!! We disgusted step 5. I'm feeling good about these meetings! I'm so glad I went!